my little matchstick girl

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My good friend A is one of my favorite people.  

Outside of my family, she is one those who are closest to me and know me well.

Our story as friends started slowly.  I can say that it was even, by chance.

It had its starts and stops, but with our renewed friendship I know I’d love for it to last.

We met at work.  We were not on the same team.  Did not have the same start date.  Circumstances or maybe Michael happened and we ended up becoming regular lunchmates.  

We were usually in a group, so we hardly shared much except maybe notes on which stalls had good food and other random impersonal things like new places to visit in Singapore or what locals call certain things.

It was okay.  Lukewarm. 

We didn’t even know of each other’s personal emails nor handphone numbers.  It was a casual—even formal, relationship.

One day, certain departments were moved to another location.  So, she went away.  I stayed at the same place.

It looked like the end of our encounters.

- - -

After a little more than a year, there was again another office move.  And we found ourselves, in the same location.  Together again.  This was our unofficial second go.

I can’t put my finger on what changed—if any at all, but we started to become friends.  Not the casual friendship that revolved around small talk and general things.  But a deeper, more meaningful friendship that included sharing glimpses of the self we share with family and loved ones.

From having nothing to talk about, we suddenly did not have enough time to talk.  We also realised that while we are very different in terms of background, up close we have very similar values.

- - -

I will never forget the look on her face when I told her that my husband and I were engaged.

It was a validation of some feel good postcard I could have read somewhere; that happiness grows exponentially when shared with other people.  

With the right people. 

- - -

When I asked her to be the Candle Sponsor in my wedding, she gave me the same big-eyed smile, a hug and said YES!

This was later followed by a conversation about what the candle symbolises.  As she is not Catholic, she learnt about the ceremony traditions for the first time that day.

- - -

On my wedding day, I learnt that she had never lit a match before.

At home, they had an automatic stove.  When lighting candles, they would use lighters.

So as part of the homework she set for herself to prepare for her role in our wedding, she spent a Saturday afternoon lighting tea light candles using matchsticks.

I thought that was the sweetest thing any candle sponsor could do for the couple.  Much sweeter than say, making the actual candle.  Really.  Much.

- - -

I think that from that day onwards, I can never see matchsticks without thinking of the wonderful friend I found in A.