losing him

Over the last two years, a lot of my friends lost their dads. Maybe we are at that age, or maybe these are just coincidences.

I have no idea.

What I do know is that most, if not all of them told me I should find mine.

I didn't. Try to find him, that is.

What I mean is that, he looked for me.

Despite the re acquaintance, I know for a fact that he is still trying to find me, to get to know me--finally. So he could understand what kind of a person I am, discover me.

I used to say that he doesn't know me. And it is true. I bet he would admit to that much. But maybe, before he reaches seventy, he would figure out who his daughter is, if only at (almost) thirty, I'd let him.

old is relative

check please

Today, I really wanted to be there for my best friend. I know that in times such as now, she needs more than ever to be with her family but somehow I feel like I failed her by not being there physically.

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Maybe this is taking things a little bit further, but sometimes I feel like I have been away, during the times that I more than ever needed to be around--not only to her obviously, but also my family and loved ones.

Am I too caught up living my own life that I tend to disappear from the lives of those dearest to me?

Words are never enough and I wonder if they feel that I am all about words. Even then, do I say I love you enough? Do I ever express missing them?

Further more, when was the last time I made it felt that I am involved?

Do I make the trip just so I'd be there?

It is quite sad--maybe just a little less than tragic that just maybe I am failing people closest to me with my sins of omission.

it's alive!

I'd like to thank my good friend for giving me a good laugh today. I really can't disclose most of the details, but it did involve a woman referring to herself as yummy mummy, when she is obviously very much alive.

take it, take it

I was pretty sure the only activities I would be engaged with this Sunday are (1) having lunch with my family and (2) going to mass. It was until I opened my shopping bag from yesterday and found out that it got switched with my friend's.

Obviously, I now have three things to do.

first saturday in NMoS

I went to see an exhibit today with a friend--of course it ended up at a familiar cafe. Of course the cafe bit is insignificant. Among everything that were on display, I singled out one thing. It is an aid for the afterlife. It stands two inches tall. I'm not so sure what it was about this one, but somehow it felt relevant.

let him do his job

It is once again time for a haircut, while I am trying to grow my hair, I recognise that I can't just leave it until it reaches the length that I like. Sooooo, I went to my regular place. My initial thoughts were not as such, but in the end, I gave into the champion's advise. The photo on the left was taken right after I got out of the salon--and of course that won't be what it would look like after I wash my hair. The photo below is more like how it would look in the real world.The surprising thing was that after my afternoon nap, the front sort of flipped back in, looking more like the first photo. Hmmmmm. Now I'm really excited about how it would look tomorrow.

i'm just a girl popping up in front of a boy

Lately, I had been crazy about pop-up cards. I even started making them!It really makes me happy to see scrap paper and remains from my sewing materials pop up to life. Not unlike Geppetto's delight.The details sort of made me smile wider--if that possible at all.I think I also made my first paper doll in the process :)

(un)becoming

I never had earrings like these, but I always wanted a pair. While I was never really seriously at the lookout, I was pleasantly surprised to find one in an antique silver online store. Imagine my excitement when I found out that they were willing to ship internationally.I was so excited when I got them. I thought the size was perfect. Of course I did have some reservations as these earrings have some weight on them and are actually clip-ons.

Nonetheless, I wore them the first day I had a chance. I thought they were perfect until lunch time.

By noon, I had taken them off because the weight was too much to bear, not to mention that my ears had turned red and maybe I'm exaggerating, but close to bruising.

I put them on again after office hours, thinking that miraculously they had become more usable.

I took them off a little over three hours later.

Everyday is an occasion. Yes. But these earrings are clearly not for all occasions. The question is, for what occasion?

no wire

Internet connection is provided for in the place where we stay. And as no one stepped up to buy a router, we would be the only home in Singapore that relied on internet cables.

We all have the long cables though, so this meant we could bring our notebooks around pretty much anywhere the house but the kitchen and we'd still be connected.

But all that had changed on Wednesday.

We are now, after four years, wireless.

Look Ma, no wires! :)

a lot like two rivers

day one: i thought it's time

day two: i got one, but was disappointed. it was flawed.

day three: i got another one

day four: i thought i'd rather have the first one

day five: i was not sure anymore that i wanted the first one better. saw a glaring issue.

day six: discovered the first one's charm--off of the issue.

day seven: couldn't decide between a 'sure/steady' and a 'love/hate rollercoaster'

day eight: found out i don't have to choose :)

amber

I wonder when orange--as in the color of the traffic light turned amber.

What I mean is, I can't figure out when I started using amber for orange.

I remember quite clearly hearing my cousin say "orange means go faster" before going for her driver's test--caused her dad to shake his head. She got her license--on the first try, by the way.

not uncommon

While (as I always say) I am a creature of habit I would not say that I am obsessive compulsive. Maybe once upon a time, when I was a mainframe programmer, I was with naming my booleans. But generally, I'm not even close.

I however, like habits. And recently I made a new one.

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There are two ladies rooms in our floor, and both have a couple of stalls. Unless it is after lunchtime or Friday end of day, you won't have to wait one second to use the toilet. And because of this, each time you go, you have to decide on which room and which stall you'd go to.

To simplify things, I go to the ladies room on the left side and use the leftmost stall. No special reason. Just so I have one less thing to think about.

Of course in the case that it is engaged, I have no problem using whichever one is available.

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I am pretty sure it is not my doing, but on Wednesday a sign was taped on the stall. It read DO NOT USE.

No problem, I used the one beside it.

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When I got back to my seat, I overheard two colleagues talking and one girl said the cubicle in the ladies I always go to is out of order, now I have to decide each time which one I should use.

Hmmmmmm. Curious.