from D to something else

What's that?

It is a half moon (vertical orange wedge shape) found at each side of my pants.

It is funny how I know if I had eaten too much based on this. Sun dial?

Obviously, whenever I over eat--my stomach expands. And well, my pants needs to adapt.

Just like that, both sides, the half moon turns into and inverted rainbow. An ark even. Or... a smile! Now that I think about it, yes. A smile.

As if the pants is expressing appreciation for the hearty meal ;)

frankenstein soap

I usually keep two soap bars in the bath. One creamy soap and my favorite white anti-bacterial soap. I keep the latter because I just love how it smells--and maybe the advertisement I was exposed to growing up lead me to believe that I would be full of germs by mid afternoon if I used another soap brand. Thank you to the actors wearing lab coats telling me to make sure I am protected, I feel life without it would be...I don't know, dirty perhaps.

Clearly, the germ fighting soap also lasts longer than the creamy one. And every now and then I would find myself in situations. Situations wherein I get stuck with a frankenstein soap.

What is that? I actually made it up. It is what I call two or more soap bars that had gotten too small that you stick in to the fresh-just-out-of-the-box replacement soap.

Day 1 - Creamy Soap 1 (CS1) is as big as Germ Fighting Soap 1 (GFS1)

Day n - CS1 is down to 10%, GFS1 is still 50%

You mash CS1 to GFS1 to form Frankenstein Soap 1 (FS1)
You open another Creamy Soap, CS2

Day N - FS1 is down to 10%, CS2 is down to 10% too

You open another Germ Fighting Soap, GFS2
You mash FS1, CS2 and GFS2 to form Frankenstein Soap 2 (FS2)
You open another Creamy Soap, CS3

And then so it goes.

moving on

It had been a roller coaster week at work topped with drama, no thank you to my prescription--that I took the last of yesterday (yey!).

I had also been little by little clearing my room and doing some packing as we are moving homes this weekend.

It is only when you are forced to look at your room that you realise marvelous--and horrible things. Over the last two weeks, I had come to a conclusion that...I let my room go.

Admittedly, my room is an eyesore in our lovely home :(

I am blessed to have a sister in law who accepts me, no matter how my room looks. Because I love her and know how much she likes organised and well put together places, I have vowed to make sure I never fall into the trap again.

again

I saw an episode of How I Met Your Mother wherein Ted went on the same date seven years apart.

If you didn't see that particular episode, my synopsis would not make sense and would have no connection to what I have in mind to write about.

So maybe, I should elaborate.

In 2002, Ted went on a blind date where he looked for typos in the menu, cracked a silly joke while the girl made excuses about being jobless and didn't stop talking about her cats.

It somehow didn't go so well as to bear a second date.

In 2009, Ted goes to another blind date where he looked for typos in the menu, cracked a silly joke and the girl made excuses about being jobless and didn't stop talking about her cats.

Both dates, the same girl.

No, I don't want to write about blind dates. But being the same person each time you get into something, or take a chance with someone.

I'd like to think that I have gone a long way since 2002, but somehow I remain to be that person.

Specific things that made me happy then, still make me light up.

I still go crazy about wrong slogans or silly expressions, laugh at ridiculously corny jokes, make excuses for eating too much sampaloc and talk for hours about Anne Rice or Neil Gaiman. Actually, I can still talk for hours. There. Annoying. I know.

So maybe, I too go into these things as the same person each time. Somehow.

hobbits

I'd like to write about habits.

I had been sharing cab rides with a friend for a while and each time, I wait for as long as I could before giving a specific set of instructions to the cab driver.

And each time we head home, I end up saying it.

Tonight I asked my friend why such is the case.

I was given a question for an answer

You know I would never forget, why do you keep saying it?

I appreciate the point BUT, just how long am I expected to wait for it?

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I have a funny feeling that next time around, just when the cab reaches that specific spot, I would wait (and wait) till I couldn't help it anymore and just say it.

surprise

I seem to be surprising myself a lot lately.

And it isn't about my appetite. But maybe I would write a bit more about that. For the past month I have been eating as though it is the last day to eat. I was telling my friend that maybe we should try not to binge. On the same breath, we made dinner plans for tomorrow.

I read somewhere that if you pig out for everyday for two whole weeks, it is not until the 14th day that you feel the bulge. If that is true, then it had been another two weeks since I have felt the weight yet there seems to be no alarms ringing. I should be worried.

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The game is on this Saturday. I can imagine all my friends frenzied.

It had been years since I last watched a game live. There was a time (that seems to be from another lifetime now!) when I saw all the games.

I was excited to receive an invitation to watch it in someone's living room. The next best thing to watching it in out in a sports bar :)

I don't think I'd be wearing green, but I anticipate doing the spelling (and adding those two letters in the end for laughs).

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I keep looking at all the stuff that I have and trying to figure out what to do with almost everything. In you have been in the same place for four years, you don't realise that you have accumulate so much stuff. And it is only when you are about to move that you are overwhelmed by the volume.

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I know I was supposed to write about why I seem to be surprising myself a lot lately. However, I find that I'd rather nap right now--to forget about my tummy ache.

barely halftime

I woke up from a nightmare and had been tossing and turning the last hour. It looks like sleep won't come easy now.

So then, it is an opportune time to write a blog entry.

Only, I can't think about anything to write about.

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I can feel change coming my way. More like changes. It is not nearly close to the first digit in my age in a few weeks time, but I'm talking big bigger things. Things that matter. To me.

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While I am waiting for the crossroads to come into play, I can't help but think of the forks on each of the roads potentially ahead.

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This had been a very exciting year for me so far.

It is barely halfway through, but so many things had already happened that I can't help but thing that if the pace keeps up, I would need more potent multivitamins for the rest of the year.

some, and then forgiveness

At one point you would have thought that it takes only one act to ruin everything. If you are someone like me, it is something that you would more than sometimes think about.

If we talk human experiences, forgiveness seems to be the glue that brings back life to what had been shattered. It is to say that things are never the same but you have what seems to be or almost something like what was there pre-trauma. I can almost hear Neneng say may lamat na.

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Forgiveness doesn't come very easily for me, I am not sure if it is because well, there were not a lot of people I have had differences with. We are not talking about petty spats, rather BIG things. It could be words spoken, or trivial behavior. Events that change lives, ruin relationships, even slaughter respect, trust or dignity.

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It never fails to surprise me how certain acts make people forget about past experiences.

For example, a neglected child comes to an age that is legally allowed to drive and is given a cool car by the neglecting parents. All of a sudden, the audience shifts. There is no longer a poor child, rather a lucky person with wonderful parents and is an ideal candidate to swap lives with.

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While I am happy to move on, I become watchful of how relationships--once tainted, progress.

I find myself in monologue, trying to have a conversation in my head with God about forgiveness. Should I completely forget?

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I once saw a Discovery Channel feature on how sometimes the brain blocks certain things to protect the person. And this had happened to me in the past.

Once you remember, do you once again push it away so that you forget it forever?

scratch and scratch until you succeed

As it is my first time to redeem an iTunes gift card, I realised too late that it scratches differently from a regular iTunes card. As a result, I missed two--at least I believe it to be two characters in code.

I was not sure if Apple was about to tell me the missing numbers that easily. So while I logged a ticket, I also wrote some simple scripts to generate each combination possible. Of course I was not about to try (27 + 10) x (27 + 10) redemption codes. I randomly selected thirty-ish.

In the end, I never got the right one.

The good news is that Apple actually gave me the right code :)

I am so happy with Apple's service that just maybe I will give in and get that thing that I need. Okay, want.

no wire

Internet connection is provided for in the place where we stay. And as no one stepped up to buy a router, we would be the only home in Singapore that relied on internet cables.

We all have the long cables though, so this meant we could bring our notebooks around pretty much anywhere the house but the kitchen and we'd still be connected.

But all that had changed on Wednesday.

We are now, after four years, wireless.

Look Ma, no wires! :)

amber

I wonder when orange--as in the color of the traffic light turned amber.

What I mean is, I can't figure out when I started using amber for orange.

I remember quite clearly hearing my cousin say "orange means go faster" before going for her driver's test--caused her dad to shake his head. She got her license--on the first try, by the way.

hesitation

I wanted to blog about the Green Day concert, but there is just too much to write.

So, I'd skip those details and write about something--one thing that Billie said.

He asked the crowd to put away the cameras and use their minds to remember.

It may not be the exact words. But the thought is well along that line.

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I like that. It resonates.

There are times when I'd think of taking a photo or video--make any...documentation of the event that is unfolding so that I would have something to remind me or allow me to relive it. However, I hesitate.

More often then not, I don't shoot it. Only because I know that in doing so, I'd lose a part of the experience.

In every personal, happy, real fleeting moment, I'd like to be there a hundred percent. And maybe this makes poor memorabilia but really, it is worth it?

(i'm a) FULL

I received snazzy earphones for my four--nearing five year old iPod. Fantastic as the original one had turned off-white.

Now, if only I could add disk space, it would be perfect.

the cure

It is interesting how people do funny things when they are restless. Or lonely. Or feeling alone.

What never fails to amaze me is the determination and effort involved when seeking attention. Or sympathy. Sometimes, there is even a taste of desperation that goes with it. It is quite obvious of course, to everyone but the person--I think.

As a concerned party, I try to pacify the hunger. But it is never enough. As you see, no one person can satisfy the need. In fact, nothing and no one would be able to accomplish the impossible feat but the actual person.

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What do I suggest?

For starters, I would suggest to myself that I stop trying to solve the issue. Because I can't. I am but part of the audience.

To the person, I would suggest the following:

Give. Give to the needy. Volunteer. Talk to others who need someone to listen to them. To receive what you seek, you should give it away. I didn't write that. But it makes a lot of sense.

Clean. To clear your mind, start by cleaning your surroundings. Discard old clothes. Take out shoes you no longer wear. Throw away dated bills, receipts and other files. Rid your place of clutter.

Organise. To bring your self to the intended place, organise your life. Start by organising your things.

Fix. Mend shirts with loose buttons, replace ruined soles and tape ripped pages. There is happiness in piecing together what has fallen apart. Literally. And figuratively.

Create. Bake a cake, cook a meal, paint / sketch something beautiful, take a photo, write a poem or sew a dress. It could be anything that allows you to imagine and express yourself.

Smile. It is the fastest way to make things just a little bit more bearable.

full arms?

I was talking to someone about project prioritisation wherein I made a comment about the business having to somewhat 'metrically' arm wrestle to get mandays allocated to their initiatives. For emphasis, I said "PUNONG BRASO talaga".

I was corrected.

BUNONG braso.

Buno = Wrestle

Braso = Arm

Just great. I had been saying it wrong my whole life.

"bowling"

Colleagues from the same floor that I am at have organised an unofficial bowling night. While I feel that it is a good opportunity to hang out with them outside of work and I am for camaraderie, I can't help but half smile to myself.

Bowling.

so many questions

Lately, I had been asked all sorts of questions.

What is your nationality? How old are you? Are you lesbian? Why don't you look Filipino? Who don't you sound Filipino? (Not sure if it is because I'm tone deaf) Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend? Are you dating anyone? (Rhea, I know you want to know :-p) Where do you get your hair cut? Where did you buy your shoes? Where did you buy your dress? Are you more attracted to fair or dark men? Have you dated a blonde? Are you willing to date a blonde? How about a redhead? Have you dated a caucasian? A Singaporean? ABC? Where can I eat Filipino food? Are you PR yet? Do you watch The Contender? Do you think Little Britain is funny? Do you think person A is gay? How about person B? Do you think person C is attractive? Is person D your type? Do you think person E likes person C? You think she likes person D? Should I pair up persons C and A? Are you going out tonight? Why did you dress up so nicely? What are you looking for in a man? Is it true that you like smart and funny men? Will you consider dating any of the single guys here? How much can you drink before you get high? (If she didn't appear harmless, this question would make me not want to drink with her) When are you going back to Manila? How many times had you been bridesmaid? Do you know that you should not be bridesmaid more than three times because you will end up an old maid? How come I can't find 'patricia gomez' in Facebook? Can you add me in Facebook? Can you understand Mandarin? Do you like to go bowling?

I am stopping here, but I'm sure there are so much more that I am unable to remember right now.

I think most questions are pretty standard or at least almost normal. Except maybe, the third one. I mean, seriously. Who asks that? Especially on the first meeting. In front of a crowd. It was almost like playing Truth or Dare.

I say, dare.

betty, not veronica

We've had this conversation before.

It doesn't matter.

If you are prettier, smarter, funnier. It doesn't matter.

If you could give more, care more, love more. It doesn't matter.

If his friends, family, loved ones think, thinks, think you are the one for him. It doesn't matter.

If you complain less, fuss less, demand less. It doesn't matter.

There is no point reciting the litany of why he should have picked (and chose and loved) you.

I think this is my cue to change the topic.

oversized box

Some things can be contained in a much smaller box, but we choose otherwise because there is comfort in having leeway in case we were wrong.

Jack in the box. Horrible. Scary.

I guess it is another application, if you like, of hoping for the best and expecting the absolute worst.

The next part of this post would probably mean nothing to anyone except to the person it is directed to. For all I know, that person could be me.

Maybe moving the sandwich to the lunchbox is part of the process, it could be the first inch off the ground upon taking that leap of faith.

left behind

I never grow my fingernails.

Yesterday while eating one of my favorite chicken wings in Singapore, I noticed that I accidentally left out the thumb nail of my right hand the last time I trimmed. It's no biggie as I cut quite frequently that it is only a little bit more than a millimeter longer than the rest--still, I couldn't wait to get home and take care of it for it was the only nail with a (very thin) white rainbow on top.

Boooooo.