I had started this process the month we got engaged--the process of incrementally cleaning out my stuff.
Drawers. Containers.
Shoes. Clothes. Make Up.
Medicine Supply. Toiletries.
Everything.
It lasted for a month.
---
Over the weekend, I re-started it and I know that this time, it has to happen!
---
I had taken out six pairs of shoes and one flip flops.
I also gave up a miniature burger model I got from McDonald's.
I threw away four pens, bills and bank statements more than 6 months back.
I cleared nine trousers and three tops.
I donated toiletries that would spoil on me. Yes, that 1L body wash.
You'd think that would make a dent.
No.
My room is the underdog of storage room potential. You'd think there is no room for much, but let me tell you, it can hold a LOT!
---
I am going through three containers of clothes the next few days and after that I'll tackle the mountain that is my folded house clothes and the others.
The others being, clothes I just throw into my closet. Clothes I had never worn or clothes I never wear--but feel I would (at some point I can't foresee anytime soon). Others are what could be more appropriately called 'lessons learnt'.
---
Wish me luck, offer a short prayer or send positive vibes my way. This is a mountain I need to climb!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
could it be our first nest?
We had our first ever home viewing day last Saturday. After seeing the second one, we didn't want to look at another.
I know.
That would seem premature, but it felt right.
I always (I try!) listen to my gut and this time it was telling me go.
---
After discussing amongst ourselves, we decided to make an offer.
---
We did come prepared. My fiance had been wonderful reading up, checking for available flats, shortlisting maybes, reviewing travel routes, visiting forums and talking to agents.
So it isn't like we went in blindly.
---
I love how after leaving the unit we smiled at each other knowingly.
He felt it too.
---
It was emotional for me because I imagined our married life unfolding in that setting.
I imagined long talks, silent evening, lazy Sundays and hurried mornings.
I pictured trial recipes, afternoon drinks, movie marathons and domestic chores.
I pictured us, discovering each other with that as backdrop.
---
His thoughts were the guy version of mine, which was simply this looks to be the one.
---
I can't wait to get that message from the agent saying you just leased your first home.
I know.
That would seem premature, but it felt right.
I always (I try!) listen to my gut and this time it was telling me go.
---
After discussing amongst ourselves, we decided to make an offer.
---
We did come prepared. My fiance had been wonderful reading up, checking for available flats, shortlisting maybes, reviewing travel routes, visiting forums and talking to agents.
So it isn't like we went in blindly.
---
I love how after leaving the unit we smiled at each other knowingly.
He felt it too.
---
It was emotional for me because I imagined our married life unfolding in that setting.
I imagined long talks, silent evening, lazy Sundays and hurried mornings.
I pictured trial recipes, afternoon drinks, movie marathons and domestic chores.
I pictured us, discovering each other with that as backdrop.
---
His thoughts were the guy version of mine, which was simply this looks to be the one.
---
I can't wait to get that message from the agent saying you just leased your first home.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
life lessons and my wedding shoes
I bought my wedding shoes early on. I think it was literally the first thing I bought for the wedding.
I had been eyeing it for a while but because I couldn't justify the purchase, I was content just looking at it online.
When we got engaged, I thought maybe.
--- I still couldn't get around the idea of spending that much on something I knew for a fact I'd wear at most, thrice in this lifetime--or until it falls apart in the shoe box.
I had been eyeing it for a while but because I couldn't justify the purchase, I was content just looking at it online.
When we got engaged, I thought maybe.
--- I still couldn't get around the idea of spending that much on something I knew for a fact I'd wear at most, thrice in this lifetime--or until it falls apart in the shoe box.
I mean these were great shoes but in an outrageous kind of great. Maybe fantastic is the word.
---
As it was not available where I live, I could only get it online.
---
As it was not available where I live, I could only get it online.
I recognise (all too well) the risks.
---
A month went by and I decided it wasn't worth it.
NO SHOE, I feel is worth this much suffering.
---
I put the these shoes and thinking about what shoes to wear out of my mind for a while.
I needed a break from wedding-shoes-land.
The fit, the look... anything and everything could go wrong.
I'm not sure I like it enough to risk so much.
---
A once-in-a-lifetime online sale got it to a price that I was willing to pay. Having the last piece in my size told me that it was destined.
---
When I received it, it looked both too big and too small to me at the same time. You'd think that would translate to perfect right? Wrong.
---
A once-in-a-lifetime online sale got it to a price that I was willing to pay. Having the last piece in my size told me that it was destined.
---
When I received it, it looked both too big and too small to me at the same time. You'd think that would translate to perfect right? Wrong.
It looked so chunky, like high top sneakers.
It also looked tiny, where you'd slot your foot in.
----
It look everything I had in me to get my feet it.
I needed to expand these shoes. Badly.
THIS HAD TO BE THE ONE. I MUST MAKE IT WORK!
---
I'd wear it around the house with horrible thick socks just to loosen it.
A few days later, I'd find that it had gone back to the original size.
It went on for a couple of weeks, it was exhausting and frustrating!
In all honestly, it was the first time in my life that I felt so uncomfortable wearing shoes--I had headaches, literally. And I've had my share of ridiculous shoes!
I needed to expand these shoes. Badly.
THIS HAD TO BE THE ONE. I MUST MAKE IT WORK!
---
I'd wear it around the house with horrible thick socks just to loosen it.
A few days later, I'd find that it had gone back to the original size.
It went on for a couple of weeks, it was exhausting and frustrating!
In all honestly, it was the first time in my life that I felt so uncomfortable wearing shoes--I had headaches, literally. And I've had my share of ridiculous shoes!
---
A month went by and I decided it wasn't worth it.
NO SHOE, I feel is worth this much suffering.
---
I put the these shoes and thinking about what shoes to wear out of my mind for a while.
I needed a break from wedding-shoes-land.
---
One day an idea caught me off guard--it was about wedding shoes. Gasp!
I know... I knew which shoe I would wear.
---
I looked into my unused shoe stash and found it.
---
I looked into my unused shoe stash and found it.
I didn't put it on immediately as I wanted the idea to brew.
Days turned to weeks and more I thought about it, the stronger my resolve.
---
Today, I took it out to try on for the first time since I had decided it would be the one.
And...
What do you know, I had a Cinderella moment.
---
Sometimes, a great idea is just that--a great idea.
If only I had accepted that earlier on, I would have saved myself a lot of headache.
Today, I took it out to try on for the first time since I had decided it would be the one.
And...
What do you know, I had a Cinderella moment.
---
Sometimes, a great idea is just that--a great idea.
If only I had accepted that earlier on, I would have saved myself a lot of headache.
---
In hindsight, I realise that in my heart and mind, I've always known it wasn't the one. Maybe it was the high from our engagement, the idea of ticking off a checkbox, or the online sale. Maybe all three.
Whichever it was though, I was deciding based on (all) the wrong reason(s).
---
I'm happiest about this decision and it came at the best possible time :)
Sunday, July 21, 2013
true interests revealed?
 |
I have a photo each for a snack, a tapas dish I ordered, a ticket to a play, an eye look, some romaine (my salad to be), and a seven year old photo with my sister and my niece.
I have two shoe photos.
The rest--around seventy percent are images of food (and one drink) that I had prepared. This is interesting. It makes me think of whether I am more interested in food preparation than I let myself on?
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
COOKING monster
I am getting consumed gathering, trying and tweaking recipes for when my fiance and I start living together after our wedding.
The idea that I can control all the dishes at home is empowering for me. Really.
That idea had always made me smile a little bit. Even a lot.
To be fair, in our current household we all "chip in" suggestions when listing out what our menu would be for the week. And we do take into consideration each person's preference or dietary needs.
When I was still living with my parents, I could always "request" for certain dishes to be cooked.
So it isn't really that I felt powerless to influence food in the past.
---
To be honest I am getting the 'mad scientist' feeling right now. This moment. Just thinking about it.
It's near!
(Evil laugh)
---
What are the things I want to cook?
A LOT.
---
I think what really excites me about this is that I can make a my own curriculum taking into consideration skills I want to learn and improve on while churning out food our consumption :)
My fiance pretty much eats everything. I love how he is expressive about general things including his appreciation of my cooking. He also makes 'requests'.
I sometimes tweak things so that he would like it more. There are other times where we have the same main and different sides.
---
I'm keeping this feeling from my mom--for now. And only because I don't want her to stress herself documenting all her recipes in time for our wedding.
The idea that I can control all the dishes at home is empowering for me. Really.
That idea had always made me smile a little bit. Even a lot.
To be fair, in our current household we all "chip in" suggestions when listing out what our menu would be for the week. And we do take into consideration each person's preference or dietary needs.
When I was still living with my parents, I could always "request" for certain dishes to be cooked.
So it isn't really that I felt powerless to influence food in the past.
---
To be honest I am getting the 'mad scientist' feeling right now. This moment. Just thinking about it.
It's near!
(Evil laugh)
---
What are the things I want to cook?
A LOT.
---
I think what really excites me about this is that I can make a my own curriculum taking into consideration skills I want to learn and improve on while churning out food our consumption :)
My fiance pretty much eats everything. I love how he is expressive about general things including his appreciation of my cooking. He also makes 'requests'.
I sometimes tweak things so that he would like it more. There are other times where we have the same main and different sides.
---
I'm keeping this feeling from my mom--for now. And only because I don't want her to stress herself documenting all her recipes in time for our wedding.
Monday, July 8, 2013
round i: muay thai
I saw a pretty good deal for Muay Thai classes a couple of weeks back, since I knew my fiancé had been wanting to try it out for a while, I signed us up.
We had our first class last Saturday. And wow. It was tough.
It started off with skipping rope--no issue for me since I've always skipped rope as a child. I remember learning to skip rope over one summer. You get so used to skipping rope with friends that when you have to do it yourself, you're like oh okay, I need to be the one to get the rope under my feet and over my head using my wrists. Teaching yourself how to skip rope takes a lot of awkward jumping and rope manipulation. Good thing I did it when I was young as I'm not sure how many failed jumps I would commit to as an adult.
It is like riding a bike though, so while I wasn't that great the first few tries, my body just started doing it by itself after it had warmed up. Endurance is another matter however.
We continued with some stretching--this was the easy part for me because compared to some yoga classes we attend, stretching exercises for muay thai were quite basic.
We did some cardio then it it was time for punches and kicks.
Note that I had NEVER attended a boxing class before, even the cute ones offered at local gyms. So I had to consciously think about the shoulders--moving with it. Putting it there with my punch.
The teacher would introduce some variation--adding an elbow, a foot switch, a knee here and there.
After doing it in place a few times, it was time for the bags. We had to hit the bags in various combinations based on logical sequencing.
In between punches and kicks we were asked to do push ups and sit ups. The sit ups I can manage. The push ups--not so. I would move up and down a range of 3 inches. I still did my best to complete each set though.
There were a lot of leg raises too, which were tough but still feasible for me.
In the end, I was so tired, but happy that I tried it out. I even looked forward to next Saturday.
I would have loved more stretching after the class, since my body was so warm from the exercises.
----
I woke up sore on Sunday.
I COULD NOT WALK.
My calves were screaming every time I extend my legs.
Every step, my legs said hello.
Some pain in the hip flexors but it was okay, it was familiar as this is targeted by certain yoga poses.
But my calves. Oh my.
I was not able to go to yoga class.
I am hoping I could go on Tuesday, just to stretch out these muscles. As much as I want to practice some at home, I think I should listen to my body and stay put.
---
Yes. I am attending this Saturday.
We had our first class last Saturday. And wow. It was tough.
It started off with skipping rope--no issue for me since I've always skipped rope as a child. I remember learning to skip rope over one summer. You get so used to skipping rope with friends that when you have to do it yourself, you're like oh okay, I need to be the one to get the rope under my feet and over my head using my wrists. Teaching yourself how to skip rope takes a lot of awkward jumping and rope manipulation. Good thing I did it when I was young as I'm not sure how many failed jumps I would commit to as an adult.
It is like riding a bike though, so while I wasn't that great the first few tries, my body just started doing it by itself after it had warmed up. Endurance is another matter however.
We continued with some stretching--this was the easy part for me because compared to some yoga classes we attend, stretching exercises for muay thai were quite basic.
We did some cardio then it it was time for punches and kicks.
Note that I had NEVER attended a boxing class before, even the cute ones offered at local gyms. So I had to consciously think about the shoulders--moving with it. Putting it there with my punch.
The teacher would introduce some variation--adding an elbow, a foot switch, a knee here and there.
After doing it in place a few times, it was time for the bags. We had to hit the bags in various combinations based on logical sequencing.
In between punches and kicks we were asked to do push ups and sit ups. The sit ups I can manage. The push ups--not so. I would move up and down a range of 3 inches. I still did my best to complete each set though.
There were a lot of leg raises too, which were tough but still feasible for me.
In the end, I was so tired, but happy that I tried it out. I even looked forward to next Saturday.
I would have loved more stretching after the class, since my body was so warm from the exercises.
----
I woke up sore on Sunday.
I COULD NOT WALK.
My calves were screaming every time I extend my legs.
Every step, my legs said hello.
Some pain in the hip flexors but it was okay, it was familiar as this is targeted by certain yoga poses.
But my calves. Oh my.
I was not able to go to yoga class.
I am hoping I could go on Tuesday, just to stretch out these muscles. As much as I want to practice some at home, I think I should listen to my body and stay put.
---
Yes. I am attending this Saturday.
the last two months
This had been the longest time that I had not written anything. Two months. Really. May and June.
I wish I could say that I was busy with something important, but the truth is I was just out of it. I tried to write a few times but while at it, I just felt that I didn't really want to say anything.
---
My good friend, Buttercup asked me to write some more because she felt she had noa news from me due to the lack of entries.
What had I been up to?
Hmmmmmm.
---
Wedding Planning
The most convenient excuse for being busy to the point of have no time for anything else. Only, we hadn't been.
I sometimes feel that we are forgetting something because the past months there hadn't been much happening apart from sending emails, having calls and producing guidelines. And even then, it wasn't a full time job.
(I have friends who were drowning with wedding tasks during theirs.)
My wedding coordinator assured me that we are on track.
It isn't there yet if you are obsessive. I could be, and it is interesting that I am leaving some stones unturned.
I'm having my third fitting in exactly a month's time, I am dead excited about that!
Weight Watchers
I had three people ask me if I am planning to lose weight for the wedding. I think they are trying to tell me something? No?
I do know a few people who specifically told me that they are determined to lose weight for my wedding. Am I being dense thinking this has nothing to do with the previous line?
The Office
I did get a promotion this year--that is great news.
Before the shift to the new role though, I need to fill in for a colleague who is heading back to the US. Till when? Indefinitely!
Needless to say, there is a lot of new things happening in this front.
New Home (Sweet Home)
With getting married, comes moving out.
While I do love the idea that in a few month's time we get to play house for real (some oxymoron there), I know that I'd miss my brother and sister in law. They had provided me with a home the last nine years and though it isn't, it feels like goodbye :(
My fiancé had started scouting homes. We should be starting to view flats in a couple of weeks.
---
I think I'll stop here for now. More entries soon--I hope.
I wish I could say that I was busy with something important, but the truth is I was just out of it. I tried to write a few times but while at it, I just felt that I didn't really want to say anything.
---
My good friend, Buttercup asked me to write some more because she felt she had noa news from me due to the lack of entries.
What had I been up to?
Hmmmmmm.
---
Wedding Planning
The most convenient excuse for being busy to the point of have no time for anything else. Only, we hadn't been.
I sometimes feel that we are forgetting something because the past months there hadn't been much happening apart from sending emails, having calls and producing guidelines. And even then, it wasn't a full time job.
(I have friends who were drowning with wedding tasks during theirs.)
My wedding coordinator assured me that we are on track.
It isn't there yet if you are obsessive. I could be, and it is interesting that I am leaving some stones unturned.
I'm having my third fitting in exactly a month's time, I am dead excited about that!
Weight Watchers
I had three people ask me if I am planning to lose weight for the wedding. I think they are trying to tell me something? No?
I do know a few people who specifically told me that they are determined to lose weight for my wedding. Am I being dense thinking this has nothing to do with the previous line?
The Office
I did get a promotion this year--that is great news.
Before the shift to the new role though, I need to fill in for a colleague who is heading back to the US. Till when? Indefinitely!
Needless to say, there is a lot of new things happening in this front.
New Home (Sweet Home)
With getting married, comes moving out.
While I do love the idea that in a few month's time we get to play house for real (some oxymoron there), I know that I'd miss my brother and sister in law. They had provided me with a home the last nine years and though it isn't, it feels like goodbye :(
My fiancé had started scouting homes. We should be starting to view flats in a couple of weeks.
---
I think I'll stop here for now. More entries soon--I hope.
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