lost

Before Rhea asks, let me just say that I didn't lose any friends, not this time :)

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I thought about friendship and how sometimes we lose touch because we are away from each other, too busy, changed. Maybe we lost reason to talk or hang out. While I don't particularly enjoy somewhat losing touch with someone because our lives had moved on, I recognise that such is life and that truly, your friends will remain your friends. And maybe at another point in your life, you'd meet again.

Last year, I met my college girlfriends (we missed you Pampooh!) again after a very long time, and it was like time didn't change what we were to each other. Sure we were facing different things now but I knew, I knew and felt that I was amongst friends.

I'm hopeful for another reunion late this year :)

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That was about losing touch.

But what of losing a friendship?

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I came close to losing a friend once because I was stupid. i didn't think that he would have understood if I told him what was bothering me about our friendship. It lasted for a couple of years too. I really drove him away. You can even say, literally.

Luckilly, i woke up one day and realised that I sucked.

I knew there was no way I could take back all those times that I knew I was making him miserable--and continued on ignoring him.

He gave me another chance.

You see, in this particular scenario, perhaps, he was wiser than I was.

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Are all friendships worth saving?

I hate to say this, but honestly, I'd say...

NO

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I was talking to someone the other day. She was asking how I felt about the chaos that surrounds her social circle. Not wanting to spill her story, I'd jump right to what I told her.

"Good riddance. Do not beat yourself too hard over losing that person. You don't deserve to be treated that way. If she truly was your friend, she would at least have given you some repect. You might not feel it now because you are hurting, but when it stops you will feel grateful that she is out of you life, leaving more room for people who truly love you."

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I've decided a long time ago that I will chose the people I let into my life--only because I truly cannot afford to waste time "making do" with the company I hold.

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It's almost 3AM and after a few couple of drinks, I'm feeling sentimental.

So right here, I'd say that everyday I am thankful for having wonderful people in my life :)

samson

I'm cutting my hair. This weekend.

And just when I was feeling overly excited, having booked my stylist who was initially lost, I came across a photo of this lovely painting.It is Hendy Edmon Cross' Hair.

And just to add fuel my my sudden flame of doubt. I saw my photo--literally out-of-bed hair looking like this.The person I'm with always tells me he loves my hair. Short. Long. Layered. Curled. Unwashed... I'm not sure. But I do know that he truly believes that as far as my hair goes, it would work out.

With this much support, your doubt tends to go away :)
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Saturday. It is.

dreams and reality

There were so many lovely pieces in the exhibit I went to a few weeks ago. But before I post some of my favorites, I'd do the obligatory photo reference to my date of birth. I have the same for 1980 at Tate Modern, it was only fitting that I do a 1880 this time :)What were my favorites?

Starry Night. Oh my God. Floored. I spent a good five to ten minutes just looking at it.

No contest.

But what of the other paintings? There perhaps would be eight that caught my eye, but I'd just post the three that I loved the most.Venus in Paphos. This was the first painting that I truly loved in the exhibit that I went back to look at it three times.Birth of Venus. I think I have a thing about 'birth of venus' paintings! This obviously is not the whole painting, but I kind of liked it cropped this way :)

(truly) a cupcake post

I am not big on cupcakes. While I'd enjoy a cupcake every now and then, I don't particularly crave for cupcakes.

Don't ask me why I bought another cupcake from one of my favorite cafes that (I know for a fact) don't really have good cupcakes. I just did.

Surprise!

It was not bad! :)

Not the best in any case--but good enough for me to think that maybe the first two ones were exceptions.

What's the history?

First cupcake -- horribly dry cake, poor chocolate topping, flaky. Like chocolate that melted, moistened and chilled again. Old chocolate.

Second cupcake -- dry cake, forgettable strawberry butter cream.

And now, the latest cupcake...

Third cupcake -- average banana cake, good butterscotch and caramel centre, average chocolate topping.

"may lamat"

It is not easy to accept that someone you trust is betraying you, that's why sometimes it goes too long before you do anything about it.

I think I've known for a long time, but it wasn't till a few weeks ago that I admitted to the possibility and looked into it.

While I am not "too trusting" in general, there is however a handful of people that I trust.

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Early last year I thought that it "seemed" that I was losing small quantities of certain items, incrementally.

I remember thinking that, then just shrugging it off.

Every now and then, I would be reminded but I continued to ignore it.

Around November, something shifted perhaps in me that I started to monitor things. Even when I was sure, I wanted to validate it. Maybe because I was hoping that I was wrong.

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The other day, I had decided to confront the trusted person.

There was no accusation, no loud voices, not even an exchange.

I just asked a question.

Would you know how this could happen, because I know for a fact that I'm losing?

Without waiting for an answer, I said what I'll do on my part to prevent losing more.

Then I said no more and that was the end of our conversation. Or my statement.

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That was me giving someone a chance to change.

But quite honestly, our relationship has changed forever.

national title

Today was museum day. It was the last chance I had to see The Starry Night--it was the perfect excuse to skip yoga class today.

I'm going tomorrow. I promise.

I've always wanted to take a few photos of the giant capsicum on the other side of the museum. While I often chance by it whenever we go walking, I somehow never have my camera with me.

Today was not only museum day but tourist picture taking day too!

When I saw the placement of the signage, I could not resist the opportunity. I knew I had to pose as the national muse ;)

was it good?

My best friend asks me after I posted the same photo on her wall. So, was it? I ask myself.

I think the better question would be what was I expecting?

I think I am making this more complicated that it actually is, and I think too that I should start at the beginning.

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There are two previous occasions where we had come across this cupcake.

The first time, we just finished a VERY hearty meal and there was no way we could take another bite. But looking at them made my mouth water, and I had convinced myself that I was hungry. Luckily, someone wonderful pointed out that it wouldn't be a good idea to get a cupcake. In fact, it was a horrible idea.

The second time was slightly more complicated. We had a lighter meal compared to the first incident--that was no means light, just so I am absolutely clear. We later had drinks--yes, drinks in the cafe and at some point found that there was actually room for a cupcake. But just when we were about to order, a dozen chicken wings from another establishment miraculously found its way to our table.

Sorry girls.

Then, tonight.

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I am quite sorry that my best friend was not with me. But let me tell you about the cupcake. And my thoughts.

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I always thought that the cupcake appealed to me, but I also always knew that it wouldn't be great.

Not only not great, in fact, I knew it was going to be so so.

Why?

1. High expectations - I've imagined what it should taste like.
2. Anticipation - Two. Failed. Attempts.
3. Experience - I've had one cupcake from this place before and it was quite dry.

So there I was, knowing what I knew, feeling that feeling in my gut yet I just went with it.

And after everything. I think to myself, I knew what was gonna happen, I knew it was not worth all the drama. For a fact. What did I expect?

Nothing that didn't happen.

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I can't help but feel that it was all wasted time.

But, oh well.

There really wasn't anything else to do but move on--to what I know would truly make me happy :)

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Past tense?