new season

season ii

A few months ago, we brought home the healthiest calamansi plant you can imagine.  It was filled with both fruits and flowers.

For a few months, I enjoyed cutting off random fruit to add to dishes I prepared for my husband.  Life was good.

---

I then start to notice that there were no new flowers.  Leaves began to fall off too.  

I immediately asked my Dad what to do, he said that it was normal.  He said that the old leaves fall off to make way for new blooms.

Of course I believed him, but I can't help but think that my plant was, sick.

---

A few weeks ago, as I was watering my plant when I noticed new blooms!  Not two nor three put maybe close to a dozen.  Maybe even over a dozen, I was too excited to count!

I took a few photos using my phone so I can show my Mom.  

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It is funny how I would never have able to identify these flowers as that of a calamansi.  Even when we first got the plant, the flowers were there only for a few days so you hardly have time to memorise how it looked like.

Sometimes I guess, I forget to make time to really see.

---

As you have guessed, all the blooms are gone now and I am left for numerous small dots--promises of an abundant harvest.

TAG. You're IT.

I had been feeling frustrated.

My sister had given me a number of luggage tags; all of them in plastic--just like a credit card, with basic information about myself.

During random trips, as I pull by luggage off the conveyor belt, I’d notice that the tag had split, cracked or gone missing.

From say eight tags, I am not down to, well, zero.

--- 

I looked around for more durable luggage tags here, but I’d find the reasonably priced ones flimsy and the good sturdy leather ones, too expensive. 

So I looked online.

And looked.

And looked some more.

---

I came across an online store that offered bespoke pieces, small pieces.  Admittedly, they were not cheap, but I felt that somehow their rates were reasonable.

It did not hurt that they were very prompt in their replies and accommodating—things I highly appreciate.

I ordered four tags, one for my husband’s luggage, two for myself—one for each of my luggages, and another for my brother in law.  No idea where he would use it, but I can imagine him making full use of it.

I'm yours.

It was a long wait.  I must say.

BUT…

It was well worth the wait!

There were three styles available and I can’t decide which I like best.  All three styles / shades were so beautiful.

It was just a bonus that these were handmade.

The leather they used were of good quality, I especially love the contrast stitching and the old school feel of the typeset.

---

Stopping myself for placing orders again.

in your loving arms

For a couple of weeks now, I had been contemplating about the end.  

Death.  

Perhaps... about how fleeting life is.  

And how I tend to take it for granted, living.

---

A meeting with a friend got cancelled last minute yesterday, she needed to go to a funeral.  Someone close to her who had been battling a disease for more than six month, lost.    

I do not fool myself thinking my words would take the pain away.  Unlike time--to a certain extent.  Still, it was to hoping that our exchange somehow gave her something, no matter how seemingly insignificant.  

Something.

The end, even when 'expected' still catch people by surprise, at least for me.  It is as if hoping for, in brief moments--expecting a miracle.  That at the last minute, the guiding hand would grant a big bonus.  

Of course, this is dreaming.  Dreaming for life where there is no pain and nobody leaves.  A world that is quite obviously, not this one.

---

It was a Wednesday when a good friend got in touch with me to tell me about her loss.

Up to this moment, I still feel her pain.  Choking a little.

Maybe, it is because to some extent I felt the happiness from the short life they spent together.

The end... it takes us back to the beginning.  It allows us to see the wonder at the middle, the small joys that easily get lost in between one day and the next.

It bookmarks meaningful passages and perfect-imperfect moments.  Experiences that define human relationships.  Expressions of love.   

There are times when the best and hardest thing to do is to do nothing.  For now I choose to do that, to be there for her through the act of prayer.  She knows.  I wait.

---

Yesterday, as I was playing a song to my husband and I walked up to him so he could take me in his arms.

I stayed there quietly, being held by him.

My head against his beating heart.

Grateful.  

allow your soul

In Singapore, someone is always coming or leaving.  Lately, more are leaving.  At least amongst the people I know.

Why do people leave?  Some friends got married and followed their spouses, some were relocated by their employers, some lost their jobs, some want to spend more time with their families, some just decided it was time to move on.

Whatever reason or circumstance, I always get affected by news of someone leaving.  It may be a friend I hardly see, but perhaps it is not how it affects my everyday life but rather the idea of the dwindling number of 'significant' or somewhat 'familiar' people around me.  As in, 'on this island'.  Physically.

It sometimes make you wonder why this place seems more like a pitstop rather than the destination.  

Is it truly difficult to grow root here? 

Is that truly the case?  Because this feels like home to me.  When I go on holiday, no matter how great the holiday when I get to the airport, I feel like I am nearing home. 

When I lay down at night, it feels like home. 

But why does news of migration make me doubt that?  Not unlike when 'everyone' is in on a secret and it is only you who is unaware.

Doubt. 

Doubt is good, because it keeps you aware.  It means that you are thinking.  You are concious. 

But too much doubt also means second guessing, instability and lack of trust.  It encourages feelings of restlessness and maybe, insecurity.

I think I need a mantra, To remind me that I am exactly where I am intended to be. 

I never intended for this blog entry to be religious, but it is interesting that in times of doubt, I find myself unconsiously making reference to religious text.  Perhaps it is the guiding hand reminding me to KEEP FAITH.

I will close off this entry with short prayer I read a long time ago and I loved, I had come across it perhaps more than a decade ago, but it never left me.  Maybe this is just what I need.  My mantra.

May today there be peace within.May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.May you be content knowing that you are a child of God.Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.It is there for each and everyone of you.

Yogurt Pancake with things I have at home

start the day right
yogurt pancake with dried strawberry and dark choco chips

I decided to wake my husband up with the smell of browned butter and pancakes.

I had used a simple base recipe that found online and added  things I had at home--always making a conscious effort to clear our stash.  

I did not have enough milk, so I had to replace the milk in the recipe with yogurt.  I also only had wheat, semolina and cake flour.  I used cake flour instead of all purpose flour that the recipe called for.

I also skipped the butter in the batter, instead I only used butter to pan fry.

I chopped some walnuts, dried strawberries and added them in.  I also gave the batter a generous dose of dark chocolate chips.  I just knew my husband would love it!

I took the opportunity to garnish the pancakes with stuff I put into the batter, just before I poured dark maple syrup all over.

Sleepy smiles and Mmmmmms from the barely woken one made all my effort worth it :)

crispy corn dog

I had some time today to make a snack to kick off the long weekend.  Having packets of sausages, I took a spicy italian and another with cheese.

Some wholemeal dough intended for our pizza dinner tonight went around each quartered dog.

we've been quartered, wrapped and 'milked'

 As I haven't used this dough to wrap around before, I was a bit worried.  Although I was quite hopeful that they'd come out crunchy.

While wrapping, I thought about making a cheese sauce for dipping.  My husband loves cheese, he also loves dipping.  Perfect opportunity :)

'smiles'

Some dough decided they'd stick out, which reminded me of McDonald's Twister Fries!

Crispy, cheesy and spicy.  Perfect.

let's all jump into the cheese bath!

Green Tea Pound Cake

I had been feeling off.  I think it is because I have not gone to yoga for a while.  I am doing a trial week in a studio from Saturday, so I'm hoping that would do the trick.  That would be a post for another day.

---

During my afternoon commute I started to think about baking.  I ran through a list in my head of the different things I can make.  

I also needed to take into consideration the ingredients I had at home, I was not about to go grocery shopping, that would just drain what was left of my energy.

Baking.  Baking is good, it relaxes me.  

---

Corndogs?  I didn't have cornmeal.

Forgotten Kisses?  I don't think I am up to that much egg beating.

Butterscotch?  Might not have enough brown sugar.

---

Then I remembered that I had some powdered green tea at home.  Time to experiment, I thought.

I googled for recipes and found a lot of green tea and red bean combination.  

Red Bean?  I didn't think so.  Nope.

I searched for "butter pound cake", I thought that I can just play around with the basic and incorporate my green tea powder or anything else I have at home.

---

I had some butter cream icing tucked away at the back of our refrigerator, I took it out and replaced some butter requirement in the recipe.

I also used dark chocolate rather than white, because I didn't have white.  Plus I don't really like white chocolate.  

---

While mixing the batter, the green tea smell was so strong that I was worried it will overwhelm the butter and chocolate.  

Oh well, I could always do something later.  Like add vanilla ice cream :)

---

As usual, I chose to bake them cupcake style because it is so convenient.  It also helps with portioning.

---

Our whole kitchen smelt of goodness when I took these out of the oven.

It's not easy being green!

These are soft and moist inside, but I like how the tops are somewhat crunchy-chewy, as if there was a 'shell' protecting it.

I love that these didn't have the  'pandan green' colour that I anticipated, thank you to the dark chocolate.  The green had a caramel tinge--almost as if to make you anticipate a subtle brown sugar taste to it.

come closer... closer....

I ate two while they were hot.

Not sure how many I'll eat today.  

No Cooking!

It is not uncommon for us to go out for food nor take food away to eat at home.  For one, the economics of cooking for two is not the most sound.  Although our decision is not that is of economics, but feelings. 

We eat out when we feel like it.  Or when I'm lazy to cook.  Or if I have an evening conference call.

Food delivery and taking food away are based on convenience and craving.

I cook for fun.  I love to cook.  I love it when my husbands says "wow", in between the first and quickly-following-second-bite. 

I like experimenting.

I like figuring out what to make out of "what we have" with us nearing the next shopping day, when supplies are low.

---

Early this week my husband told me we should set a chore-less weekday.

This was a day that we won't do any chores (wohoooo!!!).  

This means no cooking. 

Yesterday was our first choreless weekday.

---

I cheated.

Sorry :(

---

I did some light cooking.  Roasted Chorizo.

Then put a few things we had together in a platter.  Food we had lying around like pistachios, walnuts, capers, olives, dulong in olive oil and grapes.  Luckily, we had a baguette, so I sliced that too and served.

Did I say that came with a bottle of Chardonnay? :)

---

When I heard our front door opening, I literally shouted "Surprise!!!!".

Smiling, my husband walked into our flat.

Not a Birthday.  Not an Anniversary.

No reason.

Stuck at Home

"I will comfort you, child"

In dire need of comfort today.

My cramps were so bad that I couldn't get up this morning.  It was bad.  

---

It did not help that my heart had not healed from yesterday's news that my yoga studio had officially CLOSED.

It is truly the end of the road.

END.

---

By midday, I was physically feeling better.  However, my stomach was growling!  I only had a glass of soy milk for breakfast.

---

Nothing in our cupboard or ref really appealed to me, so I sat by our dinning table to think about what to eat / cook.

McDonald's was first in mind, I have to be honest, all the Twister Fries posts by friends in the Philippines were getting to me.

So I sat there.

Staring at nothing.

Until... my eyes shifted to our 'fruit basket' that isn't really a fruit basket, and saw some baby bananas :)

(bright idea)

Thirty minutes later, "lunch".

closed door

I am still in some form of denial that my yoga studio may be closing for good.

Maybe that is a good thing, there are always new studios to checkout and different classes to try.  It is also a good opportunity for me to find somewhere more convenient.

I guess as I am such a creature of habit, my not-so-conveniently-located-yoga-studio feels like home and swapping for a closer one doesn't really entice me.

---

There is a set of yoga clothes stored in my office drawer, something I keep there in case I have the sudden urge to go to class.  And while there is no chance at all that I am going this week, I had not brought it home yet.

Hoping?  Maybe.

---

I practiced a little bit at home yesterday.  I needed the stretch.  And my short vacation caused some softness in the midsection. 

(Thanks Mom for keeping me well fed.)

---

I feel a little bit melancholy. 

Somehow, my studio closing feels to me like a good friend is moving away for good. 

Maybe it is because of the strong association of the practice to the physical place.  My first yoga class ever, I took with this yoga company.

---

I have started looking around and while there are two I had shortlisted, I don't think I am ready to commit.

I think I need more time.

Meanwhile, I have the feeling my yoga mat and block at home will take some beating till then. 

my one and OILY you

I told my husband that somehow, I had become a hippie.

That was me, exaggerating.  

It did not happen overnight, and I am still somewhat surprised with the number of natural treatments I embrace.

Tea Tree Oil.  That is what I use when I have insect bites, minor cuts and pimples.  We literally never run out of this at home.  It is the second most used oil in our home.

Rose Hip Oil.  I had stopped buying night cream for more than two years now.  A few drops of Rose Hip Oil on my face before heading to bed.  That's it.  

Peppermint Oil.  Lately I have been using a lot on this during that horrible time of the month.  Ladies, you know what I mean.  

Lavender Oil.  This, I put on the soles of my (and my husband's) feet at night.  It is supposed to help you sleep better at night.  Placebo?  Maybe.  But I love how it smells!

Baking Soda.  I use this for everything--the most obvious is for baking ;) but I also occassionally use it as an exfoliant, laundry soap, silver polish and... shampoo!   

family of growers

kindergarten

I think it was my mom who posted a a link to some 8 plants you can start growing quite easily.  It was about vegetables you can buy once and grow yourself.  

Road to self sustenance?  Maybe for some.

I'm doing it for fun :)

Now that I think about it, Red Onion was not even listed.  I'm a rebel like that. 

It also makes a good blog entry, the dish I'd prepare using my 'harvest'.  Maybe I'd use some Calamansi from our plant too.

Can't wait!

my sister's scallions

 Meanwhile, the women in our family decided they'd do it too.  These are my sister's scallions after less than a week.  

She says seeing the new leaves makes her smile.  She is adding a few more stalks, seeing how fast they grow.  

I don't have the photo here, but making smoothies a few weeks back, she decided to throw two avocado seeds into separate pots.  And guess what?  They are plants now!

Of cours it would be years until the avocado plants bear fruit, but it's still cool!

Miss Miami: Celery

My Aunt in the States chose Celery.  The photo here is Day 1, I'm sure we'd see her baby's progress as we go along.

I have a funny feeling she would grow other vegetables pretty soon ;)

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We are waiting for my Mom.  Not sure what she is growing but she swears she's starting in September.

señorita french toast

ba-na-na & cheese french toast
with walnuts, french vanilla almonds, maple syrup

As I was asleep before 9PM last night (yes, feeling feverish still!), I was up early this Sunday morning.

I looked at my sleepy husband and asked him if he wanted breakfast.

"Yes!  French toast!" he said with his eyes half closed and a smile on his lips.

---

Thirty minutes later, I put this in front of him.  He is now wide awake and ready to eat.

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In the past, whenever I made french toast, it was the traditional way/ingredients.  Ever so often I'd put some cheese, making it savoury.  I like the creamy, stringy texture too!     

Today came in with extras.

Bananas were actually just sitting on our dinning table waiting to be eaten, these are that of the small variety called señorita.  I like to call them baby banana too :)

The nuts were part of a haul from an online store my husband's friend recommended.  

For breakfast, I was just obvious, they all had to come together!

finally home

one day pancit will come

Ever since we got our beloved aloe vera, I had been thinking of what would be next for us.  

We wanted to pace ourselves buying plants--like everything we have in our home right now.  It would be too easy to suddenly have a forest.  

I wanted a plant that would contribute to the kitchen; and look good too.  Chilli and Calamansi were the finalists.   

The Calamansi won.  For not only does it look and smell good, it is also my favourite Filipino ingredient!  I kid you not; when my cousin who moved to Canada told me that the thing she misses the most from home was Calamansi; I FELT THE PAIN.  Truly.  

What is pancit without calamansi?  SAD.    

---

We are looking to welcome another plant into our home--when I find it.

There is a particular orchid variety that I WANT, but can't find to purchase.  There are a lot of VERY similar ones, but I am truly willing to wait for the one that takes my breath away.  I'm patient that way :)

Hibiscus

big flower

The hibiscus was one of the first rainbow loom projects I saw when I started browsing online.  I remember though that as I had very limited C-clips then, I could not afford sacrificing five.  Soooo, I didn't really pursue.

Chatting with my niece however, I discovered that she likes this bracelet but somehow feels that it is too advanced to make herself.

As any 'thoughtful' godmother would do, I made one for her.

After making this, I realised that the only drawback for this bracelet is the excessive C-Clip requirement.  It maybe has the highest wow-to-effort ratio!  If you have tons of C-Clips I recommend making a bouquet!  It is easy, promise!

I played around with the colours on this, each petal is supposed to have three colours, I used four :)

I showed this photo to my niece and she's excited--as I am!

Three (once) Painful Stories

Things we buy are bore out of life's issues.  Or frustrations.

I think.

I find that it is true for me.

---

When I got my hands on some gift cheques, I made a mental list of the things I wanted to buy.  

Things that will address some life issues and frustrations.

Things that somewhat make the pain go away.

new friends

Chicken.  I am always paranoid that I'd serve raw chicken.  

Salmonella.  

I remember getting the bird in and out of the oven checking and re-rechecking if the entire thing is cooked through.  

I hate hate hate, having to cut through it to see if it is still pink.

There was a time that I got very frustrated because as we were eating, I discovered that I had to put it back into the oven.

Horrible.  

I love mealtimes!  I especially love cooking and serving my husband various dishes.  I look forward to sitting with him, enjoying what food I put together.

Obviously, I was not happy having to 'fix' something while relaxing with my husband.

Not to mention having to change plates and forking through the rest-of-the-chicken--assessing the 'state' of the fowl.  

It was a nightmare.  

I decided then to postpone any whole chicken cooking until I get a thermometer.  

Ahem.

Guess what I'm cooking this weekend? :)

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Apples. And pears.  I love them.  I love them raw, chopped in a salad, dipped in caramel, baked with brown sugar, butter and rum, as pie filling.

I once bought a cheap apple corer because I was making stuffed apple wrapped in a pastry and there was truly no way to core the apple but buy the gadget (none that I was aware of).  It was the only one corer in the grocery store, so I went ahead and got it.

It was able to do the job, I even used it to take the 'eyes' out of peeled pineapple one time.

BUT, as with poorly constructed things, it broke.  The 'blade' twisted.  You get what you pay for, I guess.

Long story short, I was making diagonal cylinders through apples for a while.  It meant getting more flesh out that necessary to catch the seeds.  What a waste of good fruit!

Last night, I threw that flimsy abomination away.  Good times :)

---

Meat. 

Okay.  No painful story here.  I lied.

The meat tenderiser however, will enhance the Filipino Tapa I often make :)

in bLOOM

My mom bought me a rainbow loom set.

With it, she got me four packs of rubber bands.  I have the camouflage, skin, opaque blue aside from the rainbow mix that came with the loom.

Seeing my niece hooked and finding out from my sister of my interest, my mom decided she was getting me the kit.  She even hand carried my toy to me :)

I love it!!!

'flower power'

It was really the 'dragon scale' that I wanted to make, hence it was the first bracelet that I made.  I gave it to my niece :)

My next bracelet was the hexafish, that is the blurred bracelet above, left.  It took forever to do, really.  But I love the simplicity of it.  I used a mix of the skin pack and the beige from the camouflage pack.  That bracelet is mine.

Meanwhile, the bracelet with the bright pink flower had found refuge around my good friend's wrist.  

'citrus'

I saw the citrus style bracelet on Friday and made a few.  I love how it looks like a sand dollar.  The puffy effect also makes me want to make A LOT and pile it on.  It's a shame these two don't go well together. If only I had all the shades of nude....  

I had also made other bracelets like starburst/rose garden and a few charms, strawberries, letter A, anchor.  

The intention is to practice so I can make a simple bracelet with loads of charms.  I am wanting to get more rubber bands, in the colours that match my clothes more.  Then, the ultimate bracelet will be made.

first field trip

hello baby

We celebrated my birthday a little late so we can spend it with my brother, sister in law and nephew.

I prepared Guinness Beef Stew, mashed potatoes and dark bread.

(Mashed potatoes is a deceivingly difficult side.  SIDE!  So much work for something seemingly instant-noodles-easy.)

My nephew had milk, of course.

Did I mention that it was his first official social event? Apart from doctor visits and his christening, he had never been out till today.  I'm so happy his first stop was our home :)

Change Request: Implemented

I love chinese sausage.  In Manila, people refer to it as Chinese Chorizo--it is the only reason I could think of why in my mind, that is what it is called.

chinese sausage pocket I made from scratch
(a loooong time ago)

My Mom would put this in Traditional Filipino dishes where you won't expect to find it.

I always loved finding one as I scoop food out of the serving dish to my very own plate.  Truth be told, I do dig for these treasures on specific dishes.

---

My husband is not into it.  Maybe, I can even say that he hates it.  

And hate is something that is not quite common to him.

---

When it comes to cooking, my husband pretty much lets me take the lead, he is most often happy with anything and everything I serve him.  

However, every time I mention wanting to recreate some of Mom's dishes--the ones where she introduced Chinese Sausage, he would say something along the lines of 'Chinese sausage isn't really one of my favourites'.  

Some days he would say sure, but because suggest against a dish is so rare with him, I end up making or planning for something else.

Compromise.

(He however, loves Spanish Chorizo.  We both do.)

---

A couple of weeks ago I wrote Chinese Sausage in our grocery list.  It wasn't a test or anything, I was just craving for it.  I was prepared to make two dishes, or have it as a side for myself.

Putting away the groceries, I was surprised when I saw the packet.  I had forgotten that I listed it out.

That Saturday, I was going to make proper fried rice.

I prepared the Chinese Sausage as a side, but at the last minute, just before we were about to eat, he asked me to mix it in--as if to say, he is giving me (or the chines sausage) a chance to change his mind.

That Saturday, I cooked what my husband now refers to as 'the best fried rice ever'.

While it was A LOT of work, but seeing the look on his face told me that it was well worth the effort.

---

Cooking a-simpler-version-of-the-best-fried-rice-ever (lacked some ingredients) earlier today, I asked him if he wanted me to add in some Chinese Sausage, he said that it was actually okay when cut to small pieces and mixed with rice.

Victory.

all by myself

My husband went away for a a few days and I was obviously left home alone.

It was interesting living alone for a while.

When I was living with my brother, him and my sister in law will often go on business trips and holidays, so it was not uncommon for me to be left alone, but with their helper, I wasn't really by myself except on Sundays when the helper took her day off.

So in this true living alone experience, what did I discover?

Some of these I already knew, but knowing and experiencing are quite often, not the same.

---

1. You end up with a refrigerator filled with too-little-for-one-meal portions of random food.
2. Having the tv on during mealtime doesn't feel intrusive.
3. Yoga practice at home seems more enticing than in the studio.
4. Watching American Ninja Warrior is not as much fun.
5. Dishes don't wash themselves (gasp).

zzzzebra

One of the first things we got when we got married was a cast iron grill pan, and while I love the char it puts on everything, it was just such a hassle to clean it after use.  It had not been touched since last year.  Sorry.

A month ago, I asked my husband if we could get an enamel coated cast iron grill pan--it will allow us to pimp our bread, meat, pepper, tomato--everything, without the hassle of getting our sink messed up. 

The rest is history.

suddenly, it's magic!

I like the stripes so much that for a moment I forgot just how much I hate, hate, hate, hate while bread!

(i keep saying) yes to my dress

I love the show Say Yes to the Dress.

I enjoyed watching it even before I was engaged, and continue to watch it now whenever I chance by it.

I sometimes catch myself smiling from ear to ear when I see the dress for the bride-to-be.

Sometimes when I watch it, I think about my wedding gown and how much I love it.  In fact, there are times when I watch our Same Day Edit / On the Day photo slideshow just to look at the dress I said yes to.

lace (applique) on tulle on lace on tulle

There are so many things I love about my wedding dress.

First is the colour.  I feel it looks old school without being costume-y.

I always wanted a dress that was cream-to-champagne, but I wouldn't have guessed that it would be champagne lace over ivory tulle over white lace over the lightest beige--almost gold base.

As a bonus the dress looks different depending on the lighting.  Some people asked me if I changed dresses during the reception because 'it looked like another dress'.

stickers?

I love the texture of the lace appliqué, there are even photos where it looked like 'floating lace'.

I had 'sleeves' for church and off it went just before cocktails.

party dress

I think what I love the most about my dress is that despite all the layers, the various colours, it is still a simple dress.

And I love that.

Simple.