I want to nap. I can't. I had been tossing and turning the last half hour. Nothing. And it isn't like I am wide awake. My eyes are heavy, but it just won't go to the next level. Limbo.
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I had been looking into the mess that typhoon Undoy had left in the Philippines. There was one particular photo that is stuck in my head. The one from a place where something unpleasant has happened to me. I felt terrible.
As I was staring into the image, I was reminded of the happy times that I had spent there. There was none of the slightest anger or resentment. Beyond the real issues that are the lives, safety and future of the people affected lies very personally to me, letting go of a past life with remembrance of the goodness of that chapter.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
mister(s) right now
I know I should have stayed home and rested, but I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing two good friends from high school. (We also carpooled in college and continued to spend time together well after that.) I could honestly say that we have come a long way. I admit that I don't get to spend time with them whenever I go back to Manila--which is also not very often to begin with.
They flew in for the night race and since I am not fit to join them for that, I decided to spend the afternoon with them instead. 
Lunch was at my favorite chicken rice (and ribs!) place. I over ordered--which (almost) never happens! Apparently their appetites are no longer as I remembered. My bad. 
After lunch, we managed to do a little shopping. Okay, not really a little, it was more like...A LOT. We had dinner at a dingy bar I frequent for the chicken wings. It was a fun day. With my condition, I had to pop antibiotics a couple of times in between of everything that was happening. Oh well.
There is awe in once again confirming that you never really lose your place in someone's life. Sometimes it is as if from a different angle, or point of view, but that space is meant only for you.
Today, I had a blast with Mister(s) Right Now.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
knowing
While watching I love you, man, I thought that the person playing Robbie was familiar. My friend insisted that it was only because he looked like Ryan Agoncillo (why do they say everyone looks like Ryan Agoncillo?). Personally, he reminds me of Jason Biggs, but that is beside the point. I knew for a fact then that I had seen him somewhere before. Today I was re-acquanted with SNL's, D*ck in a box. And then I knew. It was him! Robbie! Well, Adam Samberg actually. Mystery solved.
He was also in the SNL Single Ladies stint :)
Image from mtv.com
Thursday, September 24, 2009
in SINGness and heatlh
This is my third day skipping work this week. This stint is the longest I have had in a long time. Let us not forget of the two week gig in 2006 and that one week in 2008.
It was only in Singapore that I experienced a lot of things.
Walang Gana. I always thought people who claimed they couldn't eat were just acting up for attention. When I got braces, it didn't stop me from eating the same, when I got retainers, it did not stop me from eating the same, when I am ill, it never stopped me from eating the same--until 2006. For the first time in my life, I was unable to eat. I was hungry, very hungry, but I just couldn't eat. My body won't let me. I recovered from the flu 8 lbs lighter and just when I thought I could keep my health and new size, I gained it all back. Getting a size smaller is not worth not eating for two weeks against your will.
Meds Trauma. We all know that meds are meant to make us feel better and not to tickle the taste buds. We don't take meds because it taste good, we take meds because we have to. The taste had never been a problem for me--until the Singapore issue cough medicine! I don't know if you have tried it, but it is just terrible. The thought of it makes me feel squirmish. Knowing that I have to take it thrice a day makes me think I could scare my self back to health. How about now?
Rashes. The dermatologists did not figure out the cause. They just insist that it was an allergy. To what? No answer. Great. I don't have any allergies, I am never allergic to anything--except this mystery allergen. Only in Singapore. It had been active for around three months. I hope it remains dormant for the rest of my life.
Overactive cells. I noticed a mosquito bite on my thigh. Days later, it started to grow. I thought that it definitely couldn't be a mosquito bite. I self medicated with topical creams. It just grew more. After I had it checked, the doctors said that it was harmless but because it was growing so rapidly, they recommend it to be removed. What was it? A blood vessel cell that found itself on the surface of the skin and decided to multiply. Whoa.
Worn out soles. Okay, so this isn't health related. But I want to put it in anyways. It is only in Singapore that I have thrown out shoes because the soles had worn out. Seriously.
It was only in Singapore that I experienced a lot of things.
Walang Gana. I always thought people who claimed they couldn't eat were just acting up for attention. When I got braces, it didn't stop me from eating the same, when I got retainers, it did not stop me from eating the same, when I am ill, it never stopped me from eating the same--until 2006. For the first time in my life, I was unable to eat. I was hungry, very hungry, but I just couldn't eat. My body won't let me. I recovered from the flu 8 lbs lighter and just when I thought I could keep my health and new size, I gained it all back. Getting a size smaller is not worth not eating for two weeks against your will.
Meds Trauma. We all know that meds are meant to make us feel better and not to tickle the taste buds. We don't take meds because it taste good, we take meds because we have to. The taste had never been a problem for me--until the Singapore issue cough medicine! I don't know if you have tried it, but it is just terrible. The thought of it makes me feel squirmish. Knowing that I have to take it thrice a day makes me think I could scare my self back to health. How about now?
Rashes. The dermatologists did not figure out the cause. They just insist that it was an allergy. To what? No answer. Great. I don't have any allergies, I am never allergic to anything--except this mystery allergen. Only in Singapore. It had been active for around three months. I hope it remains dormant for the rest of my life.
Overactive cells. I noticed a mosquito bite on my thigh. Days later, it started to grow. I thought that it definitely couldn't be a mosquito bite. I self medicated with topical creams. It just grew more. After I had it checked, the doctors said that it was harmless but because it was growing so rapidly, they recommend it to be removed. What was it? A blood vessel cell that found itself on the surface of the skin and decided to multiply. Whoa.
Worn out soles. Okay, so this isn't health related. But I want to put it in anyways. It is only in Singapore that I have thrown out shoes because the soles had worn out. Seriously.
Monday, September 21, 2009
trust agenda
Recently, I had been asked at work what Trust Agenda meant to me. While it takes a second to think about and decide what it translates to, it takes a much longer time when it comes to its application in my personal life.
While I trust in people, I find that lately I have trouble trusting my trust in people.
No. It isn't paranoia. I think it is over application of lessons learnt.
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After much ado, I realized that it was not trusting that got me the first time. It was failure to recognize changes. No wait. It wasn't that too. It was, failure to acknowledge changes.
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It is funny how it takes a company campaign for me to re-evaluate one of the hardest lessons I learned.
While I trust in people, I find that lately I have trouble trusting my trust in people.
No. It isn't paranoia. I think it is over application of lessons learnt.
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After much ado, I realized that it was not trusting that got me the first time. It was failure to recognize changes. No wait. It wasn't that too. It was, failure to acknowledge changes.
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It is funny how it takes a company campaign for me to re-evaluate one of the hardest lessons I learned.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
remedy
I had been suffering for a while now, my very sore throat just won't recover.
My colleagues advised me of a Hongkie remedy. Warm Coke (as in coca cola) with lime.
It is weird right? I was sure I was not gonna try it out, so I started joking about using Coke Light as that was what we have at home. They said they were not sure. We had a good laugh then moved on to the next topic.
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Today, I lost my voice. Seriously. I couldn't sing Katy Perry stuff!
I had finished my second bottle of Pei Pa Koa and lost count of the lozenges I had taken. I was desperate.
I thought that there really wasn't anything to lose. I didn't even bother to google it. I headed to the kitchen.
I opened our ref and found not Coke, not Coke Light but Coke Zero. There was also an absence of lime or calamansi, we however had lemon.
I poured the entire can into a glass, squeezed the lemon--and off to the microwave it went.
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It didn't taste weird at all. It felt funny in my mouth and throat though. It was warm, bubbly and tangy. It was--interesting. It also relieved my throat. Of course it might be psychological--or, divine intervention as I was praying for a break through.
Maybe I should do a bit of research.
My colleagues advised me of a Hongkie remedy. Warm Coke (as in coca cola) with lime.
It is weird right? I was sure I was not gonna try it out, so I started joking about using Coke Light as that was what we have at home. They said they were not sure. We had a good laugh then moved on to the next topic.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today, I lost my voice. Seriously. I couldn't sing Katy Perry stuff!
I had finished my second bottle of Pei Pa Koa and lost count of the lozenges I had taken. I was desperate.
I thought that there really wasn't anything to lose. I didn't even bother to google it. I headed to the kitchen.
I opened our ref and found not Coke, not Coke Light but Coke Zero. There was also an absence of lime or calamansi, we however had lemon.
I poured the entire can into a glass, squeezed the lemon--and off to the microwave it went.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It didn't taste weird at all. It felt funny in my mouth and throat though. It was warm, bubbly and tangy. It was--interesting. It also relieved my throat. Of course it might be psychological--or, divine intervention as I was praying for a break through.
Maybe I should do a bit of research.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
proverbial
A friend told me today that I was a living proof that love is blind.
I was baffled.
So I asked if it was because she didn't think a certain person was attractive. Of course, that was a joke. I however, seriously didn't get what she meant.
So I asked her to elaborate.
She said that it was because I endured the troubles of a relationship past and literally did not recognise the errs of the then present.
At some point I decided that such was the right thing, and all my actions from then on followed through.
I was not blinded by love, rather I was compelled to work towards a goal blindly.
I was never ever one to reason "because I love him" or argue "but, I love him". While I loved with all that I was capable of at that time, I don't think it was (blind) love that allowed things to progress. It was...well, a carrot.
I was baffled.
So I asked if it was because she didn't think a certain person was attractive. Of course, that was a joke. I however, seriously didn't get what she meant.
So I asked her to elaborate.
She said that it was because I endured the troubles of a relationship past and literally did not recognise the errs of the then present.
At some point I decided that such was the right thing, and all my actions from then on followed through.
I was not blinded by love, rather I was compelled to work towards a goal blindly.
I was never ever one to reason "because I love him" or argue "but, I love him". While I loved with all that I was capable of at that time, I don't think it was (blind) love that allowed things to progress. It was...well, a carrot.
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