after the love has gone

I'm not sure if this is something that everyone goes through, but for me this has happened too many times--one would think at this point I should already be used to it, but I guess I would never really get used to the pain.

What am I talking about?

You know how you have special clothes? It doesn't necessary have to be something extravagant, it could might as well be a white shirt, a pair of jeans, what have you. Basically, it is an article of clothing that for some reason looks extraordinarily good on you that each time you wear it, when you look yourself in the mirror, you think to yourself blusang itim.

As nothing lasts forever, there would be days wherein you realize that for some pieces, the magic has gone, like Neneng would say "namatay na ang flame".

And every time that happens, it still hurts.

And you comfort yourself with a yema the size of a ping pong ball--or five. Whatever.

margarita (and a salad) on me

How many times can I break till I shatter? she asks.

I think some people get broken the first round, some people just take the impact, crack some, move on and become more interesting. Don't hold your breath waiting for the falling apart, I have a feeling you are one of the latter.

(almost) closing time

2008.

How do I write about that?

When I really think about it. 2008 was about...

HIM.

Friends who visited. Friends who went away. Friends coming back.

Friends I made.

Friendships that changed. Friendships that endured.

Getting in touch with the past. Moving on.

Weddings. Engagements.

Weight that I lost--and gained back.

Trips.

Plans. Insurance Policies. Procedures.

Sewing stuff.

Suspicious people.

Sales and being Sales talked.

Surprises. "Somewhat" promises.

Sets. Subsets. Simulated ("end of day") sunsets.

Friday the 13th.

Fever. Persistent fever. That Sunday fever.

Lunches. "First" lunches.

Movies. Movie dates that happened. Movie dates that didn't happen.

Cryptic blog entries.

A crashing driver. A new tennis champion.

Millimeters.

The concert of the year.

Water therapy. Touch therapy. Retail therapy.

Walking. Talking. Talking while walking.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Fishing. Fish & Chips. Finding a favorite girl.

Seems like a lot of time spent thinking and re-thinking, I mean this is after all, the draft list . Coming up with the text for each is downright daunting. That is where the thinking (and writing) really kicks in.

I think I would leave it--for now. Or maybe, for good.

TGIF?

My colleagues and I are throwing my boss a going away dinner party tonight. It should be fun. We are going to a drink-all-you-can-sake-buffet, but I can't help but feel sad as it always pinches when you see a good person leave.

This reminds me of last Friday.

They say things like these always comes in threes.

What will I be doing next Friday?

white roses

I was looking at the arrangements that I have in my room and I saw something that made my heart skip. There were two new buds from the first bouquet that I never noticed before. Two white roses have started to bloom. Seriously.

fairground

I hate goodbyes

I don't know about the rest of the word, but for me, the default shoe color is black.

Mondays to Thursdays I wear black closed shoes unless I remember to wear my other coloured shoes as I'm trying to enforce a habit of rotating the shoes that I wear. On Fridays I wear sandals.

I am also enforcing the habit of giving away the clothes AND SHOES that I no longer use. My brother has this theory that if you haven't used something in the last six months, then chances are, there is someone out there who needs it more that you do. Every six months, he clears his closet and shoe cabinet of items to hand down. I think it is most ideal but I am afraid to say though, that it is likely to take some time before I would be able to practice such.

While going through life and trying to incorporated these new desirable habits into it, I found myself faced with a dilemma.

I have not worn two of my closed black shoes for a very long time, nearing a year now and it seems as though I have no plans of wearing them anytime soon. I am sort of saving them until all my other closed black shoes get run down.

My heart was pounding. Cinderella would understand completely.

I knew I had to let them go.

I knew in my heart that it was the right thing to do.

I told myself that I should let them go.

And I did.

I took a deep breath, took the boxes, re-polished the shoes for the last time, put them back to their boxes, shoe tree in place, paper wrapping intact, and prayed that the new owners would love them as much, if not more than I did.

10 Things I Hate About Posh

1. 1. She always has a stash of candy on her desk, ready for the taking.

2. She has a kick-ass camera that she always shared unselfishly. (I even refer to it as MY camera)

3. She always lends me DVDs.

4. She would send a SMS to ask if I want anything for miryenda.

5. She is the best roomate one could have in KL (perhaps anywhere) as she insists that you use the bathroom first. (Yey! Dry tiles!)

6. She would make a photo show of your outing and insist that it is "nothing".

7. She laughs at my lame jokes.

8. She would buy you ninja stars when she goes to Japan because she knows you like them so much.

9. She would give you her external hard drive cord if yours gets broken.

10. She listens and honestly tells you when your jeans get too tight.

I am going to miss seeing Posh everyday.

A most definitely better 2007

The nicest girl in Citi sent me this a few weeks--maybe months back. I forget. These are lines from the bad boy Russell Crowe's movie, A Good Year. I haven't seen the movie, but based on the trailer I saw it was about an overworked thirty-something guy who inherits a vineyard. He comes to Provence to check the place out and have it accessed for its resale value, as clearly, it does not fit his lifestyle, so he is selling. He meets someone. I guess the next part is where he realizes what really matters and mulls over on whether he should stay or go back to his life.

I didn't comment then, I refuse to comment now. Read on and go figure.

she: do you know the reason why i spent the night with you? it's because once you have done what you came here to do, you will not return. for as there can be no future, there is safety in that.

he: well, there is absolutely no stopping us from sitting in cafe in Notting Hill. London definitely needs a decent bistro.

she: how typical ... to assume that i live in Provence because i have no choice.

he: this place doesn't suit my life.

she: no, it's your life that doesn't suit this place.