At one point you would have thought that it takes only one act to ruin everything. If you are someone like me, it is something that you would more than sometimes think about.
If we talk human experiences, forgiveness seems to be the glue that brings back life to what had been shattered. It is to say that things are never the same but you have what seems to be or almost something like what was there pre-trauma. I can almost hear Neneng say may lamat na.
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Forgiveness doesn't come very easily for me, I am not sure if it is because well, there were not a lot of people I have had differences with. We are not talking about petty spats, rather BIG things. It could be words spoken, or trivial behavior. Events that change lives, ruin relationships, even slaughter respect, trust or dignity.
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It never fails to surprise me how certain acts make people forget about past experiences.
For example, a neglected child comes to an age that is legally allowed to drive and is given a cool car by the neglecting parents. All of a sudden, the audience shifts. There is no longer a poor child, rather a lucky person with wonderful parents and is an ideal candidate to swap lives with.
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While I am happy to move on, I become watchful of how relationships--once tainted, progress.
I find myself in monologue, trying to have a conversation in my head with God about forgiveness. Should I completely forget?
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I once saw a Discovery Channel feature on how sometimes the brain blocks certain things to protect the person. And this had happened to me in the past.
Once you remember, do you once again push it away so that you forget it forever?
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2 comments:
i remember i had this great love who cheated on me 2x.. on the 3rd attempt to fix things, i resigned to the thought that i could never live with myself knowing that he took me for granted.. so i gave him up, even if i loved him too much & i know he was trying to change. i wish i had the gift of blocking unpleasant memories.
I have been known to bury the hatchet with the handle sticking out. Forgiveness is an art I have not quite learned. Must be the Portuguese-Catholic in me... boy can we hold a grudge, and I am talking about generations! ;)
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