(i keep saying) yes to my dress

I love the show Say Yes to the Dress.

I enjoyed watching it even before I was engaged, and continue to watch it now whenever I chance by it.

I sometimes catch myself smiling from ear to ear when I see the dress for the bride-to-be.

Sometimes when I watch it, I think about my wedding gown and how much I love it.  In fact, there are times when I watch our Same Day Edit / On the Day photo slideshow just to look at the dress I said yes to.

lace (applique) on tulle on lace on tulle

There are so many things I love about my wedding dress.

First is the colour.  I feel it looks old school without being costume-y.

I always wanted a dress that was cream-to-champagne, but I wouldn't have guessed that it would be champagne lace over ivory tulle over white lace over the lightest beige--almost gold base.

As a bonus the dress looks different depending on the lighting.  Some people asked me if I changed dresses during the reception because 'it looked like another dress'.

stickers?

I love the texture of the lace appliqué, there are even photos where it looked like 'floating lace'.

I had 'sleeves' for church and off it went just before cocktails.

party dress

I think what I love the most about my dress is that despite all the layers, the various colours, it is still a simple dress.

And I love that.

Simple.

…is all around

I had met Gela years before, but it isn't until 2013 that I had a chance to really spend time with her and get to know her.

Incidentally, 2013 was a big year for her--in the sense that there were a lot of changes in her life.  It was an exciting and fruitful year for Gela and my husband and I are very happy to have been part of her journey.

It is double the happiness for us that unknowingly, we are able to share what joy we have to people around us :)

Happy new year! 

CAKE that!

cake cutters

I loved our wedding cake for lots of reasons.  Let me count the ways.

1. Simplicity :)   

2. All cake!

3. Butter, Chocolate, Carrot.  Three layers, three flavours.

4.  Toothsome fondant

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When asked what cake I wanted my immediate answers were "delicious" and "simple".  

I went further to say "maybe the most simple cake you ever made", talking to the baker.

It came out like a dream.  

It was matte all over with satin effect liners for every layer.  There were two white flowers on top, two smaller ones on middle layer and three even smaller ones at the bottom.

Off white on white.  I love the very subtle contrast.

this is real

I think this is one of my favourite photos from the wedding.

This was the moment we were just pronounced husband and wife.

It was also the point when the priest was just about to say you may kiss the bride.

I remember feeling giddy and ever so slightly shy.

My husband is going to kiss me.  

Deep breath.

Sweaty palms.  A drumming heart.

I wait.

---

Oli, my eloquent friend once again had found the exact words.

when reality is finally better than your dreams...

book i: pre-production

us

Love of Photography

I had never taken any form of photography class all my life.  I don’t have a top of the line kick ass monster camera.  I probably would never.  I do not have the desire to.  And while these seemingly negate what I am about to write.  It is true.

I love photography. 

I love images.  It may be a single frame from a movie clip.  It may be a polariod.  It could well be even in instagram.  Or a still from a dream—an image in my mind.  

Love.

I love looking at pictures.  Good ones.

I maybe, can spend an afternoon just taking in the beauty in frames.  I sometimes get lost looking at images.  There had been times when I just could not stop looking.

I don’t consider myself a photographer--far from it.  But I’d like to think that there are times when I am thrown a carrot.  All the elements come together and I am allowed to capture that moment perfectly.  And for me, those moments are enough.

I am an enthusiast.  Not a professional.

My Love

My husband and I hardly have any photos together.

Sometimes, a birthday goes by without one photo taken.  This bothered me. 

I think about the lack of photographs, but it had always been a constant struggle--taking photos seems to pull us away from the present.  It gets in the way of now.  

It breaks my heart, the thought of not having something to remember us by.  I mean, if we are going The Notebook here, how would I remember?

Our Love, Captured

In celebrating our love, through the sacrament of marriage, my husband and I knew that we had to find the team who could give us what me don't have, in a form that is raw and pure. 

We wanted a team who sees us--and puts us in a frame in their artists' eye. 

It almost seemed like a quest for a love.

A Journey of Love

We looked. 

Everywhere.

We looked at so many websites that it was exhausting.  I personally, was close to feeling spent.

I contacted friends who got married the last couple of years and asked them for their shortlist. 

Maybe, I thought.  Maybe we will find them there.

And just when I thought I had seen everyone, my husband sent me a web address.

Look at this.  He wrote.

That was all.  

Look at this.

It was lunchtime.  And I didn’t have the energy to look—given our track record.  I decided to wait till evening. 

Love at First Sight 

Jeff and Lisa. 

I had not come across them before.  Their names were not familiar.

But I typed into the URL and looked.

Saw.

Loved.

The images that drew me to the husband-and-wife team were not that of a wedding nor a couple.  It was a series of portraits of a young family taken in their home.

I could feel the love.  Really.  Truly. 

Pure.  Innocent.  Bliss.

I could never forget how real those images felt.  Happiness immortalized. 

The way the sunlight went through the windows, refracted by the motion of the curtains. 

The curve of the children’s feet. 

The smiles.

The imperfections of day to day life; the perfection of unconditional love.

Perfect, imperfect. 

Reality. 

Then, I knew.

New Age Love

I asked my husband how he felt about their work--Jeff and Lisa’s.

He said that when he saw it, he had a feeling I would like their style.

I contacted Lisa and set an appointment.

That meeting just validated what I already knew, the search was over.

Perhaps, this is how modern love grows.  Digital touch points.  Virtual connections.

Love Blossoms

We met Jeff and Lisa personally in Manila when we went home to attend a friend’s wedding.  By then, Lisa and I would have already exchanged long emails wedding and non-wedding related.

Meeting her in person was really exciting for me. It was like I was meeting an old friend.

The couple walked into the veranda of the café all smiling.  I bet that even if I didn’t know how Lisa looked like, the giant smile she had on her alone would have told me, it was her.

The Lovers

I can say that I like Jeff and Lisa even when they are not Jeff and Lisa, husband and wife photographers.

I like them as Jeff and Lisa, husband and wife.  Just the same.

You spend time with a couple and you get a good feel of how they are.  How they deal.  How in love they are.

This is not to say they are lovey dovey.  They are professional and appropriate in every way possible.  But, you see their love.  I think love can’t be hidden by formalities and professionalism.

And I think this love reflects on their work. 

And I think they are truly the people you want to be around you on your wedding day.

Believers.

---

Note: This is the first instalment.  More entries to come as I sort though the box of photos and a flash drive full of images from our big day.   

Same Day Edit (SDE)

Unless you work in the wedding industry, it is likely that you are not too familiar with wedding suppliers.  Truly, this was the case for me.

I only knew of one wedding videographer, and while I felt that he was good--it didn't seem like a perfect fit--in terms of style.

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My husband and I spent two weekends watching hundreds of Wedding Same Day Edit Videos--split between 9-ish suppliers.

In the end, it was clear for us.  There was this one that we liked.  And all the rest we were neutral about.  None of them sucked--but like I said, it needed to be a fit.

---

I contacted the videographer and right then was told that they were booked the day of our wedding.

While we would have loved for him to do our wedding video coverage, we did not feel that any supplier was worth moving our wedding date for.

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We talked about our options and it seemed that apart from our favourite, there was no other videographer we would be willing to fly in for our destination wedding.

We decided to interview local suppliers.  

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Our wedding coordinator made arrangements with two local videographers so that we can talk to them the next time we went to Cebu.

We felt comfortable with both suppliers, but somehow, we both favoured one over the other.  We felt that his style was more suitable to what we wanted.  

Our coordinator seemed especially happy with our choice, it was as if she knew something.

---

Franz, our videographer is a very quiet gentleman.  

During our first meeting, we talked about elements of our wedding.  We talked about the number and types of guests we had.  We talked about the potential of being allowed to say our personal vows during the ceremony and things we could do instead if we weren't.

We talked about shots we loved.  We talked about shots we were not too crazy about.  

He offered his suggestions.  And was considerate of our input.

Even without saying too much, I felt that he understood what we were about and what we were looking for.

We were hopeful.

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Watching the SDE is my favourite part of the reception.

And when the time came for ours, I was excited.

On things like these--those I have no control over, I tend to curb my expectations whilst remaining hopeful.

Surely, however the SDE turns out, we would love it?  Is that not the reality of things?  Because it is yours. 

I will never know.

For when I watched it, I loved it.

---

Watch our Same Day Edit here  

Hung Over

My husband and I thought long and hard about wedding souvenirs for our sponsors.

We thought about giving them truffles--but truly, with so much food from the buffet, maybe something sweet won't be too enticing.  

We thought about alcohol--champagne maybe.  But, half of them didn't drink or should not be drinking.

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We wanted to give them something useful. 

Something that won't add to the things that collect dust in a shelf somewhere.

While it would be good if the object reminded them of us, but we didn't want our faces plastered or names stamped.  

Something practical, but gives a sense of indulgence.  Something you won't buy for yourself, but don't mind having.

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And so, I was reminded of something I'd seen in Etsy or other cutie-and-crafty sites.  

"if it's the same for you, I'll just hang"

I thought, perfect.

If I was a sponsor and got one of these, I'd love it!

Handmade hangers, our wedding giveaway :)

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Note:  While these were our actual hangers, the image unfortunately is not mine.  Stolen and enhanced from our wonderful wedding coordinator #blissunlimited

what goes with THE dress?

Before I do a monster blog entry about the probable most important dress of my life, I thought I'd write about accessories.

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Restraint.  

I think that it would be all too easy to go overboard with accessories.

Something for the hair, a belt for accent, a heirloom locket, a beautiful bracelet, chandelier earrings, a necklace he gave you for your anniversary--there is something meaningful, relevant, pretty, sparkly and wedding worthy for every part of the body.

It could be quite overwhelming deciding what to wear.  Or what not to wear.

For myself, I've always known that the only thing I wanted to add to the dress was a pair of earrings.

No headpiece.  No necklace.  No belt.  No bracelet.

Just earrings.

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Now, I didn't know exactly which earrings it would be.

From those that I already had, I was sure something would work.  I had finalists.  

My finalists fell under the obvious choice category.

What is the obvious choice?  Diamonds with a drop South Sea Pearl.  I think that is beautiful.  Classic.  It is the quintessential wedding accessory.

That being said, I was happy to wear any of my finalists.

dress to earrings: you complete me

Admittedly, there was a small part of me that felt the longing for the earrings to be different.

Something that has an antique feel, but doesn't look old.  Maybe even nostalgic. 

Something potentially with a hint of colour.  But not at all bright or striking.
Subtle. 

Something I would love to own.
Something I can see myself wearing even after the wedding. 

Something that suites me.  My style.
It should compliment me first, the gown second. 

Something possibly romantic.  But not cheesy.
Absent of hearts or stars. 

Exhibits a sense or classiness and elegance.
Not whimsical.

It needs to be well made.
Could have a potential of being a classic.

I know this is asking a lot from a mere set of earrings.  But let us not forget that I have the "ideal" earrings on hand--and this was me dreaming of an extra special touch. 

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With a lot of other things going on, I didn't want to stress over something I didn't even know existed.  

It wasn't as if I found the one.  

It was just the idea of the other choice. 

With a shrug I thought, if it happens, it happens.  

I didn't even set out to find it.

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During one of my facetime sessions with my Mom,  I told her about the debate in my mind about which earrings I ought to wear for the wedding.

She offered me any earring in her jewellery stash.

She also said that we can scout for earrings when I come home to visit.  She is somewhat a regular at a certain store, so we may be able to get better rates if we see something we like, she said.

---

I guess, a fairy godmother I didn't know about decided to grant me a wedding gift.

Without much effort, I found my earrings--in the store, my Mom frequented.

It was  a bonus that my Mom loved them too!  Our styles are quite opposite so finding something we are both in love with, is on its own, an event worth noting.

my earrings, in action

I consider myself lucky.

My heart secretly dreamt up the perfect earrings and somehow, circumstances (with the help of my Mom) lead me to find it--even when I was not looking.

This is by no means a highlight on our big day, but I do smile a little when I remember the story behind that small thing.

Save the Date Prints

I had this sepia printed to be given out to wedding guests.

Some friends mistook this for our actual wedding invite--so they were surprise to receive another invite closer to our wedding date.  

Having this alone for a wedding invite would have been okay too.  Adorable even, now that I think about it.

(Though I love our wedding invites too much to say 'we shouldn't have' as I believe we made the right decision doing both.)

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The intention behind the fun shooting night we had with our friends was really to have enough material for our Save the Date prints to pull off letting the pictures talk.  I'm quite happy with the end result ;)

Of course, we took so many photos--that I ended up making a 2-minute clip out of it!

my little matchstick girl

photoboothing

My good friend A is one of my favorite people.  

Outside of my family, she is one those who are closest to me and know me well.

Our story as friends started slowly.  I can say that it was even, by chance.

It had its starts and stops, but with our renewed friendship I know I’d love for it to last.

We met at work.  We were not on the same team.  Did not have the same start date.  Circumstances or maybe Michael happened and we ended up becoming regular lunchmates.  

We were usually in a group, so we hardly shared much except maybe notes on which stalls had good food and other random impersonal things like new places to visit in Singapore or what locals call certain things.

It was okay.  Lukewarm. 

We didn’t even know of each other’s personal emails nor handphone numbers.  It was a casual—even formal, relationship.

One day, certain departments were moved to another location.  So, she went away.  I stayed at the same place.

It looked like the end of our encounters.

- - -

After a little more than a year, there was again another office move.  And we found ourselves, in the same location.  Together again.  This was our unofficial second go.

I can’t put my finger on what changed—if any at all, but we started to become friends.  Not the casual friendship that revolved around small talk and general things.  But a deeper, more meaningful friendship that included sharing glimpses of the self we share with family and loved ones.

From having nothing to talk about, we suddenly did not have enough time to talk.  We also realised that while we are very different in terms of background, up close we have very similar values.

- - -

I will never forget the look on her face when I told her that my husband and I were engaged.

It was a validation of some feel good postcard I could have read somewhere; that happiness grows exponentially when shared with other people.  

With the right people. 

- - -

When I asked her to be the Candle Sponsor in my wedding, she gave me the same big-eyed smile, a hug and said YES!

This was later followed by a conversation about what the candle symbolises.  As she is not Catholic, she learnt about the ceremony traditions for the first time that day.

- - -

On my wedding day, I learnt that she had never lit a match before.

At home, they had an automatic stove.  When lighting candles, they would use lighters.

So as part of the homework she set for herself to prepare for her role in our wedding, she spent a Saturday afternoon lighting tea light candles using matchsticks.

I thought that was the sweetest thing any candle sponsor could do for the couple.  Much sweeter than say, making the actual candle.  Really.  Much.

- - -

I think that from that day onwards, I can never see matchsticks without thinking of the wonderful friend I found in A. 

Wedding Suppliers: first things first

After getting over (just a little bit) the high of our engagement, my husband and I decided on a date--range.

Our wedding date would be one year from our engagement date.  Not for any reason except that we felt we needed a year to plan our wedding.

We soft set two Saturdays in our minds and decided that the estimate would be a good enough gauge for the next few weeks when we would start talking to suppliers and booking big ticket items.

What are we talking about here?

Church
Reception Venue
Photographer
Videographer
Wedding Gown (Custom vs. Off the Rack)
Wedding Coordinator
Wedding Bands

Okay.  So maybe wedding bands arrangement was not really something urgent, but it was something I wanted to look into early in the game.

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I would probably write separate entries on the stories of each supplier.  Who we booked first, which suppliers we contacted--maybe I will omit some names.

Maybe I will share a lot of back stories.

Maybe. Maybe.

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Going back to the story, we later took on a wedding date that was not exactly one year, but very close to the anniversary of our engagement.

As the only thing we were sure of was the reception venue.  We immediately contacted the hotel.  As we were early, we had a free pass to choose any date from the month that we selected.

We were so eager to get the paperwork done so the date would be ours.  However, we were surprised that the events coordinator was being cool and overly relaxed to secure our deposit.

It won't be until we selected our wedding coordinator that we found out that things ran differently in Cebu.  It was not as cut throat as far as booking places and suppliers go in Manila.  People were generally more comfortable securing dates and bookings based on verbal agreements and personal relationships.

Long story short, while our reception venue was the first thing we wanted to book book, we had to rely on a verbal yes (not a contract, not even an email) that the venue was reserved for us.

If you know me, you would know how this would sit uncomfortably with me.  But in planning our wedding, I needed to trust our suppliers.

Trust me, I kept insisting that they take our money.  They wouldn't.  Instead, they reassured me that we were pencil booked.  And that was supposedly solid.  I literally asked them if I could get it inked.  They ignored me.

I was not too happy setting dates with the church and other suppliers with our reception venue not inked.  But like I said, when in Rome....

Needless to say, the pencil booking in Cebu, truly holds.

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This is where a side story comes into play.

Conversations with my brother and sister in law brought about another venue in Cebu.  It would be rare for either one practically beaming about a place that would suit the wedding they felt I had in mind.

They spoke of a quaint resort in Cebu that they had grown fond of.

As much as I trusted their opinion, I thought maybe to make things simpler, we should just stick with our first choice.

On a separate occasion, we were talking to our Wedding Coordinator (WC) about our vision of how our wedding would be.  Eyes sparkling, she said that maybe we should also look into another venue because it seemed perfect for what we had in mind.

What venue?  You guessed it.  THE SAME VENUE my brother and sister in law were talking about.

At this point, my husband and I could not longer ignore the obvious.  The other venue needs to be considered.  We had to check it out.

Long story short, we loved the other venue.  However, there were too many constraints.  In the end, while it was a good contender, our first option won. 

Note:  In hindsight, I know we made the right decision.

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It was only six months later that they finally agreed that we were ready to sign a contract.  Alleluia.  

And that is as exciting as our wedding reception venue booking story could go.

Photos to follow.

O Blogs: Cebu? B?

So this is my husband's first entry.   

People always ask us why we decided to get married in Cebu, I usually gave then a quick answer.  My husband, O usually doesn't answer the question.

This is his (late) answer to the big question mark.

Enjoy.

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When Tracy and I got engaged, there was very little doubt between the two of us that our wedding will be held in Cebu. 

Naturally, when we started telling people, the typical conversation was:

"Cebu?"

"Yes, in Cebu"

"But you're from xxxxx. Your wife-to-be is from Cebu?"

"No, she's from xxxxx"

"Why in Cebu?"

A lot of times, you will hear that ladies know what their wedding day will be like, even when they were still little girls.  As a man, you don't put too much thought into these things. 

I have not imagined mine to the smallest detail or much detail actually, but I always imagined that it will not be a hometown wedding. The idea of being in a villa somewhere, where families and friends come for a couple of days ending with a solemn wedding ceremony and reception had always been appealing. I probably had seen it in one too many romantic comedy movies back then. Today, this concept could simply be described as a destination wedding.

Cebu is not particularly special to us, but Shangri-la Mactan is.  A couple of years back, we had our vacation in Bohol and since our flight back to Singapore will be from Cebu, we decided to spend some nights in Shangri-la Mactan before heading home. 

Shangri-la Mactan is a really beautiful resort. It has swimming pools, gardens, spa, restaurants, bars, fitness centres and one long, very well-maintained beachfront. The place has everything you need and when you're there you would probably not want to spend your time elsewhere. 

I imagined it then, having the reception at that beachfront, families and friends laughing, cocktail drinks in their hands, awaiting Cebu lechon to be served.

For our wedding, we had that and more. 

It was fun seeing familiar faces during breakfast time. 

And having them come down for a quick drink before going to bed. 

And staying late because no one has to drive home. 

And having lunch with them before checking out.

October 2013. 

We had our wedding. 

We had a vacation with Tracy's family.

We had a vacation with my family.

We caught up with old friends.

We partied with new ones.

In Cebu.  

O Blogs: An Introduction

While lazing in bed the morning after our wedding, my husband looks at me seriously and says something I had been unable to imagine in my most imaginative state of mind.

I think you should introduce me in your blog as a guest blogger.  

I, wide eyed say nothing, so he could go on.  And (hopefully) on and on.

I could write about our wedding.

I'm thinking, is he really going through with this?  Something's caught in my throat, my heart is pounding, I am so excited.

Maybe I could write about our suppliers too.  It would be our 'thank you' to them.

Go on.   I feel like a kid opening a giant present!

We can email the link to different people so they can read the entries.

I smile.  He smiles.

We hold hands.  And fall asleep again.

---

Our honeymoon continues....

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What of my husband?

My husband doesn't have Facebook.  He doesn't have a blog.  He has a twitter account, but almost never posts.

There are very few people who actually have insight on who my husband is as a writer, blogger and thinker, but I think those who do know him would describe him as insightful.

We have a friend, who in drunken conversations would often say I hate O.  O being his reference to my husband and hate being, love perhaps.

Why does he say this?  It is because after hours spent with me talking about something--a situation for example, my husband chips in and then eureka.

I didn't realise that, but now that you've said it....  says the friend to O.

This trait of my husband, I am much aware of.  But every time it happens, I still go really love, you did it again.  

For his entries, I won't describe what to expect.  But I will tell you this, if you only know of him and not know him, know him--you may find yourself a little bit surprised.

how the ground shook before we got married

The day before our flight to our wedding, the ground trembled and a 400 year old church turned to shambles.

There was an earthquake.

A 7.1 magnitude earthquake.

It hit the central part of the Philippines--where our wedding would be.

---

I woke up in my childhood home and saw several messages on my phone.

It was early morning and my sister being the concerned person that she always is, made the horrible news known to me.

I read and reread her message and prayed for our friends in Cebu.

It was not until the next day that we were scheduled to fly in.

---

When I went to our living room, I heard the television in my parents' room.  My dad was watching the news.

I went in and looked at him.  He looked back at me concerned.

We both said nothing.

---

I sent a message to my fiancé and then went back to bed.

I just laid there.  Looking at the ceiling.  Staring.  Trying not to think.

What can I do? I asked myself.

The answer was clear.

Wait.

Pray.

And I did.

---

As the day progressed, I began to get more information about the damage the earthquake had caused.  And by early afternoon, I was ready to call the hotel where we were having our reception.  We had to decide our course of action.

I called.

I was told that the personnel were instructed not to provide any information.  It will be the comms director who would make a statement.

Not one hour passed when I received a call.  The hotel.  The building had been inspected.  They were back at Business as Usual (BAU) status.

She also told me that my Dad had called earlier and that she will be returning his call too.

---

Despite the good news, there were some concerning updates.

Aftershock.

Classes had been suspended too.

More casualties.

More photos (from Bohol).

---

Late evening, we decided that we'd fly the next day.

I knew my parents were very concerned for my safety, but also understood what it meant for myself and my fiancé.  They did not stop me.

---

The trip to the airport the next day was filled with take cares.  I can feel my Dad's anxiety.

---

We reached the airport and I met my fiancé at the departure area.

We held hands.

We were going to brave through it.

ceremony reading selection

As the ceremony is very important to my fiancé and myself, we spent some time looking for potential reading selections.

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He did an exemplary job summarising appropriate material and identifying his choices.  Most often he would mark something as either a top or second choice.  There was also one reading for which he only specified one preference.

---

He told me that I should read the selections and mark which ones spoke to me.

I did.

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Most of our choices were unanimous--except for the gospel.  

He opted for a wise man built his house on a rock.  He said that he felt this is especially meaningful to him because foundation is important to him.  He also talked about choosing well and how be continue to build on top of.

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I chose they are no longer two, but one flesh.  I feel that this is something that I must always remember. All my actions, all my decisions, I should now consider our family (only myself and him--for now).  This is something I am perfecting everyday, starting with small things like picking a dinning table and choosing which cable package to get.  I anticipate bigger things and harder decisions to make.

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In the end we, as a single unit chose they are no longer two, but one flesh.  

It was only fitting :)