exchange of vows

My husband and I exchanged personal vows and that was my favorite part of the wedding--I do have close seconds, thirds, fourths... you get the idea, but I can truly say that there is no question what topped the chart.

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The day after the wedding--we exchanged vows.

Again?  You ask.

No.  Not like that.

My husband asked for the copy I had during the ceremony--the one I read against.  He asked me if he could keep it.

Of course.  It was written for you.

In exchange, I asked for his.

It is yours.

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It had been almost two weeks since we got married and we are still talking about our vows.

It's beautiful--what he wrote.  I think I have memorised every line, but I still like looking at it.

I can't count how many times I sneaked a peek at my copy of his vows in its secret place.  And each time, the anticipation still makes it hard to breathe.

a glimpse, a thought, a smile

"I see you"

The Avatar reference, kind of creeps me out too.  Yes.

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My husband wears his ring everywhere.

Watching basketball, doing chores, sleeping.  I think he even wears it taking a bath.

The idea makes me smile a little bit.

Not for some ideal that committed men wear their rings for the world to see.  Or that it is a sign of loyalty.  It is not really a measure of anything.

Maybe it's because he is a strict-watch-only-guy.  Seeing how he truly embraces his transition to a wedding-band-and-watch-guy, is a good enough reason to smile more.

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Idea, check.

Reality?

What of everyday things?

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We'd be talking, or I'd ask him to pass the sugar, and there.  I see it.  I catch a glimpse of that sliver of metal around his finger and my heart stops.

I remember.  

I am reminded.

Every now and then.  I pause and think.

We are married.

WE ARE MARRIED.

And that is a good enough reason to smile all day long.

O Blogs: An Introduction

While lazing in bed the morning after our wedding, my husband looks at me seriously and says something I had been unable to imagine in my most imaginative state of mind.

I think you should introduce me in your blog as a guest blogger.  

I, wide eyed say nothing, so he could go on.  And (hopefully) on and on.

I could write about our wedding.

I'm thinking, is he really going through with this?  Something's caught in my throat, my heart is pounding, I am so excited.

Maybe I could write about our suppliers too.  It would be our 'thank you' to them.

Go on.   I feel like a kid opening a giant present!

We can email the link to different people so they can read the entries.

I smile.  He smiles.

We hold hands.  And fall asleep again.

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Our honeymoon continues....

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What of my husband?

My husband doesn't have Facebook.  He doesn't have a blog.  He has a twitter account, but almost never posts.

There are very few people who actually have insight on who my husband is as a writer, blogger and thinker, but I think those who do know him would describe him as insightful.

We have a friend, who in drunken conversations would often say I hate O.  O being his reference to my husband and hate being, love perhaps.

Why does he say this?  It is because after hours spent with me talking about something--a situation for example, my husband chips in and then eureka.

I didn't realise that, but now that you've said it....  says the friend to O.

This trait of my husband, I am much aware of.  But every time it happens, I still go really love, you did it again.  

For his entries, I won't describe what to expect.  But I will tell you this, if you only know of him and not know him, know him--you may find yourself a little bit surprised.

ode to my parents

I think I never thank my parents enough for everything they have done for me.

Sometimes it is so easy to say thanks for everything, but maybe saying thank you is when being specific counts.

my real life guardian angels

This won't be by far comprehensive, but maybe for today this would do.

Trust

Beyond the generation gap, I think my parents sometimes wonder how I think or what I would think or do.  I am what you can even consider a mystery to them.  However, despite the unknown, my parents trust me--maybe even blindly, because they love me.  I hope they know that even if I don't do the best job showing them, they are always in my mind and that I always strive to make them proud.

Acceptance

My parents accept me.  My stubbornness.  My strong will.  Even if sometimes they worry that I am threading dangerous ground or working with too many unknowns.  They accept that sometimes we need to agree to disagree and that is okay.  No two people are 100% in sync.

Prayer

Maybe I am so blessed because through prayer, my parents intercede for me. They always remind me to pray, to go to mass, to keep a bible, to remember that faith is important.  My mom would always say, it doesn't matter if you are christian, catholic, buddhist or whatever religion, what is important is you have faith.

Blood, Sweat and Tears

Life was not easy for my parents at the beginning and I know that they put in long hours to support us and provide for us.  Through this, they were able to provide not only the basic but a good life for us.  Up to now, my parents continue to work hard with us in mind.

I also thank them because through their example, I value a hard day's work and I hope when I have kids I am able to give them what my parents had provided me growing up.

 Second Wind, a Renewed Relationship

I thank my parents for not giving up on me--and not allowing our relationship to wither.  I am grateful for the relationship we have now and look forward to more years together.

Solid Foundation, My Rock

This may be my umbrella entry, but I am most thankful to my parents for being the steady strength that keeps me up.  Even now that I am married, I know that my parents will continue to support me and my husband in any way they can.  

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Mom and Dad,

     THANK YOU.

     I love you.

Trace

what i was told

When friends and family find out that you are engaged, they share tips on wedding preps, lessons learnt, personal experiences and grown up stuff.

I thought I'd write some hearsay, actual advise and my personal learnings.  Maybe not so much on the latter.

Do what you want.

 I wrote this one first because it was my brother who told me to do what I want.  He said that it is a once in a lifetime event and if you really want something--do it, get it.  The word to remember here is REALLY, as truly, you can't really want everything down to the napkins and tiny bows everywhere.  For the record, I think I did not bother with any special napkin treatment or told any supplier to put a bow on anything.

Eat before the wedding.  

The priest who officiated our wedding told us during the interview that I should eat.  He said that brides get dizzy because they are sometimes too busy before the wedding and forget to eat.  I think my friends would agree with me when I write that this would be the easiest advice to do for me.  I had a heavy buffet breakfast early morning.  Then I ate some more chicken, rice and spring rolls just before getting to the bridal car.

It will be over before you know it.

 I'd love if everyday can be my wedding day, but like all days it will pass.  Mine didn't feel like it was over too quickly.  In fact there were moments that feel like it was happening in slow motion.  As I recall the day at this moment, I felt that I have managed to pack a lot of things in without feeling exhausted at the end of the day.  It was like I was on natural high.

Enjoy it.

The priest told us to let go of the small things and just enjoy our day.  He knew that we were having a beach front reception so he especially mentioned rain.  I love how my now husband used to talk about preparing for the worse and hoping for the best.  No wedding is perfect from a planning and execution perspective, there will always be that one flower that is more in bloom than the rest, there is that drink that was 10ml more than the rest.  And it's okay.  Let it go.  It doesn't matter.

No one will notice that the pink of the flowers is not the pink you specified.

Maybe those were not the exact words but that is the idea that one of my newly wed friends told me.  No one but yourself and the coordinator knows what specification you gave--and if it was not exact no one would really care.

Say it.

 Odell and I took our time to write down the a list of people we would want to especially thank.  Sometimes we get caught up with the everyday that we forget to remind people how much we appreciate them.  Our wedding was the opportune time for us to tell our loved ones just that.

time to go home?

We had been back to Singapore for two days now and waiting to fly out for our honeymoon.

Throughout the day, I'd check the time and think that I should be heading home and then realise that I don't have to.  I am home. I now live here.  

I no longer need to be away from my husband.

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Finally, I can say "from now on" is my answer to the England Dan song, we'll never have to say goodbye again.

how the ground shook before we got married

The day before our flight to our wedding, the ground trembled and a 400 year old church turned to shambles.

There was an earthquake.

A 7.1 magnitude earthquake.

It hit the central part of the Philippines--where our wedding would be.

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I woke up in my childhood home and saw several messages on my phone.

It was early morning and my sister being the concerned person that she always is, made the horrible news known to me.

I read and reread her message and prayed for our friends in Cebu.

It was not until the next day that we were scheduled to fly in.

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When I went to our living room, I heard the television in my parents' room.  My dad was watching the news.

I went in and looked at him.  He looked back at me concerned.

We both said nothing.

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I sent a message to my fiancé and then went back to bed.

I just laid there.  Looking at the ceiling.  Staring.  Trying not to think.

What can I do? I asked myself.

The answer was clear.

Wait.

Pray.

And I did.

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As the day progressed, I began to get more information about the damage the earthquake had caused.  And by early afternoon, I was ready to call the hotel where we were having our reception.  We had to decide our course of action.

I called.

I was told that the personnel were instructed not to provide any information.  It will be the comms director who would make a statement.

Not one hour passed when I received a call.  The hotel.  The building had been inspected.  They were back at Business as Usual (BAU) status.

She also told me that my Dad had called earlier and that she will be returning his call too.

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Despite the good news, there were some concerning updates.

Aftershock.

Classes had been suspended too.

More casualties.

More photos (from Bohol).

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Late evening, we decided that we'd fly the next day.

I knew my parents were very concerned for my safety, but also understood what it meant for myself and my fiancé.  They did not stop me.

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The trip to the airport the next day was filled with take cares.  I can feel my Dad's anxiety.

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We reached the airport and I met my fiancé at the departure area.

We held hands.

We were going to brave through it.

grand master packer

It seems like packing and unpacking had consumed me the last few weeks.

Today, I again packed more stuff from my brother's house to our future flat.  I also started packing for my much awaited long holiday.

When I get back from my holiday, I will again have to pack (hopefully) the last of my stuff from my brother's.

After which, I'd have to pack again for another holiday.

Whew.

twilight?

There would be great weeks, but there would be weeks like last week.

Dark.  Bleak.  Possibly, depressing.

I really don't want to go into details, but recent events are reminders that life is very fragile.  That one single incident could change a life.  End a life.

I didn't help that my body decided that last week would be that faithful week in the cycle when dysmenorrhea comes about. 

Over the weekend, I could not count the number of times I stopped, closed my eyes and cried a little.  Out of physical pain and pain from potential losses.

I told myself over and over again that I should focus on what good is going on with my life and be grateful of all the blessings that I am receiving. 

I do. 

I am.

In these moments of tears, my fiance will hug me, or hold my hand.  Sometimes not saying anything, but in his way remind me it will pass, assure me that everything will turn out okay. 

Those acts alone, should be enough to remind me that life is good.

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I am feeling much better today. 

I feel rested.

Little, if any physical pain.

And who knows, maybe tonight, I'd get good news.  One that was surely worth the long wait.