from D to something else

What's that?

It is a half moon (vertical orange wedge shape) found at each side of my pants.

It is funny how I know if I had eaten too much based on this. Sun dial?

Obviously, whenever I over eat--my stomach expands. And well, my pants needs to adapt.

Just like that, both sides, the half moon turns into and inverted rainbow. An ark even. Or... a smile! Now that I think about it, yes. A smile.

As if the pants is expressing appreciation for the hearty meal ;)

dating.com

No idea if there is such a site. I'm not really endorsing a particular one.

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I just read an article in The New Yorker about online dating. Well, it really isn't dating online because you date in person, isn't it? But merely get contact information online.

It talks about the various sites and how they do the matching. It is an interesting piece really.

It is quite similar to what I do. No. Not matchmaking. Sometimes, I need to interview people and based on that, publish my finding to help the business make decisions. I also find correlation.

Obviously, the site takes these findings further and turn them to weighed business rules to perfect the matching algorithm.

It would be interesting to work for these sites.

I bet UAT will have a life of its own.

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We--my ex colleagues and myself once, in a drunken conversation talked about setting up a site solely for breaking up. We even bought a couple of web addresses on the spot.

The next day, we were back looking into the medical software. How exciting.

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I once had dinner with a friend who was was wanting to meet someone.

So I asked her about her other activities and people she meets.

To make a long story short, she is out there but is just not meeting anyone who interests her. Not even uninteresting ones from a certain demographic.

I casually suggested going to a dating site. She looked at me as if I suggested throwing up to lose weight.

And I explained.

I will not do the whole spill again.

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There are some people who are not comfortable saying "I want to find someone". Someone to share my life with, someone to tell me everything will be okay, someone who will always choose me. Someone. Whatever the dependent clause that comes after it is.

Why?

Because it is a sign of weakness? Because people might think that I'm unhappy? Because Filipino women in the general sense were taught to wait? Because I'm having the time of my life with my single friends? Because I don't need a man? Because men are pigs?

Maybe not the pigs part.

For a lot of reasons.

But really. What is wrong with admitting to that?

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I don't think signing up is an indication of anything but honesty. Admitting YOUR truth.

What you do after you "meet" potential matches determines your worth.

It is not the .com that cheapens relationships, but the childish behavior and lack of self respect.

Disclaimer: Don't be stupid, like a lot of things such as binge drinking--there are risks associated meeting up with strangers! But that is not exclusive for dating sites, isn't it? Think ebay sellers :-p

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Do I have an account?

I hate to say NO after stating my case. But I'd hate to run the sequence of events the last four years too.

Sorry.

this too shall pass

One of the yoga teachers that I had gotten so used to seeing said that today would be his last class here. He is moving back to his hometown.

This was also one of the best classes we had in a long time.

It is funny how I was thinking the other day that lately, he didn't seem to be too enthusiastic in class and that maybe I could go to the sessions with other instructors.

Near the end of today's class, I thought "he's back". Only. He is leaving.

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I remember the last exam I had in college. I did extremely well, and I thought "that was fun". Only. It was the last one.

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Maybe it is human nature that when you begin to see the end, you suddenly have that surge of energy. Even enthusiasm.

Patience comes easy when you know the situation is temporary. Or ending.

The funny thing is that it is known that everything will pass.

I think this is a truth I sometimes forget when I am frustrated. Then maybe, i'd do better :-)

i love

that I can really talk to you.

best 80 cents spent

I love lettuce. All kinds. Really.

In fact, I could well relate to Rapunzel's mom. Obviously, I wouldn't give up an unborn child for some greens--or ask a husband to steal....

Anyways, point made.

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There is a market near where I sometimes go for lunch and because I pass by fruit and vegetable stalls, I often get tempted to buy whatever looks good. Or is in season.

Not unlike shopping--shopping.

I'd buy dragon fruit, rambutan, dried figs, pears, green apple, lettuce, cucumbers, plums, cherries. The prices are pretty good too!

Unlike shopping--shopping. Booo.

(I once bought a box of peaches and was forced to eat each one because I didn't want it to go to waste like the persimon.)

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On Friday I chanced on some romaine that looked really good. Even if I still had some butterhead at home, I couldn't resist.

I was so surprised that they were selling for 80 cents! The cheapest I've gotten them for was a little over a dollar. Summer sale? :-p

I didn't hoard. I just got one. Leaving me with one too many lettuce "heads".

It is Friday again. And guess what? I've almost used up all the leaves!!! Not to mention, I didn't throw any leaf away.

I have just enough for another sandwich :-). Tomorrow's breakfast.

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You know you're getting older (and boring) when writing about vegetables excite you.

one rainy night, two rainy nights

One rainy night someone announced that she would be moving here for good. As far as 'for good' can go in the context of people like me. The night turned into day, and we, well... we were cast away. Without the beard--maybe some shaggy hair.

One night someone arranged for a barbecue and announced that we will be roasting the bratwurts in the oven for our own good. As until now the regular are always challenged getting the fire started. The night turned into day then, downpour. And we, well... we probably brewed up a storm singing Bon Jovi and Kings of Leon. Without being in tune--but with conviction.

in my parents' eyes

I'd always see it in the movies... you know, a person who feels that he had failed his parents. Or kids who feel that they would never be great in their parents' eyes.

Think Tyrion Lannister.

I think, my parents think I'm poor.

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Whenever they come to visit, I'd tell them that I would bring them out my Dad will insist that we don't go somewhere fancy. If I insist, my Dad would insist on paying. He would go to the extent of paying the bill when he was supposed to be going to the toilet just so I won't have to pay.

Whenever I go shopping with my Mom, she would secretly pay for the things that I intended to pay--even when I tell her that I intended to buy her something. There was one time that I told her I had vouchers, even if I didn't so that she'd let me pay.

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Obviously, I was being dramatic when I wrote I think, my parents think I'm poor.

So why all these?

1. My parents feel that I have a long life to live and would like me to save my money for the rainy days.

2. My parents want to treat me because I spend little time with them as they live in another country.

3. My parents enjoy feeling that they are good providers.

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I was once at the drugstore with my Mom. I was getting vitamin C. I got the generic ones off the shelf and headed to the counter.

Mom: Oh, you should get the coated ones, they are better.
Me : They are the same really.
Mom: Here, take the coated ones. I'll pay for it.

I don't think my mom thinks I'm poor, but maybe she thinks I like to scrimp :-p

Rotation

I tend to spend a lot of time in bed...

Whenever i'm at home, I think I spend 80% of the time in bed.

Even while sewing, I do the "ground work" in bed instead of the desk.

I tend to stay on the right side too. You know what that means... my body's contours are now "remembered" by the cushion.

Yesterday, I was on the left side for a few minutes and... wow! It felt soooo different.

What that means is that, it is time to rotate the bed. i did that just now. I wonder how good I'd sleep tonight.

what do you mean?

I was having a conversation about arguments yesterday.  I said that "never" and "always" really get to me.

What does that mean?

Maybe an example would be better.

If at the middle of the conversation cum argument I hear a line that goes "You ALWAYS do such and such" or "How come you NEVER such and such", it would be my cue to end the conversation.

Why? Because it means that infinity is the scope. Because it means that it is the emotions talking. Because it means it won't go anywhere.

Maybe sometimes never doesn't really mean never but instead, rarely.

Maybe sometimes always doesn't really mean always but instead, often.

Maybe sometimes ending a conversation doesn't really mean you are 'giving up', instead caring enough to shut up--so you can talk when words really mean what they mean.

VERA special plant

I received an aloe vera plant from a colleague. Seriously.

I thought that was really sweet :)

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Since receiving it, I had been googling like crazy on aloe vera preparation... and each time I find one, I'd think that I would be better off buying the processed ones.

While that means losing on the nutrients, it ensures that wondrous summerish taste. Besides, it was really the taste that had drawn me to aloe vera--the benefits part was just a bonus.

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I saw a giant tub of sweetened aloe vera the other day. I didn't put it in my cart... but I'm seriously thinking about it!

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I'm kind of worried about my plant though.

Apart from the money tree I have on my desk at the office--which requires (almost) NO EFFORT, I don't really have any experience on growing plants.

Plus, I live in a building--which means the plant is in a pot that is a poor substitute for the ground. Forget fertilisers. I don't have any!

Did I mention "no sun"?

Some of our plants died after we moved to our new place because of the orientation of our flat. It is pretty awesome visually--and cool, considering that we live in a tropical country. The drawback though, is that there is no direct sunlight at any point.

Good for me :) Bad for plants :(

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We shall see if love is really enough to keep anything alive.

happy new year

to me :-)

inTENSE

While I a still at beginner level at yoga, one thing that I appreciate is the increased awareness and improved ability to "listen" to my body.

In the past, I did not realise that my muscles were tense most times during the day--including the jaw and neck.

Since this eye opening moment, I would consciously relax any muscle that is engaged, unless of course I am carrying out physical activities.

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During challenging or more thoughtful times, I catch myself tensing facial muscles more.

Last week was particularly hectic and interesting in the office. And we all know how that went....

Yesterday, I couldn't really see.

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Today, the my facial muscles seem overworked. It feels spent.

I've consciously counted how many times I caught myself tensing the last two hours, I stopped counting at six.

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I think I need a recording of my favorite yoga instructor asking me to lelac my tang, tee, joe....

Some Days

Some days, I can't see. Clearly. I can't see clearly.

Some days, I wake up and everything is blurry. Literally.

Some days, I focus and re-focus. In vain.

Some days, there is some pain in between my eyes. Slightly up my forehead. Where the third eye is.

Some days, I need to wear my specs. Even with my 20 - 25 vision.

Some days, I need to alternate between two specs. With varied grades.

Some days, I think it is because some days I over work my eyes.

Some days, I think it is because I'm getting old.

Some days, I think that maybe I wore a top that's too bright. And it causes the glare.

Today seems like a day that is everything like some days. Maybe even the latter.

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Suddenly, I am reminded of that time when a certain blockmate (yes Rhea, this is you!) once pulled me to one side and said that she would hear a certain guy (No Rhea, I will not type his name) sing "Do you see what I HEAR?".

Lost

And found.

I thought for a moment that I lost "the one"...

The only one who cuts my hair the way I want it, even if sometimes I don't realise it till it's done.

Like the annoying girl in Grey's Anatomy. Well. The opposite of her (thank God!)--not knowing she didn't want it till she did. Something like that.

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I didn't think I lost him to death--even if the receptionist at the salon told me that he was in an indefinite medical leave when I called to make an appointment.

I suspected he had another (yes, another) liposuction done--followed by a Bali trip to show off his new body.

Then, I thought maybe the receptionist was lying. I was sure I wanted to pass by and talk her into spilling.

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Then, I got a text message from the one telling me he moved salons!

Whew.

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I was just talking to a friend saying that I don't want to be trying out new stylist to find another "him".

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There had been only two stylist that I really got attached to. This one and the one from 1998 - 2003ish.

It only proves that finding a gooood stylist is sooooo much more tricky than choosing a good man.

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This is a love story. I think.