miss pettigrew lives for a day

I can't seem to find a decent clip from the movie when Amy Adams sings. The embed links of the better ones are unavailable.

Check out this link. It is well worth a watch.

I'm posting an audio clip too.

I also recommend catching the movie. I have grown very fond of Amy Adams, it was also a bonus that the pie maker from Pushing Daisies plays leading man.

If I didn't care....

(true)blood test

I went to the clinic today as I just won't get back to 100%.

I went home with a few pills and two band aids--one on each arm. The doctor wanted to do some blood work.

We are still waiting for the results. I hope this isn't dengue. I feel reassured though because an enlightened one told me that people with dengue have rashes and are unable to appreciate online shopping. I'm safe :)

how do you miss?

How do you miss? Vague. What do I mean?

I miss....

How am I?

Exuberant. Nope. Not me. It would feel so fake, and I'd hate myself because it is just like lying.

Gone. No. I like to be wherever I am.

Quiet. Maybe. While I could be quite the conversationalist, I enjoy silence. Useless chatter aside, there would be very few people that I could truly talk to. Miss. In silence.

Thoughtful. Yes. Think mayo. Adam. After Jacks. Dancing. Shirt. Off.

inspiration vs infatuation

The race reminds me of an Alonso ING ad a from last year.
I don't know about you, but I think the director of the clip failed to brief the kid who got an autograph as to what his reaction should be.

can't hate, can't sleep

I want to nap. I can't. I had been tossing and turning the last half hour. Nothing. And it isn't like I am wide awake. My eyes are heavy, but it just won't go to the next level. Limbo.

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I had been looking into the mess that typhoon Undoy had left in the Philippines. There was one particular photo that is stuck in my head. The one from a place where something unpleasant has happened to me. I felt terrible.

As I was staring into the image, I was reminded of the happy times that I had spent there. There was none of the slightest anger or resentment. Beyond the real issues that are the lives, safety and future of the people affected lies very personally to me, letting go of a past life with remembrance of the goodness of that chapter.

mister(s) right now

I know I should have stayed home and rested, but I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing two good friends from high school. (We also carpooled in college and continued to spend time together well after that.) I could honestly say that we have come a long way. I admit that I don't get to spend time with them whenever I go back to Manila--which is also not very often to begin with.
They flew in for the night race and since I am not fit to join them for that, I decided to spend the afternoon with them instead.
Lunch was at my favorite chicken rice (and ribs!) place. I over ordered--which (almost) never happens! Apparently their appetites are no longer as I remembered. My bad.

After lunch, we managed to do a little shopping. Okay, not really a little, it was more like...A LOT.

We had dinner at a dingy bar I frequent for the chicken wings. It was a fun day. With my condition, I had to pop antibiotics a couple of times in between of everything that was happening. Oh well.

There is awe in once again confirming that you never really lose your place in someone's life. Sometimes it is as if from a different angle, or point of view, but that space is meant only for you.

Today, I had a blast with Mister(s) Right Now.

knowing

While watching I love you, man, I thought that the person playing Robbie was familiar. My friend insisted that it was only because he looked like Ryan Agoncillo (why do they say everyone looks like Ryan Agoncillo?). Personally, he reminds me of Jason Biggs, but that is beside the point. I knew for a fact then that I had seen him somewhere before.

Today I was re-acquanted with SNL's, D*ck in a box. And then I knew. It was him! Robbie! Well, Adam Samberg actually. Mystery solved.

He was also in the SNL Single Ladies stint :)

Image from mtv.com

in SINGness and heatlh

This is my third day skipping work this week. This stint is the longest I have had in a long time. Let us not forget of the two week gig in 2006 and that one week in 2008.

It was only in Singapore that I experienced a lot of things.

Walang Gana. I always thought people who claimed they couldn't eat were just acting up for attention. When I got braces, it didn't stop me from eating the same, when I got retainers, it did not stop me from eating the same, when I am ill, it never stopped me from eating the same--until 2006. For the first time in my life, I was unable to eat. I was hungry, very hungry, but I just couldn't eat. My body won't let me. I recovered from the flu 8 lbs lighter and just when I thought I could keep my health and new size, I gained it all back. Getting a size smaller is not worth not eating for two weeks against your will.

Meds Trauma. We all know that meds are meant to make us feel better and not to tickle the taste buds. We don't take meds because it taste good, we take meds because we have to. The taste had never been a problem for me--until the Singapore issue cough medicine! I don't know if you have tried it, but it is just terrible. The thought of it makes me feel squirmish. Knowing that I have to take it thrice a day makes me think I could scare my self back to health. How about now?

Rashes. The dermatologists did not figure out the cause. They just insist that it was an allergy. To what? No answer. Great. I don't have any allergies, I am never allergic to anything--except this mystery allergen. Only in Singapore. It had been active for around three months. I hope it remains dormant for the rest of my life.

Overactive cells. I noticed a mosquito bite on my thigh. Days later, it started to grow. I thought that it definitely couldn't be a mosquito bite. I self medicated with topical creams. It just grew more. After I had it checked, the doctors said that it was harmless but because it was growing so rapidly, they recommend it to be removed. What was it? A blood vessel cell that found itself on the surface of the skin and decided to multiply. Whoa.

Worn out soles. Okay, so this isn't health related. But I want to put it in anyways. It is only in Singapore that I have thrown out shoes because the soles had worn out. Seriously.

trust agenda

Recently, I had been asked at work what Trust Agenda meant to me. While it takes a second to think about and decide what it translates to, it takes a much longer time when it comes to its application in my personal life.

While I trust in people, I find that lately I have trouble trusting my trust in people.

No. It isn't paranoia. I think it is over application of lessons learnt.

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After much ado, I realized that it was not trusting that got me the first time. It was failure to recognize changes. No wait. It wasn't that too. It was, failure to acknowledge changes.

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It is funny how it takes a company campaign for me to re-evaluate one of the hardest lessons I learned.

remedy

I had been suffering for a while now, my very sore throat just won't recover.

My colleagues advised me of a Hongkie remedy. Warm Coke (as in coca cola) with lime.

It is weird right? I was sure I was not gonna try it out, so I started joking about using Coke Light as that was what we have at home. They said they were not sure. We had a good laugh then moved on to the next topic.

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Today, I lost my voice. Seriously. I couldn't sing Katy Perry stuff!

I had finished my second bottle of Pei Pa Koa and lost count of the lozenges I had taken. I was desperate.

I thought that there really wasn't anything to lose. I didn't even bother to google it. I headed to the kitchen.

I opened our ref and found not Coke, not Coke Light but Coke Zero. There was also an absence of lime or calamansi, we however had lemon.

I poured the entire can into a glass, squeezed the lemon--and off to the microwave it went.

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It didn't taste weird at all. It felt funny in my mouth and throat though. It was warm, bubbly and tangy. It was--interesting. It also relieved my throat. Of course it might be psychological--or, divine intervention as I was praying for a break through.

Maybe I should do a bit of research.

proverbial

A friend told me today that I was a living proof that love is blind.

I was baffled.

So I asked if it was because she didn't think a certain person was attractive. Of course, that was a joke. I however, seriously didn't get what she meant.

So I asked her to elaborate.

She said that it was because I endured the troubles of a relationship past and literally did not recognise the errs of the then present.

At some point I decided that such was the right thing, and all my actions from then on followed through.

I was not blinded by love, rather I was compelled to work towards a goal blindly.

I was never ever one to reason "because I love him" or argue "but, I love him". While I loved with all that I was capable of at that time, I don't think it was (blind) love that allowed things to progress. It was...well, a carrot.

you're too good for her

I saw an article that read Top 10: Signs You're Too Good for Her, and because I had a good laugh out of it, I am sharing the ones I liked.

No.10 - You're always dumbing down conversations around her

And it's not just her -- it's her entire social universe. Her friends, her family and her coworkers all seem to have an extremely limited vocabulary, one that contains more four-letter expletives than a U.S. Army boot camp. If your cat can match her wit, it’s one of the signs you’re too good for her.

No.9 - She f*cks like a porn star

Sure, we all have those fantasies, but if your woman is taking you into uncharted territory that has serious repercussions for personal safety, there's a good chance it's a sign you're too good for her. No limits or boundaries in the intimate sphere means serious problems with self-respect and control in general. Sure the sex will be mind-blowing, but you’ll never know where she’s been or even how she learned her maneuvers, which can only mean one thing…

No.3 - She is devoid of natural curiosity

The universe is a strange and mysterious place. Every day you come across phenomena that nearly cry out for further explanation. At least you thought so, until you met your current girlfriend. If you've been together for a while and you've never heard her mention travel or a book she has read, you're in trouble. Conversations based upon first-hand experience from your day are both powerfully limiting and dull.

No.1 - Her best asset is her looks

Relationships are a growing concern. You're supposed to find other qualities that endear her to you beyond the initial physical attraction. If you haven't found anything like that and in fact have found many qualities that the good looks are covering up for, then you're too good for her. You need to move on and find someone else. If you don't, you're selling yourself short. Strike out in a new direction and find someone who is both physically attractive as well as your equal or better in the other 98% of life.

marketing

It was my first time to go to a Malay--or Muslim Market today. I am not sure what to call the market but I was advised by my local companions that the market was put up in lieu of the Hari Raya.

It was too bad that my Malaysian colleague was not able to make it, it would have made bargaining so much better. Oh well, maybe next year.

The street food was not bad although I admit that I was a bit cautious as I can't shake off the thought of the poisoned rojak. I think most of the vendors felt the same way though, there was not one rojak stall in sight.

I am glad that I went despite the fact that I had a slight fever all day.

lucubration

Lucubration is dictionary.com's word of the day. It means laborious work, study, thought, etc., especially at night.

While this is handy when playing Scrabble or Bookworm, I don't think I will be using this word much. Think mastication (chewing).

Unless of course, I'm a certain BOY blogger. Thanks Camille for sending :)

oh my love

I was reorganising the songs in my iPod, so I decided to listen to a couple of full albums. Let me enumerate:

1. Coldplay Singles 1999 - 2008
2. Duffy Rockferry
3. James Morrison Undiscovered

I am suddenly feeling very melancholy. Somebody save me. Hahahaha.

(Blog entry title to commemorate Patrick Swayze's cinematic moment that was Ghost. RIP.)

last round

When all was done with on our Friday night, I looked forward to going home. After all, it was not only a very long week for me but also a terribly long day at work.

I was sure I had more than enough--food, drinks and babblings.

Imagine my surprise (and delight) when one of us came out of the convenient store with four bottles of Snapple and started distributing. Incidentally, I got my favorite variant.

It was, as he said--the last round.

While I had been steering away from this stuff as I'd rather save the sugar intake for other drinks--or food, it was a welcomed gesture.

Quite nostalgic, the taste reminds me of my bum days spent with my best friends, the twins and other friends from high school.

Image from Snapple.com

same time LAST year

I know that it isn't about me but, just maybe there are bits that resonate last year's news.

To get to the point, I would just like to express my happiness brought about by your decision.

I know, you think I am biased. And that I didn't really recognize your latter. The truth is, I thought it was high time for you to be. Without worry, without restriction, without guilt, without hesitation, be. BE.

And now you can :)

missing N

I remember writing a blog about using alanga naman, instead of alangaN naman for the longest time. Which quite frankly was stupid, as there is no such word as alanga in Tagalog. Alangan on the other hand means not quite right, awkward or not without doubt, depending on how it is used.

Why am I writing about this? Because a certain someone reminded me that I used to say it wrong and that it seems like that entry is lost. I wanted to say "ALANGAN naman na-erase by itself?", but I have reached that point wherein I choose my battles.

follow up

P: How did you pronounce "punong braso" before today?
T: I've always pronounced it the same. POO-NONG BRAH-SOH.
P: So you now that you know the correct term, how do you pronounce it?
T: The same, but with a B. BOO-NONG BRAH-SOH.
P: You got it wrong. It should be BOON-ONG BRAH-SOH. It isn't a long O.

(I refuse to write any more about this)

full arms?

I was talking to someone about project prioritisation wherein I made a comment about the business having to somewhat 'metrically' arm wrestle to get mandays allocated to their initiatives. For emphasis, I said "PUNONG BRASO talaga".

I was corrected.

BUNONG braso.

Buno = Wrestle

Braso = Arm

Just great. I had been saying it wrong my whole life.

spiral

No matter how many times we go over it, the ending is always the same. We disagree.

The big question is, why is it seemingly impossible for us to agree to disagree on this one?

two lovers

I chose to post this version of the movie poster as it doesn't give anything of the movie away.

Joaquin Phoenix's acting MADE the movie for me, I could not help but feel for his character. It is amazing how we can sometimes recognise fragments of lives, traits, habits, even decisions--both ours and of those close to us when we pay close attention.

I would like to write more but I think a certain someone might accuse me of putting out spoilers--which is weird because that is the last thing I would do. And in the cases wherein I do, I give ample warning, or ask permission. (I just overwrote again.)

"bowling"

Colleagues from the same floor that I am at have organised an unofficial bowling night. While I feel that it is a good opportunity to hang out with them outside of work and I am for camaraderie, I can't help but half smile to myself.

Bowling.

misses

I'm down with something a little less than a flu for a few days and while I know I have to take meds, there is a part of me that feels I shouldn't.

I missed a get together yesterday.

I would miss a supposed, planned-in-my-head auntie thing tonight.

And I think I better miss the after office drinks tomorrow.

I hope three misses would be enough rest for me to enjoy the weekend.

I

It has been a year. One year. Maybe to someone out there, this isn't the date, but to me it always has been.

There would be days that I feel it has been so long ago, other days, I still can't believe a long time has passed since.

Most days, it feels so far away. Like a story from childhood. Like summer vacations spent biking along paved roads over hectares of wild grass meant to be lots for young families who had decided to live in the south. The South.

I have changed so much the last year. Welcomed changes thrust by decisions made.

My feelings about why I was driven to that decision changed too, as time progressed. If you ask me now, what I think happened, my answers wouldn't match. I guess time has a way of making one see more clearly. It is true what they say about looking at the bigger picture, little would have I known that it would lead me to getting to know myself more.

I'm not sure if the reasons really matter now.

How do I end this entry? Maybe by saying that I am thankful. For things that happened, for things that did not happen. For loved ones who were there, for loved ones who were not there. For Love. And Love Lost.