prune walnut

As I was checking my baking supplies at home, I realised that I still had a lot of buttermilk from a previous baking project that is expiring soon.  So I started to look for recipes that called for buttermilk.

There was Southern Chicken and Pancakes.  Those were the popular ones, then I saw Prune Cake.

not everyone's favorite "raw material"

I was suddenly reminded of my good friend from college, Camille who would always rave about a Prune Walnut Cake from a local bakery near our university.

Walnuts are starting to grow on me...

I decided to change the recipe a bit and make my version with walnuts.  I chopped the walnuts but made sure it remained chunky.  I also didn't want uniform pieces, thought that would make the cake more interesting.

suddenly thought of making yema

 I wanted to use up the buttercream icing I have sitting in the ref, so I decided to split the batter into two.  Poured some into a pan and what was left into cupcake paper lined muffin cups.

the cake

I cooked a glaze with some butter, buttermilk, vanilla and liquor--quite similar to the apple cake.  That went to the cake.  Unfortunately, I don't have any photos of the cake with the glaze :(

got tea?

For the cupcake, I skipped the glaze and instead topped it with my icing.  Maybe I am just not trying hard enough, but my cupcakes always looks ummmm, homemade. 

lost

Before Rhea asks, let me just say that I didn't lose any friends, not this time :)

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I thought about friendship and how sometimes we lose touch because we are away from each other, too busy, changed. Maybe we lost reason to talk or hang out. While I don't particularly enjoy somewhat losing touch with someone because our lives had moved on, I recognise that such is life and that truly, your friends will remain your friends. And maybe at another point in your life, you'd meet again.

Last year, I met my college girlfriends (we missed you Pampooh!) again after a very long time, and it was like time didn't change what we were to each other. Sure we were facing different things now but I knew, I knew and felt that I was amongst friends.

I'm hopeful for another reunion late this year :)

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That was about losing touch.

But what of losing a friendship?

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I came close to losing a friend once because I was stupid. i didn't think that he would have understood if I told him what was bothering me about our friendship. It lasted for a couple of years too. I really drove him away. You can even say, literally.

Luckilly, i woke up one day and realised that I sucked.

I knew there was no way I could take back all those times that I knew I was making him miserable--and continued on ignoring him.

He gave me another chance.

You see, in this particular scenario, perhaps, he was wiser than I was.

---

Are all friendships worth saving?

I hate to say this, but honestly, I'd say...

NO

---

I was talking to someone the other day. She was asking how I felt about the chaos that surrounds her social circle. Not wanting to spill her story, I'd jump right to what I told her.

"Good riddance. Do not beat yourself too hard over losing that person. You don't deserve to be treated that way. If she truly was your friend, she would at least have given you some repect. You might not feel it now because you are hurting, but when it stops you will feel grateful that she is out of you life, leaving more room for people who truly love you."

---

I've decided a long time ago that I will chose the people I let into my life--only because I truly cannot afford to waste time "making do" with the company I hold.

---

It's almost 3AM and after a few couple of drinks, I'm feeling sentimental.

So right here, I'd say that everyday I am thankful for having wonderful people in my life :)

Boston Guy

As a new chapter had begun, I thought it is an opportune time to write about...Boston Guy.

Who is BG?

He is a Mr. Wrong who comes into your life at the "perfect" time.

Don't get me wrong, it isn't that he is horrible.  In fact, chances are he is quite likable, maybe funny or charming even.  He is someone you could...stand.  And stand to spend time with. A lot of time with, even.

Only, he isn't the one for you.  And you know it.  Fair enough, maybe not immediately. But in any case, at some point, you knew. And sort of, well... ignore the fact.

You can even make excuses and silly statements like "We have a connection.  Really.  REALLY" talking to yourself.

Your friends don't like him for trivial reasons.  And strangely, you understand why.  

And because he isn't the one, after a few weeks, your brain will just refuse to dumb itself any longer.  You physically and emotionally, will not be able fake it anymore.

Then, it's over.  Just like that.

---

BG being an okay guy won't be crushed.  In fact, he probably knew all along what was happening and was just too happy to be part of something seemingly of his interest.  You.  Dating you.  

Dating.

---

Later, you'd realise who BG really was for you.

In hindsight, it would appear that BG really is, at a critical moment, a (destined) much needed...distraction.

Maybe to tide you through a rough patch, restlessness or even, boredom.

The latter sounds bad.  Demonic.

---

Why Boston?  I'm not saying.  

I do know a pretty girl who'd probably be nodding, smiling and shaking her head as she reads this though.

Oh and BG doesn't have to be from--or even, had been to Boston.

Some Days

Some days, I can't see. Clearly. I can't see clearly.

Some days, I wake up and everything is blurry. Literally.

Some days, I focus and re-focus. In vain.

Some days, there is some pain in between my eyes. Slightly up my forehead. Where the third eye is.

Some days, I need to wear my specs. Even with my 20 - 25 vision.

Some days, I need to alternate between two specs. With varied grades.

Some days, I think it is because some days I over work my eyes.

Some days, I think it is because I'm getting old.

Some days, I think that maybe I wore a top that's too bright. And it causes the glare.

Today seems like a day that is everything like some days. Maybe even the latter.

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Suddenly, I am reminded of that time when a certain blockmate (yes Rhea, this is you!) once pulled me to one side and said that she would hear a certain guy (No Rhea, I will not type his name) sing "Do you see what I HEAR?".

last stretch

It had been a few years since I last came home, obviously I have not seen a lot of good friends for a long time. Too long.

The past few days had been a blast. Admittedly, I am quite tired from endless activities sun up to sun down, sometimes sun up to sun up even. I may need a vacation to rest from this vacation!

I however feel overwhelmed. Happy. It's true what they say about good friends. Even if you don't see each other for a long time, when you do, you just fall into the same place where you left off--close.

I have three more days, let's hope my multivitamins is as good as it promises. I need the energy.

measure up

I'm doing another bridesmaid stint nearing the end of the year and I have not given her the vital numbers.

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I was teasing the bride that this is not 'it' and that she should give me time to slim down.

But the truth is that, well... I got lazy.

This week had been very hectic that I didn't have the self control to force upon myself such a task.

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I'll do it this weekend. For sure.

I measure up.

NU is a myth

A very long time ago, I read a very much forwarded email that I could never shake off my head. Especially the part about NU. I googled.

Just to be fair, I will post that bit about DLSU too.

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DLSU
Di Lumusot Sa UPCAT. That's a classic ain't it? It's as hilarious now as it was when I first heard it in 1994, which is to say, it's about as funny as getting kicked in the crotch. It's sad to note for a proud alumnus such as myself that a school with as impressive an academic pedigree as La Salle has become nothing more than a money-hungry institution whose only requirements for acceptance nowadays seem to be a pulse, an IQ over 80, and the financial capacity/ability to pay. Nowadays, whenever I incounter a person clayming to be from La Sall and they speech bad, have poor grammage, and cannot spill correctness, I am not surprice.

NU
I'm not even sure if this place is a real school. And I don't mean that in a snooty-you're-nothing-compared-to-my-school way. I mean I'm not even sure this place actually exists. I actually started believing that its initials really stood for Negative sa UPCAT.

Think about it. Do any of you really know anyone from NU? Do any of you even know of anyone who knows anybody from NU?

And if any of you even point to their basketball team and the audience that watches its games as proof of its existence, I beg you to think of this point. They act like absolute maniacs and they even look the part. If we go by that, then the National University is not a school. It's a correctional facility.

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Hilarious.

I seriously don't know anyone from NU--or anyone who knows anyone from NU.

I bet you want to read the whole thing. Google.

Who wrote this? Right. Google.

happy birthday rhea

it's saturday

I got an early email at 9:30 AM from a very close friend.

I think I am one of the people who appreciates him most. There are many reasons behind the appreciation.

The traffic in Manila and the proximity of our homes gave us the chance to become close. Up to now people wonder how we got to be good friends when besides our degrees, parental homes' geography and rules on disclosure (which is not apparent for very obvious reasons, so maybe only the first two count), we have nothing in common.

Whenever I come home to Manila, I do my best to get in touch with him. And each time, it is like we are back to our college carpool days.

This post isn't about conversations shared while speeding at two meters per minute. It is about the email.

Two lines.

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How do you decide to break-up with someone?
How do you decide to throw away all the time and emotion you’ve invested?

Tough questions.

I think the answer(s) would vary (to some extent) depending on the kind of relationship you have and want.

First off, I believe that there are degrees of dissatisfaction that correspond to for the lack of a better term, a break-up spectrum which has four major phases (1) thinking of breaking up, (2) seeking counsel, (3) weighing of options and (4) breaking up. It isn't necessary to go through each one, nor to lead to the last.

In my opinion, the minute you touch on the metaphoric spectrum, it means that something has to change. People (who make sense) don't think of breaking up just because they are bored.

Asking yourself questions might be the best way to assess the situation.

Do you truly want to work things out? If your answer is NO, then there is no need to proceed.

Is there anything your partner can do to make you want to stay? Again, if your answer is NO, then there is no need to proceed.

What do you want to happen? Is it (reasonably) possible? Sustainable? The first in the series is hardest to answer, and it might take some time before you can really figure this out. If you answer YES to either of the next questions, proceed to the next question.

How far are you willing to negotiate? If you do, is it something you can live with? Will you resent your partner? The key phrase here being you can live with, at the end of it all, it boils down to that regardless if the reason for dissatisfaction is an arrangement, an event, a sin of omission, a habit, or even a quirk.

Think of how you feel about the relationship today. Think of how you imagine feeling about the relationship tomorrow, the day after, next week, next month. I am not an expert, but I know that the right relationships feel right. In a general sense it should make you feel good. Happy. Not suffocating, dreadful, resentful, bitter, beat or inadequate.

I think I have once again, overwritten. I'm not sure if this helped. I understand that at this point you don't really want to talk about it, but you would appreciate some thoughts.

(I'm not sure if you remember that time I was crying the whole time during the drive from school to our street. You came by later to bring and say something. It helped. If only I am in Manila now, I'd be by your doorstep.)

exciting lunch date with camille

(previously karma "camille yawn")

My lunch was just partially touched. Maybe it was the curry puff I had for breakfast.

In likelihood it was probably about the conversation I was having with a good friend. It had been so long since I really had a chance to have an extensive exchange with her.

So many things changed over the last eight years, yet I feel as if I know her still.

It is nice to talk to someone going through the same whatever-part-of-life-you-are-at as you. It was as if our thoughts meshed seamlessly.

I really wish I could write more but that would be over sharing. I over write, yes. Over share? No.

who's the singer?

Apparently, according to Pam, I am.

Hahahahaha.

And Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii will always loooove you....

you can do this

I received a photo of a pretty girl from a college friend yesterday with a note that says I should make my version of the top worn by the girl. She says I could make one like it.

Today I got an email from my best friend saying that her sister just got a custom made top (which was not cheap) that she was sure I could replicate. The title of her email was "You can do this tat :)".

One could bet his life that I would really try to replicate these tops. But the bigger thing that has happened here is that, I am blessed to have friend who go out of their ways to help me do something with my time as I am so free, hahahaha. But seriously, I feel overwhelmed that they think much of my hobby.

"this is it" she says

Willie told me about this a few months back, and maybe I wasn't paying attention then because it didn't really register.

Anyways, now, it has. I checkout out their wedding announcer site and look what I found!

It is always nice to see your friends fall in love--especially the most torpe ones. Hahahaha.

I think I have had some life changing events brought about by weddings, but I never mind attending these events (Except when they ask me to join the garter/bouquet games! That part sucks! Pam, I have not forgotten that you made me dance the papaya song!).

I wanted to add that it is probably the surrendering yourself to your partner that send goosebumps up my spine but as this entry is not about me, I'm stopping there.

I still haven't met Willie's bride, and I hope that could be mitigated soon. I wish the couple all the best.

I'm very happy for you Pugs! By the way, I never figured out why you talk to me in english and tagalog to everyone else. Hahaha.

twisted tWASTED

I was busy all night mixing drinks and listening to Roch's playlist, when I heard a song from my college freshman year. I caught myself doing the smile-and-shrug-combo; I couldn't help it. I looked around for Roch and pointed my finger at her (relax, not the middle one!) when she caught my eye, this was when she said "Soooo TWASTED".

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RHEA

See! I didn't forget, I am thoughtful that way ;) This is based on Singapore time, by the way.

Camille, our buttercup

If you have a cutesy story, a feel good moment, a charming encounter or anything heart warming to share, tell Camille, she is sure to flash that dimpled smile and say awwwww.

Lasalita na Engboy

It's passed twelve and I should be sleeping. I can't sleep. It is because I am thinking about something. I'm thinking that I did not need three cum laudes to answer the aswang query.

If I had approached any random Engboy from DLSU, I would have gotten the answer without much ado. I am confident that the answer would not only be the definition and sub-categories, but also related urban legends, history, trivia, sighting and maybe, even names.

And because he knows how to acknowledge his sources, he would tell me that if I need more info I could read tabloids such as Bandera, watch the last 15 Magandang Gabi Bayan Halloween Special Episodes as well as the Regal Shocker Series, and either talk to Nards, the parking attendant/yosi vendor stationed in front of the Benilde Chowking or a friend's maid from Capiz.

Rhea's Birthday is July 5, 1979

Every year, she doesn't fail to remind me that I forgot her birthday and that I did not greet her.

She even claims that I have not once, in the eleven years that we've known each other greeted her.

That is not true!

I managed to greet her on the years that Pam reminded me that it is her birthday.

I don't do it on purpose. I am just real bad with dates.

This year, I did good. I greeted her before her birthday passed. I did so good that I greeted her, a day before her birthday.

We'll see what happens next year.