have

As I walked to my workplace, pondering about the changes in my life--and self this year, a lady walks into my line of vision.

And upon "coming back to earth", I found myself staring at the tattoo on her nape.

It read: FAITH

bride's maid

Recent events had led me to think about why people decide to stop being friends, which paved way to something seemingly more relevant--do we ever stop being friends with someone?

I'd like to think we don't--under the premise of course that there is a certain level of friendship that qualifies the relationship of two people as never ending.

no ifs, no BATs

Just as i was preparing to go home on Thursday, I noticed something in my peripheral vision--something like a dark spot. As I had been a busy week, I thought my dizzy spells were at it again. Only...it happened again...and again.

It was when someone shouted "OMG! James, do something!" that I realised that it was not a blur in my vision. There was actually a bat inside the office!

I thought that was funny, then I came in today to see this.

desperate love

It is funny how desperate people do pathetic things.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror and felt hopeless.

I was sweating, late and without a hair tie.

I have more than a few black elastic bands lying around but this Wednesday, I couldn't find any! Not one!

I had no other choice, but do the unthinkable.

I took my cloth scissors, opened my sewing supplies, pulled out my fine garter, cut off a piece, knotted the ends, frowned, and used it to hold my ponytail.

Whatever works.

Sometimes, people do/condone piteous things because there is comfort in BAU.

bus card

I wasn't too happy when I tapped my wallet on the bus card reader and nothing was being read. Imagine my frustration when I opened my wallet and found out that I was missing my bus card. To make matters worse, the bus door had closed and the driver had started inching towards the traffic. I had to ask the driver to let me out. Fortunately, he didn't make a fuss out of it.

I made my way back to the nearest MRT station to get another bus card--shaking my head the whole time. I began to think of when I lost it.

I decided that it was that moment when I was in queue and one of my business cards fell off my wallet. Surely, my bus card must have fallen too. I was not too happy about the fact that there were so many people around but not one person pointed it out to me.

I was able to secure a card and get home without drama.

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When I reached home, emptied my bag to the bed so I can get rid of receipts, foreign coins and other things I needed to clear.

And what do you know, I found my missing bus card on top of the heap.

christmas cheer(s)

the flesh is weak

I have a feeling that this year, I wouldn't have that single entry that sums up the year that was. Instead, I'd have multiple entries standing as snippets of twelve months lived.

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The flesh is weak.

Don't take it literally, I don't cut. Or subject myself to physical pain to feel.

I also was not injured.

No. Of course it is not about getting physical!

It is, giving into a whim. For various reasons like it helped pass the time, you felt like it or that you were bored.

This year, I gave into a whim. I could have hurt some people. Or someone.

And while all is well that ends well, that thing would always be that thing.

almost perfect

If only my eyes are not throbbing and I didn't just come from the clinic, I would say that I love days like today.

Days wherein the busiest two way street in the country is empty...and pedestrians are seemingly (going) extinct.

point 1

What does this spot mean to me? Hmmmmmm. It stands as constant reminder that I was wrong and that I should learn how to trust people more. Independence is a wonderful thing, but it will not kill you to let others take care of you.

(not so) fun run

I had a pretty good Friday--except maybe for one minor thing. My tights got snagged by a protruding nail on the bench I sat on. Twice.

Luckily I was wearing a long top / short dress that hid the spots.

Just when I thought there is absolutely no way I could like an article of clothing more, something happens and life surprises me once again.

(meaning) between bites

I promised a friend we would makan what Singapore boasts of.

Our first stop, Laksa.

mister(s) right now

I know I should have stayed home and rested, but I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing two good friends from high school. (We also carpooled in college and continued to spend time together well after that.) I could honestly say that we have come a long way. I admit that I don't get to spend time with them whenever I go back to Manila--which is also not very often to begin with.
They flew in for the night race and since I am not fit to join them for that, I decided to spend the afternoon with them instead.
Lunch was at my favorite chicken rice (and ribs!) place. I over ordered--which (almost) never happens! Apparently their appetites are no longer as I remembered. My bad.

After lunch, we managed to do a little shopping. Okay, not really a little, it was more like...A LOT.

We had dinner at a dingy bar I frequent for the chicken wings. It was a fun day. With my condition, I had to pop antibiotics a couple of times in between of everything that was happening. Oh well.

There is awe in once again confirming that you never really lose your place in someone's life. Sometimes it is as if from a different angle, or point of view, but that space is meant only for you.

Today, I had a blast with Mister(s) Right Now.

in SINGness and heatlh

This is my third day skipping work this week. This stint is the longest I have had in a long time. Let us not forget of the two week gig in 2006 and that one week in 2008.

It was only in Singapore that I experienced a lot of things.

Walang Gana. I always thought people who claimed they couldn't eat were just acting up for attention. When I got braces, it didn't stop me from eating the same, when I got retainers, it did not stop me from eating the same, when I am ill, it never stopped me from eating the same--until 2006. For the first time in my life, I was unable to eat. I was hungry, very hungry, but I just couldn't eat. My body won't let me. I recovered from the flu 8 lbs lighter and just when I thought I could keep my health and new size, I gained it all back. Getting a size smaller is not worth not eating for two weeks against your will.

Meds Trauma. We all know that meds are meant to make us feel better and not to tickle the taste buds. We don't take meds because it taste good, we take meds because we have to. The taste had never been a problem for me--until the Singapore issue cough medicine! I don't know if you have tried it, but it is just terrible. The thought of it makes me feel squirmish. Knowing that I have to take it thrice a day makes me think I could scare my self back to health. How about now?

Rashes. The dermatologists did not figure out the cause. They just insist that it was an allergy. To what? No answer. Great. I don't have any allergies, I am never allergic to anything--except this mystery allergen. Only in Singapore. It had been active for around three months. I hope it remains dormant for the rest of my life.

Overactive cells. I noticed a mosquito bite on my thigh. Days later, it started to grow. I thought that it definitely couldn't be a mosquito bite. I self medicated with topical creams. It just grew more. After I had it checked, the doctors said that it was harmless but because it was growing so rapidly, they recommend it to be removed. What was it? A blood vessel cell that found itself on the surface of the skin and decided to multiply. Whoa.

Worn out soles. Okay, so this isn't health related. But I want to put it in anyways. It is only in Singapore that I have thrown out shoes because the soles had worn out. Seriously.

run (and fly)

I ran this morning. That's a good thing right? Well, not really.

The lift door was closing when I saw something dangling at shoulder level. It took me a second to realize that it was actually a lizard. It seemed like it was caught by the closing door not more than a few hours ago as it still looked... ummm, for the lack of a better term "fresh". I couldn't make out the head so it was probably pushed deeper into the door slits.

When the doors opened at the ground level, I dashed out never looking back.

(I probably grossed out everyone with the second paragraph, if it is any consolation, a mental picture is stuck in my head. I need a distraction.)

seven

I like eating out during Sunday afternoons, mainly because the busy eating places are empty. Think Clarke Quay and Holland V.

Today I went to Hooters where I ate 7 out of the 10 samurai wings.

As there were only one other table that was taken inside, I was for once, able to really look at the signages. There were two that I liked.

Warning: Blonde thinking.

and

Air contaminated with Hydrogen Peroxide.

Of course blonde jokes are not really very applicable to Asians, but these are still really funny.

five people you meet

during a downtime Saturday night...

1. Geographer
2. Alleged RRI Masters Degree (almost) Holder
3. Male Random Thing Specialist
4. Female Random Thing Specialist
5. Someone whose name you can't remember

(something catastrophic) something blue

I finally wore a top I had been wanting to wear for a long time (it beats me why I haven't).

It is our first day in our new office location. It is Monday. It is the perfect day for the top.

Maybe not exactly perfect.

I decided however, to forget that although it is very thin and one-third lace, it is after all, long sleeved, high collared.

I got to the office at nine, there was no one there except one colleague. I told him I haven't had breakfast and I was going out to get some. He said he'd go with me.

Where to go?

Ahhh. This is a tough one.

We ended up walking quite a bit--under the sun.

Breakfast was uneventful, but good. I love clam chowder.

The walk from the office was bad enough. The walk back was disastrous.

By the time we got back to the office I was ready to faint. Joyce said I looked really hot. I don't think she meant it in a good way.

I sat down and hurriedly let loose a few buttons down the back of my top. Any more delay and I could have totally blacked out. I couldn't breathe. I also felt like vomiting. The next few minutes were spent reclined, fanning and occasionally sipping water.

I am now feeling a bit better, but still not 100%.

If only I didn't have a meeting this afternoon, I would have gone home.

So much for my much anticipated top debut where I passed up on smokes, coffee, lunch and even after office drinks.

what is your height? really.

Since highschool, I believed my height to be 5'3". Whenever I was asked or whenever I accomplished forms, 5'3" it was.

When I started working, I did a physical exam. When asked for my height, I said that I was 5'3", the nurse looked skeptical and said she would need to verify. After I stepped into the scale and she adjusted the thingamajig, she said "I knew it. You are only 5'2"."

No, my life was not shattered, but I understood fully how it felt to live a lie.

Hahaha. Okay, it was not dramatic--at all, but I couldn't help but write that bit.

I did another physical exam yesterday, it was deja vu. But this time, the nurse said, "You know, you are actually 5'2.5"."

This got me thinking. Am I wrong about other things that I believe to be true?

Hahaha. Okay, it was not dramatic--at all, but I couldn't help but write that bit.

Deja vu.

she said, she said

She mentions being spectacular at remembering lyrics.

I type I hope, I hope, I hope you clap your hands. Naka-mix.

She types I ho-hope ho-hope you clap your hands. Extended version.

We press enter the same time.

Stars.

sunday small talk

I headed to KFC for lunch. I was initially contemplating between a two piece original meal and a beef brisket soup with prawn pancake on the side at Din Tai Fung, but I was ravenous and couldn't be bothered with the long wait. So KFC it was.

I was able to secure a table--for four, even if I was eating by myself. It was the only free table, who am I to complain?

Of course almost instantly, a pair of chicken lovers came, and I let them share the table with me.

Then a 40-something woman came, pointing at the seat in front of me. I smiled and said she could take the seat. She smiled too then sat across me.

I could see her peeping into what I was having. I didn't mind.

Then it happened. She started a conversation. Bummer.

Below are not the exact words, but it is very much like how I remember it.

W: Nice ring. Is that a wedding ring?
T: (Wonders why she thinks it is a wedding ring as it is in the middle finger. Decides she is just trying to make conversation.) Thanks. No. It isn't.
W: So you bought it for yourself?
T: Ummm. Yeah. I did.
W: That is so sad. Poor you.
T: (Looks up then continues eating without saying anything.)
W: You are pretty, you know?
T: Thanks. God is kind, he made me look like my mom.
W: Do you have someone?
T: Like family? Or friends? Yes. And yes.
W: No. Like a husband, boyfriend. Or girlfriend.
T: (Thinks the girlfriend ad lib was amusing.) Nope.
W: But why? I was young and pretty once and I always had someone. You should have one too.
T: (Doesn't know what to say. Expects woman to talk about her glory days.) Noted.
W: I am serious. It would be a waste. You won't be beautiful forever.
T: (Wants to hit woman with a mallet.) I suppose there are good anti-wrinkle products out there.
W: (Looks puzzled.) Think about it.
T: Yeah.
W: One day you will wake up old.
T: (Tries very best to smile.) Yeah, like June 12.
W: (Looks confused.)
T: (Is happy woman finally shut up. Quickly eats the last of the chicken. Stands up to leave.) Got to go. Bye.

I should have gone to Din Tai Fung. I don't particularly enjoy talking to people I don't know, or those who do not interest me. I don't feel the need to talk to someone every chance I get.

I however, put some muscle into responding and keeping the conversation going with people I run into on Sundays.

Why Sunday? My reason? Well, in all likelihood these people never get to talk about random things to anyone at home and it is only on Sundays that they are free to socialize, of course they are excitable! With all these being said, I somewhat felt guilty that I didn't indulge her. I easily could have said "Wow. That is a life changing statement for me.", it would have made her day--week.