MD

We usually hurt the people closest to us the most, simply because we are capable of it.

At least I do. And I am.

I thought of writing about intent. But maybe I'd just quote George Bernard.

Hell is paved with good intentions, not with bad ones. All men mean well.

This is me saying in so many words...

I'm sorry. I was selfish. Callous. And insensitive.

tonight tonight

I can't believe the last Tonight Show just aired.

My heart broke a little.

nothing

I apologize for singing the whole time.

I think it should be fine though, as midway through dinner, you started singing too.

Click here for the radio version.

favoritE

I was lying in bed after a very exhausting day (I did after all, lose my other phone, tidied my desk, comforted a friend over bowls of Sukiyaki and shortened my jeans), I was ready to fall asleep when a window popped-up.

Hello.

I think it has been roughly six years.

I got a few jabs. He claimed that he was playing Manny Pacquiao. I said he should quit, as he might just knock me out.

Chatting with him was well worth the puyat.

It is nice to know that despite the years, the distance, the things that happened, the things that are happening and the things that would never happen, we remain good friends.

company of packers

We are leaving our current location, and by the end of the week, we should have literally cleaned up our mess. The movers are due midday on Friday.

The room I share with Joyce (that sounds like we actually live in together!) is now almost empty.

The only things left are two coasters, a desk calendar and two pens--red and black. Everything else is packed, boxed and ready for pick up, thrown or set aside for me to bring home tomorrow.

Packing is hard work (especially when you are not dressed for it).

It's five. It's time. I'm thirsty.

(I did come in very early today to get things done as I anticipated the afternoon activity. Good thing too, as I had almost forgotten how productive I am before eight.)

cable (rice)

I am the only person in Singapore with an analog box.

My brother reminded me last week, "Tracy, go to Starhub. Pretty soon hindi ka na makakapanuod ng cable. Did you see the ad?", I did.

Kuya took down the box yesterday so I would be able to swap it.

This means that currently, I am the only person in Singapore without cable.

(It is funny how I don't really like to watch tv, but the minute that I find myself unable to watch tv, it is the only thing I could think about.)

i'm a monster

If I am to decide whether I am a monster or an alien, I think my answer is quite evident.

I can be jello. LOL.

Image from moviesmedia.

who is allan?

I repeat, who is Allan?

What was supposed to be lazy night hangout turned to be one of the feistiest service bashing sessions. Thank you to the surprise guest who came an hour off closing time.

The 4AM prosciutto salad was a surprise too. I refuse to think about the implication though.

Lesson learnt? A boy learned that if another boy sends you a SMS in the middle of the night, you should be well ready to cook corned beef.

No words.

Hahaha.

singingsappyrochness

Dude! One year na tayo!
I know, buko yung bida. Hahaha. (And yes, I know that this was not taken from the Tioman trip!)

I can't believe it has been a year since I really got to know Roch. Prior to our beach get away we met each other only twice.

The first time was while walking along Orchard road, the person I was with introduced us, she was such in a hurry so we were unable to go beyond "It was nice meeting you".

The next meeting was at a party where she complimented my shoes and I complimented her singing prowess.

After Tioman, our relationship was never the same.

So what should Roch expect from me this year? Well, I promise to ease up on the orange soda chaser.

Gerlie's Holland Album

Someone asked me for a link to Gerlie's photos. It is unfortunate that most of her stuff are just in her hard drive. Her recent Holland album is in Facebook, however it is only accessible to her contacts. Here is a thumbnail view of the album. Click on the image to enlarge.

weeping willow

Happy day! Gerlie sent me a photo she took in Holland, where she now lives. The email bore the word, emote. Hahahaha.

TWOsday

I can't believe I'm buzzed after two glasses of Chardonnay. It is not even 10 PM and I feel very sleepy already.

My friend tells me that white wine tends to affect me a certain way and that it is fairly consistent. I'm not sure what he means. If he means that I get sleepy, he is right. But that's true for red and rose too.

Walang point.

what is your height? really.

Since highschool, I believed my height to be 5'3". Whenever I was asked or whenever I accomplished forms, 5'3" it was.

When I started working, I did a physical exam. When asked for my height, I said that I was 5'3", the nurse looked skeptical and said she would need to verify. After I stepped into the scale and she adjusted the thingamajig, she said "I knew it. You are only 5'2"."

No, my life was not shattered, but I understood fully how it felt to live a lie.

Hahaha. Okay, it was not dramatic--at all, but I couldn't help but write that bit.

I did another physical exam yesterday, it was deja vu. But this time, the nurse said, "You know, you are actually 5'2.5"."

This got me thinking. Am I wrong about other things that I believe to be true?

Hahaha. Okay, it was not dramatic--at all, but I couldn't help but write that bit.

Deja vu.

how secure is your password?

A few years back, a friend asked me to open one of his social networking accounts for some reason that I can't remember now. I did ask him if he was sure as I would need his password. He said that it was fine, he would just change his password later.

I had a good laugh when he told me. I was sure it was a joke, but soon enough found out that he was dead serious. Pretty good password too if you ask me, catchy, a combination of caps, non-caps and numeric characters. Oh and it exceeded that 8-character minimum--by a full one place. It also didn't mean anything personal to him. At least I would like to think so.

In lieu of one of my favorite blogger's testimony that she would condone advances from a certain man--immortal. I think that was the term she used. Immortal. I would divulge the old password.

JhestH0n1

can't get by without you

I heard a familiar song today--at a kiddie party, of all places. It is probably the last place one would expect to have this in the background. I bet I'll be singing it well into next weekend. It's quite catchy. Happy singing :)

hung over

I'm lying in bed with my left hand over my forehead and my right hand typing. I'm thinking that it would be very convenient if I had some 100 plus--the lime one. Or the blue Gatorade. I'm distracting myself from my hangover by planning the 'absolut end'. We'll see what I'd think of to distract me the day after that gig.

absolut end

While running through my inventory, I came across a certain bottle.

And was suddenly reminded of how I got it. To be specific, who got it for me and when.

With these in mind, I'm thinking of a good day to open it.

Image from the absolut ads site.

malabo?

If you ask for someone's number and she says "Huh? Wag na.", she is not being malabo. She just doesn't want to give you her number.

spork

There is something horridly funny about sporks.

When I think of them, I grin.

When I read about them, I smile.

When I type spork, I chuckle.

When I chance upon them, I giggle.

When I talk about them, I laugh.

Image from thinkgeek.

line

I did it. I bought my first eyeliner.

I was pretty sure I would look like a raccoon after a few attempts. I was sooo wrong. I was able to apply properly on the first go.

As I type, my eyes are lined--even if I am wearing pantulog. Hahahaha.

Robert Adams

I was babbling about this photo over the weekend. Today seemed like the perfect time to post it. This is NOT his blog and he has NO INVOLVEMENT WITH teaching self inquiry. You can check out Artnet to see more photos.

hello there

It is a happy day when you open the ref to see a brick sized (a huge brick at that) dark chocolate waiting for you.

of life decisions and difficult laptops

(There is a chunk of text that should be here. I however, am suddenly unable to write.)

womanizer

Imagine how happy I was when a certain RN got me an audio file.

I felt like dancing! Of course I didn't as I don't dance.

Wom. Wom. Womanizer. Womanizer.

I know, luma na nga, still.

exciting lunch date with camille

(previously karma "camille yawn")

My lunch was just partially touched. Maybe it was the curry puff I had for breakfast.

In likelihood it was probably about the conversation I was having with a good friend. It had been so long since I really had a chance to have an extensive exchange with her.

So many things changed over the last eight years, yet I feel as if I know her still.

It is nice to talk to someone going through the same whatever-part-of-life-you-are-at as you. It was as if our thoughts meshed seamlessly.

I really wish I could write more but that would be over sharing. I over write, yes. Over share? No.

consistency

As I was backing up my photo files, I came across a series and noticed something.I like wearing white. Allain, on the other hand, prefers black.I like wearing all white. Allain, on the other hand, prefers all black.

singing in the movies

It was while waiting for Rod Stewart to come out to the stage someone mentioned that part of the movie Long Kiss Goodnight when Samuel L Jackson was singing in the car and Geena Davis corrected his lyrics.

I'm not talking 'bout THE LINEN,
And I don't want to change your life.
But there's a warm wind blowing,
The stars are out, and I'd really love to see you tonight.

On top of my head, if I need to cough out the lyrics, I would say COMMITMENT.

I know someone who insists that it is A MINUTE.

It is by the way, MOVING IN.

she said, she said

She mentions being spectacular at remembering lyrics.

I type I hope, I hope, I hope you clap your hands. Naka-mix.

She types I ho-hope ho-hope you clap your hands. Extended version.

We press enter the same time.

Stars.

TPT

When inquired about the condition of a friend who has been in the ICU for a long time, I was advised that she had TPT.

When I googled, this is what I hit.

TPT (condition): A thumb deformity where the thumb looks like a finger - it has three bones instead of the normal two. The hand appears to have five fingers instead of 4 fingers and a thumb.

I am pretty sure I got the wrong acronym.

who'd have known? me.

I was looking through some photos from 2007 when I chanced upon a certain game night folder. Some of the games, I'd rather forget, but I think the pictionary playing bit would remain one of the funniest ones I had ever participated in.

To illustrate (I am literally illustrating), let me show you the winning interpretation. Of course when I say winning it doesn't mean that my team won.

PSM looks at the card and writes (below)
Okay. It is a noun, one word with three syllables. He hesitates and draws a circle, a diagonal line and a vertical line. He crosses it off and tries a different approach.He draws a curved object. We scream "Banana!". He shakes his head. He draws a line on top, someone shouts "Banana Q!". He shakes his head again. He crosses off his drawing.He draws again. It is the same illustration as the one he just crossed out--only bigger. Our time is almost up. We shout random things. I think I threw in "Captain Hook", who cares if that is two words?And then time ran out. It was then that I realized what he was drawing. I cursed and pulled him away. I asked him it if was what I thought it was. He says that it was. Bummer.

At this point the other team gets the chance to steal the point. They get all excited and chatty as they really want that point. I could even hear someone saying "We should know this!". At one point J says to his teammates "Okay guys, at the count of three we shout the answer okay?".

One, two, three.

QUA-SI-MO-DO!

Hahahaha. Wtf.

I think they got fixated on the first illustration.

Answer: Astronaut.

sunday small talk

I headed to KFC for lunch. I was initially contemplating between a two piece original meal and a beef brisket soup with prawn pancake on the side at Din Tai Fung, but I was ravenous and couldn't be bothered with the long wait. So KFC it was.

I was able to secure a table--for four, even if I was eating by myself. It was the only free table, who am I to complain?

Of course almost instantly, a pair of chicken lovers came, and I let them share the table with me.

Then a 40-something woman came, pointing at the seat in front of me. I smiled and said she could take the seat. She smiled too then sat across me.

I could see her peeping into what I was having. I didn't mind.

Then it happened. She started a conversation. Bummer.

Below are not the exact words, but it is very much like how I remember it.

W: Nice ring. Is that a wedding ring?
T: (Wonders why she thinks it is a wedding ring as it is in the middle finger. Decides she is just trying to make conversation.) Thanks. No. It isn't.
W: So you bought it for yourself?
T: Ummm. Yeah. I did.
W: That is so sad. Poor you.
T: (Looks up then continues eating without saying anything.)
W: You are pretty, you know?
T: Thanks. God is kind, he made me look like my mom.
W: Do you have someone?
T: Like family? Or friends? Yes. And yes.
W: No. Like a husband, boyfriend. Or girlfriend.
T: (Thinks the girlfriend ad lib was amusing.) Nope.
W: But why? I was young and pretty once and I always had someone. You should have one too.
T: (Doesn't know what to say. Expects woman to talk about her glory days.) Noted.
W: I am serious. It would be a waste. You won't be beautiful forever.
T: (Wants to hit woman with a mallet.) I suppose there are good anti-wrinkle products out there.
W: (Looks puzzled.) Think about it.
T: Yeah.
W: One day you will wake up old.
T: (Tries very best to smile.) Yeah, like June 12.
W: (Looks confused.)
T: (Is happy woman finally shut up. Quickly eats the last of the chicken. Stands up to leave.) Got to go. Bye.

I should have gone to Din Tai Fung. I don't particularly enjoy talking to people I don't know, or those who do not interest me. I don't feel the need to talk to someone every chance I get.

I however, put some muscle into responding and keeping the conversation going with people I run into on Sundays.

Why Sunday? My reason? Well, in all likelihood these people never get to talk about random things to anyone at home and it is only on Sundays that they are free to socialize, of course they are excitable! With all these being said, I somewhat felt guilty that I didn't indulge her. I easily could have said "Wow. That is a life changing statement for me.", it would have made her day--week.

tinola night

So during lunch, Neneng asks me if I would be eating dinner at home tonight. I give is some thought and I said, I would let her know before six.

End of conversation.

Or at least I thought.

She goes ahead to say "Kase Trace may pang Tinola diyan eh. Yun sana ang lulutuin ko kung wala ka.". She stops. And then adds "Pero may iba pa naman pwede lutuin eh, may fish pa."

Hilarious.

I've decided to go out for dinner, so Neneng could have a Tinola night.

sitting there, listening and waiting

After too much to drink, I would say that everyone (from the party) had a story. I heard more than a few today.

I would admit that I refused to divulge anything, because quite seriously, I don't think there was any need (or want) to talk about myself.

I realized that it is not uncommon for someone to still be caught up with relationships that were and weren't. With my compromised ability to observe, I noticed that it is actually the fine details that didn't have the answers, hence the toilet hogging.

(I would also think about something else from this point onward if I hear the words fire escape.)

As I was sitting there, listening and waiting for each story to unfold, I couldn't help but think to myself should I get another piece of Arnold's chicken?.