precioussssss

We went to the jeweller's last week for our wedding bands.

It was the first time they were seeing me as my fiancé took care of my engagement ring.

And so, they were asking about how my ring had been so far.  Standard questions really.  When the specialist looked at my hand, he said that he is surprised the ring had never fallen off and then practically begged me to have it resized.

My mom and friends had told me the same.

After five months, I am used to how it feels around my finger and I am not sure if I want to go a size down.   

It feels like tightening the belt literally and the idea that something prohibitive fits snugly doesn't sit comfortably with me.

Admittedly, in the cold (as in when in an air conditioned room) I do feel the ring becoming loose.  And there would be times that I push it down to the very bottom of my ring finger and (maybe) unconsciously, stick my little, ring and tall fingers together--as if in a huddle.

I also tense my fingers when I wash my hands to make sure the ring stays put.  

Maybe because I seemed so reluctant, the specialist demonstrated how easily the ring can slide off.  He also got a few rings one size down just to let me feel the size.

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In the end, I did the right thing and had it sized down.

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It took three business days to get it back.

What really surprised me was how I felt its absence.

I would huddle the same three fingers and feel surprised that I am not squeezing anything.

When I chance upon my left hand, I no longer just see the tan line left by my wristwatch.  A spot had been created on my left ring finger.  There is some physical marking, which reminds me that something is missing, that something should be there.

I love my ring.  Physically, and even more so, what it stands for.  I surprised myself though, realising just how attached I am to it.

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I had become, Gollum.

And this made me a little uneasy.

Maybe not a Gollum, perhaps a Frodo at one point.  While I was not consumed by the absence of it, I missed it more that I thought I would.

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I got my ring back yesterday.

I am still adjusting, but I feel that I had made the right decision.  Somehow I can feel that it is more secure.  The stone also don't slide to one side anymore--at least not as much.