glorious day

My fiancé and I decided a long time ago that we will accept whatever God's intention was in terms of our wedding day.

The rain.

The ceremony.

Everything.

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This didn't mean of course the we slacked.  We did (and continue to do) what is required from our side to prepare for our wedding day.  

We now have all the paperwork done.  We had attended all the seminars.  We continue to work of on-the-day details.

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While we are not overly religious, my fiancé and I feel that the church ceremony is the highlight of our day.  It is the moment that we promise ourselves to each other in front of God and man.

Usually, if there is a priest who is close to the family, it is requested that he presides.  Unfortunately for us, there isn't anybody.

So we wait for the parish to assign one of their priests to wed us.  That is okay too.  We are sure that any priest would hold a meaningful ceremony for us.

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The interview with the priest is another requirement for Catholic weddings.  It is an opportunity for the priest to assess the readiness of the couple, elaborate on the sacrament of marriage and provide guidance to the soon to be husband and wife.  

It also presents a opportunity to gain insight about the bride and groom in preparation for the sermon.

Yesterday was our interview.

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I left Fr. Manny's office practically skipping!

I gave my fiancé a big hug, repeatedly saying I'm so happy.  Not that it wasn't obvious or anything.

We truly felt blessed because through a friend, we were able to meet the perfect priest for our ceremony.  

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This is a bonus.  A BIG BONUS.

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Grateful.

Beyond words.

Thankful.

Overjoyed.

precioussssss

We went to the jeweller's last week for our wedding bands.

It was the first time they were seeing me as my fiancé took care of my engagement ring.

And so, they were asking about how my ring had been so far.  Standard questions really.  When the specialist looked at my hand, he said that he is surprised the ring had never fallen off and then practically begged me to have it resized.

My mom and friends had told me the same.

After five months, I am used to how it feels around my finger and I am not sure if I want to go a size down.   

It feels like tightening the belt literally and the idea that something prohibitive fits snugly doesn't sit comfortably with me.

Admittedly, in the cold (as in when in an air conditioned room) I do feel the ring becoming loose.  And there would be times that I push it down to the very bottom of my ring finger and (maybe) unconsciously, stick my little, ring and tall fingers together--as if in a huddle.

I also tense my fingers when I wash my hands to make sure the ring stays put.  

Maybe because I seemed so reluctant, the specialist demonstrated how easily the ring can slide off.  He also got a few rings one size down just to let me feel the size.

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In the end, I did the right thing and had it sized down.

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It took three business days to get it back.

What really surprised me was how I felt its absence.

I would huddle the same three fingers and feel surprised that I am not squeezing anything.

When I chance upon my left hand, I no longer just see the tan line left by my wristwatch.  A spot had been created on my left ring finger.  There is some physical marking, which reminds me that something is missing, that something should be there.

I love my ring.  Physically, and even more so, what it stands for.  I surprised myself though, realising just how attached I am to it.

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I had become, Gollum.

And this made me a little uneasy.

Maybe not a Gollum, perhaps a Frodo at one point.  While I was not consumed by the absence of it, I missed it more that I thought I would.

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I got my ring back yesterday.

I am still adjusting, but I feel that I had made the right decision.  Somehow I can feel that it is more secure.  The stone also don't slide to one side anymore--at least not as much.

DaVao

Caged by all the wedding preparations that need to be finalised before everyone breaks for the holidays, I have neglected my blog.

I had been writing a lot though.  I had been up to my neck creating packs for my wedding coordinator, photographer and wedding gown designer.

It is interesting how despite the fact that I feel planning a wedding is a chore and that I'd rather escape all the hardwork and elope, I actually enjoy picturing our big day's look-and-feel.  It helps I guess, that my fiance  and myself have similar views on most wedding related details. 

I don't really talk too much to other people about wedding options, only because each person has a vision of what is beautiful--or ideal.  I guess that's true for most things, not only weddings.  And I don't want to bother having to seemingly defend my choices :) 


Here, I would ecstatically agree to disagree.

I do update my Mom because I know how much she loves to get involved and she had always been someone very supportive and keen to help on anything that would ease any load or would make things more convenient for me.  I also look forward to the extra bonding time with her.

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What am I most excited about? 

The vows :) 

I actually have a very rough draft in my head of what I want to say to my future husband and I almost can't wait to pen it down.

From a strict planning perspective, I don't know the right time to start writing it.  Though I am very much organised, it is actually the first time in my life that I bought a planner.  I used the wedding as an excuse, but the reality is that when Moleskine came up with a Little Prince 2013 planner, I wanted one.

Maybe I'd randomly flip though and where I catch a page, I'll set as my vows drafting date.

so 'there'

It has been a few weeks but somehow everything still feels so new to me.  

Every time I remember though, I feel my heart somewhat jump.  I know it sounds horribly corny, but it's true.

I oftentimes forget that we are engaged then something comes up like being called a fiancé,  a mention of something wedding related, or receipt of a best-wishes-message--then I’m there again.

will you...

We went to Phuket, to an off island that was incidentally also the place we went to for our first holiday by ourselves. 

On the second day, I was lounging by the beach eating Salt and Vinegar Lays lost in thought about what I’d have for lunch.  It would be pretty much lunchtime for us when he comes back from our cottage. 

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I look up to see that he was back.

He walks towards me and sits by my side. 

He pauses there and looks at me. 

Looks at me. 

Looks. 

As he leans forward, he says ‘I love you’ then kisses me.  

He pulls away just a little, but keepsclose.

Looking. 

He brushes away rebellious strands of hair from my face.  Keeping close.

Silence. 

Smiles.

Looking.

He quietly says ‘Will you marry me?’.

I look at him.

I look.

At him.

 ‘Did he just propose?’, I asked myself.  In my mind, ‘Did he just propose?’.

Heart racing.

And as if he read my mind, the way he can seemingly do.  He asks again.

Slowly. 

As if allowing a moment for each word to resonate…

Will you marry me?

I feel a tear roll down my eye.

Yes.

Another tear.  On my cheek. 

My cheek.

Smile. Cry.  Feel.

Breathe. 

Smile. Feel.

Breathe.

Look. See. 

Be.

We embrace. 

We stayed there for a while—holding each other.

Breathe.

He pulls away and says ‘Even without a ring?’

Right. The ring.  I didn’t even realise… 

Yes.  Even without a ring.

We embrace some more.

Be.

Hold.

Eyes closed.

He releases his embrace and turns his back at me. 

I have something for you.

Water, I thought. He always brought me water.  He knows.  He knows I’m always thirsty.

Facing me, he opens a box facing me.

Facing me.

I look.

Floored.  I was floored. 

He takes it out of the box and I reach my right hand out to him--suddenly aware that not only was it dusted with salt and vinegar flavouring, I was also wearing carnation colored nail lacquer—not exactly my classiest choice.

‘Left’ he says smiling, reaching for my other hand. 

I reach out my left hand to meet his halfway. 

Touching. 

 ‘I researched’ he adds.

He puts the ring around my finger.

Perfect.  It fit perfectly.

Like his hand with mine.

And we stayed there. 

His hand with mine.

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We’re engaged.  October 20, 2012.

I thought I’d write about the proposal since the first thing most people seemed to ask was ‘how did he propose?’ and what I’ve said was 'wait'. I knew I'd write about it.  And probably, that would be the best way for me to tell the story.