like the movies

I'm not sure if it has something to do with the cycle or the moon, but today I felt lonely.

Not the hysterical-crying-while-sliding-down-the-wall-with-mouth-open but the calm loneliness you see in movies, when the protagonist makes tea, sits for a while in a bathrobe, both hands on the mug. No tea cups. Mug.

Only there was no tea.

I was not even at the kitchen.

I was just on my bed. Thinking. About nothing in particular. Just breathing. Eyes closed. Relaxing my body. Feeling.

Maybe I meditated too.

At the end, There was no grand discovery. I still don't know why I felt that way.

I said a short prayer of thanks, to remind myself how blessed I am. And to keep my promise to myself that I will always be grateful for things that I could easily take for granted.

maybe you have some advice to give

I really don't see myself as someone sensitive--in fact, I might as well be a log in other people's eyes. Even the eyes closest to me.

I find however that I could be a marshmallow during specific times of the month-- concerning specific things.

Craving.

(Luckily, I don't crave for marshmallows.)

But chips. Three-taste-tofu squares. Butterscotch-with-dried-mangoes. Ginger milk tea. Hazelnut and white chocolate eggs. And CHIPS. Yes. Chips.

In fact that caused the hurt feelings....

Jalapeño kettle chips.

------

It was not too dramatic to cause anything more than ten minutes of silence and give-take five frowns. But it is enough for me to consider truth in what some girl friends claim, "Women become emotional" during those days.

On second thought, it seems more likely it isn't the hormones but the fact that I'm just a compulsive snacker.

I need help.