What Real Men Do...and Don't Do

To get some exercise, I decided to swim this lazy Saturday afternoon. After 8 laps, I was ready to throw in the towel. I felt so puny. This must be exactly how Toad feels when he is around Wolverine. I then spent a good 30 minutes in the sauna then went back to the poolside to watch the bright sky turn to a shade south of indigo while I listen to some acoustic rendition of 41 by my favorite band.

A resident I have never seen before walks by wearing a shirt that says 'Real men wear black'. This made me do a mental list of the what I associate with being a REAL MAN.

1. Opens doors and gives up seats for women, regardless of the woman's age or attractiveness.
2. Has clean, clipped toenails--absent of clear coat and that red antiseptic.
3. Doesn't wear floral anything, save hawaiian shirts.
4. Admits that Shutter scared the crap out of him.
5. Recognizes and is secure enough to say that Daniel Craig's thighs in Casino Royale were perfect.
6. Moisturizes his face, elbows and knees (only!) almost regularly. All other parts (back, shoulders, arms, etc.), only when necessary.
7. Knows when to listen.
8. Never rolls his eyes.
9. Refuses to comment at times when he SHOULD NOT comment.
10. Knows the answer to the age old question "Do I look fat?".