these socks!

I had already gotten my wedding shoes. 

I got it online.  I guess at this point, you'd know what I'm leading to.

I think that it is truly the perfect shoes, only it is quite small :(

It had stretched out a little bit already as I can now get my right foot in and wear the shoes around for an hour--with sports socks.

I still have ten months to go and I am hoping by then, it would have stretched out enough that I could (relatively) comfortably wear if for a full day.

I hope I'm not wishing for a miracle.

----

Yes, I'm wearing it now.  With socks.

DaVao

Caged by all the wedding preparations that need to be finalised before everyone breaks for the holidays, I have neglected my blog.

I had been writing a lot though.  I had been up to my neck creating packs for my wedding coordinator, photographer and wedding gown designer.

It is interesting how despite the fact that I feel planning a wedding is a chore and that I'd rather escape all the hardwork and elope, I actually enjoy picturing our big day's look-and-feel.  It helps I guess, that my fiance  and myself have similar views on most wedding related details. 

I don't really talk too much to other people about wedding options, only because each person has a vision of what is beautiful--or ideal.  I guess that's true for most things, not only weddings.  And I don't want to bother having to seemingly defend my choices :) 


Here, I would ecstatically agree to disagree.

I do update my Mom because I know how much she loves to get involved and she had always been someone very supportive and keen to help on anything that would ease any load or would make things more convenient for me.  I also look forward to the extra bonding time with her.

---

What am I most excited about? 

The vows :) 

I actually have a very rough draft in my head of what I want to say to my future husband and I almost can't wait to pen it down.

From a strict planning perspective, I don't know the right time to start writing it.  Though I am very much organised, it is actually the first time in my life that I bought a planner.  I used the wedding as an excuse, but the reality is that when Moleskine came up with a Little Prince 2013 planner, I wanted one.

Maybe I'd randomly flip though and where I catch a page, I'll set as my vows drafting date.

so 'there'

It has been a few weeks but somehow everything still feels so new to me.  

Every time I remember though, I feel my heart somewhat jump.  I know it sounds horribly corny, but it's true.

I oftentimes forget that we are engaged then something comes up like being called a fiancé,  a mention of something wedding related, or receipt of a best-wishes-message--then I’m there again.

will you...

We went to Phuket, to an off island that was incidentally also the place we went to for our first holiday by ourselves. 

On the second day, I was lounging by the beach eating Salt and Vinegar Lays lost in thought about what I’d have for lunch.  It would be pretty much lunchtime for us when he comes back from our cottage. 

---

I look up to see that he was back.

He walks towards me and sits by my side. 

He pauses there and looks at me. 

Looks at me. 

Looks. 

As he leans forward, he says ‘I love you’ then kisses me.  

He pulls away just a little, but keepsclose.

Looking. 

He brushes away rebellious strands of hair from my face.  Keeping close.

Silence. 

Smiles.

Looking.

He quietly says ‘Will you marry me?’.

I look at him.

I look.

At him.

 ‘Did he just propose?’, I asked myself.  In my mind, ‘Did he just propose?’.

Heart racing.

And as if he read my mind, the way he can seemingly do.  He asks again.

Slowly. 

As if allowing a moment for each word to resonate…

Will you marry me?

I feel a tear roll down my eye.

Yes.

Another tear.  On my cheek. 

My cheek.

Smile. Cry.  Feel.

Breathe. 

Smile. Feel.

Breathe.

Look. See. 

Be.

We embrace. 

We stayed there for a while—holding each other.

Breathe.

He pulls away and says ‘Even without a ring?’

Right. The ring.  I didn’t even realise… 

Yes.  Even without a ring.

We embrace some more.

Be.

Hold.

Eyes closed.

He releases his embrace and turns his back at me. 

I have something for you.

Water, I thought. He always brought me water.  He knows.  He knows I’m always thirsty.

Facing me, he opens a box facing me.

Facing me.

I look.

Floored.  I was floored. 

He takes it out of the box and I reach my right hand out to him--suddenly aware that not only was it dusted with salt and vinegar flavouring, I was also wearing carnation colored nail lacquer—not exactly my classiest choice.

‘Left’ he says smiling, reaching for my other hand. 

I reach out my left hand to meet his halfway. 

Touching. 

 ‘I researched’ he adds.

He puts the ring around my finger.

Perfect.  It fit perfectly.

Like his hand with mine.

And we stayed there. 

His hand with mine.

---

We’re engaged.  October 20, 2012.

I thought I’d write about the proposal since the first thing most people seemed to ask was ‘how did he propose?’ and what I’ve said was 'wait'. I knew I'd write about it.  And probably, that would be the best way for me to tell the story.

Meat Pie

I had been wanting to bake a pie for a couple of weeks now.  I knew I was going to make a pie crust from scratch but I was torn between making a fresh fruit filling or selling out and getting the filling in can since my pie crust recipe is not a tested one. 

The more I thought about it, the more buying canned filling didn't seem like a good idea.  I mean there is nothing wrong with buying ready made stuff--it's just that I bake to learn so I didn't really have to think more about the filling.

---

I kept going through my a litany of fruit and fruit combinations for my filling.

In the end, I decided on a meat pie. 

---

I needed to get a pie pan, when I went to the store there was one on sale--a heart shaped one.

I'm not really a heart-shaped-pie kind of person, but as I didn't want to pay five times more for the round one--the heart came home with me.

---

Inside my pie would be onions, beef, potato, carrots seasoned with salt and pepper.

beef on a bed of onions

Of course I could not close the pie without throwing in chunks of butter.

"I need closure"

I decided to do the classic crisscross pattern.  And as I'm not happiest with my pan shape, I thought I'll go extra corny.  I put a heart where the heart of the heart ought to be.

can you say 'tongue and cheek'?

I might not be too happy about the pie shape, but when the pie came out--I was ecstatic :)

home is where the 'heart' is

I love how golden the crust was.

---

I had to leave for yoga class right after the pie came out of the oven, so I was not able to take photos of the sliced pie using my camera.  The next two are mobile photos.

open heart surgery

 How do you properly divide a heart shaped pie?  No idea.

late lunch

I love how the crust was flaky and creamy--melt-in-your-mouth creamy!

I can't wait for my parents to visit, I will definitely make some for them to try :)

i heart meat pie

corn dog

What is essential is invisible to the eye.  

I read that from The Little Prince.  I am sure he was not talking about corn dogs, but I believe the same is true for corn dogs.  No matter how great the batter, the meat is really the meat.  

I bought spicy Italian sausages.  They were looking a bit square--literally after I got them out of the chiller, but after they had warmed up, it was apparent that they were quite well rounded.  Not unlike some people. 

who are you calling chicken?

I was a bit nervous about the sticks.  While I didn't want the puny ones that may break or seem like it would break.  The ones I got were quite dangerous.  I mean, I seriously was reminded of stakes hammered into vampire hearts in some old movies.

not a toy

The length and width was perfect for the stubbly sausages that I got.

ready for wardrobe

The dough?  Oh the dough.  I hope it would turn out well worth the drama.

golden ribbon

I enjoy working with dough--but this was extra extra fun!

I wrapped the strip all around the sausage, tucking and stretching and pinching where I need to.  

"what are you all looking at?"

After I had wrapped all six, I had some extra dough, so I decided to put a little extra on the corn dogs too!

It was the perfect time to use my brand new cookie cutters!

pimped

Now, I anticipated that the details would make the corn dogs cuter, but I didn't expect them to look as cute as they did coming out of the oven.

Really.

REALLY.

BEAR with me

The contrast of the animals made me gasp.  Maybe I even clapped a little ;)

bunny Wabbit

 

the gang

How did it look inside?

Well...

Tada!!!!

not bad at all

Of all the things I've baked, I think this one is really the one I was most happy about the end result.

where's the party?

corn muffin

So I am posting the corn muffin photos first, only because there are less of them than that of the corn dogs.

everything yellow--so far.

I love that the first few ingredients thrown together were all yellow-ish.  It made my Sunday morning, if plausible--even brighter :)

I got the recipe online that promised to yield what is being sold at a chicken place--one I would frequent only for the corn muffins.  The chicken was pretty good, but it was never really the attraction for me.  I remember buying half a dozen to go last year, only to have eaten two even before I got home.

This was the real reason I bought the corn meal.

---

Mixing everything was easy enough, but the batter was so sticky that I had trouble keeping the side of the cups clean.  

I mitigated the situation by wiping the rims but I could only do so much--as a result my muffins were orbited by burnt brown batter.

muffin olympics

The verdict?

It did come out similar to the ones sold at the chicken place, only these had a richer texture--moist.  It still had the grainy feel without being dry.  It also was more buttery.

I loved how these turned out! :)

I'd be mindful next time though when I bake because I anticipate that these would benefit with a little more salt on days that I need something savoury.

same time next week? :)

I'm knead-y

I had finally found a grocery that carries corn meal! 

One would be surprised on just how many didn't.

---

My original plan was to make corn muffins--and that will happen, I know.  My craving got in the way. On Friday I couldn't stop thinking of corn dogs.    

I have not seen any store selling it where I live--that seems strange.  MAYBE it's because I never really looked.

I got myself some Italian sausages, sturdy sticks, wholemeal flour and I was ready to make some serious yellow dough.

---

I was happily mixing, talking, laughing and kneading--excited of what the end product would become.

The dough seemed to feel different, like it needed more liquid.  More kneading.

 Then it felt like it needed more flour.  More kneading.

Then I thought I should give it a rest.

I put it aside to rise. 

---

One hour later,  I came back to check.

OH MY GOD.

It was as if time stood still.  NOTHING happened to my dough.  It looked exactly like it did when I left it.  If only, it looked dry.

I googled my way to a workable solution.

I read that it may be due to the temperature so I placed the dough in warm-er place.  Waited 15 minutes.  Nothing.

I read that you can potentially steam the dough.  I did.  Waited 15 minutes.  Nothing.

I read that I could revive it by adding yeast dissolved in liquid and more flour.  I did.  Believe me when I say that all this time I felt like a doctor pumping someone's chest waiting for a break on the flat line.  Kneading.

I did that.  Nothing.

Not happy.

I was really frustrated, but I had to remind myself that things like this happen and there is a lesson to be learnt here.

That did not stop me from throwing away the dough though.  I did find out later on that I could use this dough for crackers.  Too late.  Too stubborn.    I hate that I threw it away because I really don't like wasting food.  It is wrong.  I was wrong.

---

It was late, but I was determined.

I whipped out another batch, this time careful not to add too much liquid or flour and kneading only for a couple of minutes.

I read that over kneading makes stubborn dough.  A dough can only take so much pressure  :)

And what do you know?  My lovely dough rose!

---

I love happy endings.

banana muffin / cupcake

Looking through my baking supplies, I found the self raising flour that didn't rise.  I thought, I should make muffins again, but this time I'd correct my past mistake and put in the baking powder and/or soda the recipe required--treating the annoying flour as if it was ordinary flour.

ba na na

I love bananas.

I however HATE banana flavour--for me it tastes like medicine.  Not that it is relevant to today's post.

Naturally, it was the first thing that came to mind when I thought muffins.

therapy

My self raising flour frustration came in handy as I mashed three bananas into a bowl.  Breathe.  Let go.

on one hand...

I decided to split the batter into two.  Six, I put in a mix of white and dark chocolate chips, the other half I made plain so I can top with icing--so I can use up the icing I had on hand.

done!

hello

plain

sunny side up

 You'd notice some crystals.   I added three kinds of sugar--white, brown and raw sugar.

I had been thinking where I could use the raw sugar that I got--especially as I hardly drink coffee. I thought it would bring some texture into baked goods.

Maybe I'll make coffee cake :)

what is important is what's inside

They still look homemade, but I'd say an improvement from last time :)

 

sea sponge look-a-like

parsley calzone

I had been thinking of calzone all week. 

In the end, I decided to put a handful of parsley into the dough.

I love how it smelt.  It didn't hurt that it looked pretty appetising too.

makes me think of summer

What was inside?

"sides"

I wanted to make this calzone more well rounded than last time.  For the side, I had shitake mushrooms, tomato and spinach cooked in olive oil with some salt and pepper.

For the main, each calzone had a piece of rosemary chicken breast.

star of the show

I cut the chicken into smaller, more manageable pieces.

party

"my lips are sealed"

Off to the oven.  

Adam and Eve -- my first two

As I had learnt my lesson last time on sealing--and the amount of fillings, there were so leaks on any of the four that I made.

my favorite part

I especially love the edges--they are very crunchy and remind me of garlic sticks :)

i'm on the edge

I restrain myself from finishing the edges right away as it would make eating the calzone impossible without a mess--so I save it for later instead.

I ate half of out giant thing for breakfast--making sure there was a good two hours before my yoga class.

utensils optional

The other half I ate after yoga class.  Between sun salutations, I couldn't stop thinking of my other half  patiently waiting for me.

invisible monsters

I had just finished Hunger Games and the two other books in the trilogy.  The first was a quick and easy read, it was entertaining too--I do enjoy young adult books every now and then.

The second book was not as good.  I forgave the author thinking that middle books are quite tricky because the story needs to develop, but really it is there to set the stage for the final book.

The third book, that was the problem.  It was quite a task to finish.  I couldn't wait for it to be over.  Twists just came one after the other--in a licorice kind of way.  It just felt fickle.  Too fickle--even for a book for an adolescent.

Katniss, I think is a better Bella.  But still a Bella.  I'm sure you get what I'm trying to say.

Can you blame me for expecting more?  Maybe. 

---

Like a bad taste in my mouth, I wanted something sweet so I scanned my ebooks for my next read.

It took a while for me to decide as it is quite a long list. 

Chuck Palahniuk. He is the writer behind the book that brought about of one of my favorite movies of all time, Fight Club.

While I haven't read Fight Club but given its storyline, I felt reading the other books has a low risk of being total waste of time.

I stopped myself from googling the chosen book--because I hate accidentally reading wrong reviews.  As in, not a wrong--not right review.  But reviews that give too much away.  Because I want to make up my mind about it before taking in what others think.  I told myself I'd do that after I'm done reading. 

---

I read Invisible Monsters. 

I love how the book read.  Perhaps Fight Club was written this way as well.

I can almost imagine watching it.  I could see every frame.  It was, in my head a screenplay.

The book debuts with the main characters in a curious scene and then moves back and forth and back and forth revealing what happened that lead to the the opening scene.  It does eventually catch up with the opening scene then moves forward.

If you're familiar with Fight Club, you'd probably know that there would be a twist.  Maybe a few.  But not in a Mocking Jay kind of way.

That is not a spoiler.  I don't think.

---

(Okay, I literally googled just now.  It looks like the movie is coming up in 2013.  There is not much info available to non Pro IMBD users.  I am giddy.  Too excited.  I WANT TO SEE IT.  NOW.)

---

Currently halfway through Choke. 

Maybe after that I'd do Fight Club.  The book.  Not the act.

Dark Chocolate and Sea Salt

This is really what started it all.

inspiration

I tasted the Lindt Dark Chocolate with Sea Salt.  For the last two days, whenever I close my eyes at night, I remember biting into a piece of...heaven.  I don't want to seem too dramatic, but really--it's that good.

I ate the whole bar right there.  I'm a sinner.  Sorry body.

---

Looking through the pantry I found a pack of self raising flour that I bought by mistake and decided I should use it up.  So I decided that I'd make muffins.

I read that if you use this kind of flour, you should skip the baking soda and baking powder--even salt because they are already added in.  I knew I'd put salt in still through because clearly, that was the inspiration.

use me

I googled for recipes and found Double Chocolate Chip and Yogurt.  I would need to change it up a bit, but at least it would have the  chemistry all worked out.

---

I didn't have yogurt.

So, I mixed milk and vinegar.  It didn't churn.  Great.

I added two small limes--calamansi and then I got some results.

i love how the wet stuff look together

I am quite nervous about this one.  Really.  I am substituting/adding/removing too many things!

chaos

Give me bitterness.  Dark Chocolate.

Give me sweetness.  White Chocolate.

Give me saltiness.  Errr... Sea Salt.

---

I put more dark chocolate that what the recipe called for--around 50% more.  White chocolate was nowhere in the recipe too.  I put half the dark chocolate amount.  Going to gooey here :)

---

Fast forward to how it turned out after baking.

By inspection, not good :(

Booooo.

THE SELF RISING FLOUR DIDN'T RISE.

stunted

The muffins were compact.  The only redeeming factor was that a star, one STAR came through.

a champion

I was worried that I wasted all the ingredients.

After a deep breathe, I tasted one.  Not the star.  It was there as a sign of hope.

excuse a MOIST

It was soooo moist.  And good.  I love how all the flavors came together!

It actually tasted of lava cake.  

So maybe the self raising flour didn't perform--but the rest of the team compensated.

I got my happy ending.

mushroom++ calzone

I was waiting all week to have a chance to make calzone.  The successful pizza making was more than inspiring to work with dough more.

I knew it was going to be mushrooms inside but I wasn't sure what else to put inside.  I even consulted my mom and went back and forth the aisle waiting for inspiration.

chop chop chop

Mushroom and onions with cheese.  Mushroom and rosemary chicken.  Mixed mushroom and cheese.  Mushroom with spinach.  Maddening.

sorry Smurfs

I decided I'd make a few different kinds--it gave me an excuse to to try them all!

I knew the first one was going to have tomato inside.  So I made a tomato sauce with garlic, some herbs and topped that with mushroom and mozzarella.  Nothing too exciting, this was my standard.

expected

Rolling the dough came much easier than last time, now that I have a somewhat proper rolling pin versus a long fatter-than-the-usual chopstick used to stir fry.

No eggs left because I used them all up so I glazed with olive oil.

to me, that looks like a smile.  really.

My first calzone had some leakage issues, but I must say it looked pretty good for a first.

early lunch

 Obviously, I had to taste it so I can adjust the next batch.  I actually made four.

Straight out of the oven it was really warm, the cheese mad melted, the bread tasted good, the texture was perfect, it was soft and firm where it ought to be.  I AM KEEPING THIS DOUGH RECIPE.

It was really more than I could have hoped for.  I had tasted the filling prior to the calzone baking so I knew what to expect but with the melted cheese and the fresh-out-of-the-oven smell.  I was blown away. 

I have the feeling I'd be making calzone more and more.  And more.  And more.

So for the experimental filling.  I chose to localise it.  Chinese Sausage.  Yes.  With Mushroom.

this seems crazy (fat)

I sliced them and cooked until the fat became translucent.

polka dots

No one really describes the cooking time that way.  They'd say, oh I cooked it for x minutes or I cooked it till the oil from the sausage came out but no one says I cooked it until the fat became transparent.

skinny

I rolled a little thinner this time and made a rectangular shape--for no other reason but that I wanted to try it out.  

The break part came out really crispy--the sides were practically garlic sticks.  LOVE.  I am not sure which I like better, so I'd probably make both again next time.

dessert

While I was so full from eating half of the first calzone, I ended up having another giant half.  Because I couldn't stop myself.